uh oh

(1:55:16 PM) Me: oh did I tell you that I'm afraid that the neighbor likes the one emo song I put on the disc I made for her best?
(1:55:35 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha nope what song?
(1:56:39 PM) Me: I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't by Brand New. And it's kind of different from what I played for you... I played you stuff from their really angry/sad newest cd. This is more...... I dunno still whiney, but peppy at least. But anyway I put it on because it has a catchy bass line and when she was originally telling me about liking my music that filters down, she was saying that the bass was good
(1:57:04 PM) Me: so anyway today she was talking about some song that had good bass, had a weird name she couldn't remember, and that the lyrics weren't that good though
(1:57:19 PM) Me: which.... pretty much has to be that song or one of the RHCP ones

why?

My gas bill is $86 dollars. In fucking August. No heating and barely any cooking. What the fuck? Could there be a leak? I would've thought I'd have smelled it or been blown up by now.

The DN's always suspected that we didn't get separate water heaters, and that's why their gas bill ended up rather high sometimes. But seriously, in the middle of August, who could be using at LEAST $50 more worth of hot water than previously?

Even if rates are up.... it's August. AUGUST. This is more than I was paying in the middle of winter for gas.

I hate that I'm making a little more money at my new job than I was at my old job, and all of it (if not more than the extra) is being absorbed by this BS, leaving me with the same or less than I was making before.

What I've been doing the last few days (aside from apparently using a lot of gas and not knowing about it): watching movies. I've watched about half of the DVD's I own, and last night I rented about four (at Family Video because I can never go to Hipster ever again) and watched them all. It was pretty depressing.

Idiocracy was depressing because it's not that far off the mark RE: our future.

Running With Scissors.... well, if you've read the book, you know. I was actually slightly mad at it for not being as depressing as the book.

Miss Potter the most depressing of all. Mainly it just reminded me of the similarities of myself and her (old maid, overbearing mother) and the differences (she had real talent and a love for what she did, and eventually became self sufficient). But I guess it did teach me that if you wait long enough for the right guy you can hook up with a really nice guy who believes in you and looks like Ewan MacGregor (did anyone else find it hilarious that a guy with the last name MacGregor is in a biography of Beatrix Potter?) who will then die but then if you wait 8 more years you can marry some random other guy.

Catch and Release was depressing in how awful it was. I wanted dumb hollywood escapism but it was so very awful it couldn't even get me that. Awful!

tired

I'm tired of working a job I hate
I'm tired of being alone all the time
I'm tired of carpal tunnel syndrome

but most of all

I AM FUCKING TIRED OF COLITIS

It's not tired of me, though.

every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn't thinking isn't thinking of

So I think I am still depressed in general, but in specific I've been feeling pretty good the last couple days.

Being around people + not working + not being at home + nice weather + breaking desks + abusing car salesmen + street fairs + TMBG = win. It's kind of a band aid fix, but I'll take it.

But yeah, I went to Stevenson's birthday party on Fri, and managed not to totally alienate everyone with my racist jokes (I don't know why, but I've picked up joking about racism along with dead babies and fucking everyone's mom. I kind of get "Your Racist Friend" by TMBG in my head every time I do something racist at a party. Only TMBG is chastising the racist person in the song, so perhaps they would not approve) and poorly taught card games. I also got to hang out with Opt the next day, which I enjoy. And I've been hanging out with my parents today. I've found that I spend SO much time alone and/or talking to people I hate at work that when I do get a chance to talk to someone I'll yack their ear off even about things I find boring. But... my parents didn't seem to mind and I think I managed to reign it enough at the party and with Opt.

Today I had off (I worked Sat instead cause someone wanted to switch sched's). I'm always happier when I'm not there.

Not being at home = awesome. I love my apt, I really do. But I spend so much goddamn time home alone, and I think it's been getting to me. It was nice to chill on my parents' super-sweet porch. It also helped me continue to stay away from the computer, which I've been trying to do more lately. I don't think typing at home is giving me the carpal tunnel problems, but it's certainly been aggravating them.

I broke my desk at work yesterday. It was pretty hilarious. You take your fun where you can get it when you work a job you hate. Also, I have finally realized that all car salesmen who yell at me when I can't do what they want are my bitches and will eventually do what I tell them to because they want to make their sale. It's nice to realize I have a little power at my crappy job, however small.

So, yesterday I went to the Champaign (or is it Urbana?) corn festival with Opt. I had smoothie, funnel cake, fancy pop, and fancy bread. It was awesome. Today I went to the Normal corn festival with my dad. I had some really good corn (amazing!), a hot dog, and funnel cake. Also awesome. Plus, I bought this wicked-awesome Pan's Labyrinth poster that I probably can't afford (weirdly, the Normal festival was way bigger, way more populated, and had more interesting things than the one in C-U). I saw a scary Borders customer from far away and made it my mission to avoid him.

I've been listening a lot to TMBG today. It's hard to be sad while listening to them. I have other favorite bands, but they don't necessarily cheer me up. TMBG--made of cheer, somehow. I think if they ever wanted to team up with Dschinghis Khan, they could kill emo forever.

I'm depressed. Yeah, seeing that on someone's online journal is not that surprising. It doesn't make it feel any better though.

Last night at work it hit me: I have to get out of here. The funny thing is, it wasn't particularly a bad night for that job. It didn't really suck more than usual. Which... is probably why it felt so bad. If you have an exceptionally bad call or series of calls, you can justify it to yourself as, "it's not always this bad." But, it wasn't worse than usual last night. It always IS this bad. And, like always, this led me to the fact that I don't just hate my job, I hate nearly everything about my life.

So I went home, looked at the jobs I always look at but will never get. I looked at the library science program of U of I that I see no feasible way of getting a degree in unless I want to go deeply in debt.

So I took way too many sleeping pills, and slept.

And when I woke up, nothing had changed.

old people mix cd

(3:03:08 PM) Me: seriously though I'm making it for my neighbor. She's going to either love it or hate it and regret mentioning to me that she likes my music
(3:03:13 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(3:03:13 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: yeah
(3:03:18 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: maybe she'll learn to not eaves drop
(3:03:36 PM) Me: yeah :P
(3:03:39 PM) Me: or to not talk to me
(3:03:45 PM) Me: I'm not putting anything too scary on here
(3:03:50 PM) Me: re: curse words
(3:04:01 PM) Me: but most of it is pretty indie and "who the hell are they?" for an old woman, I'd think
(3:10:00 PM) Me: so, if she likes this, she is the coolest old lady ever
(3:10:11 PM) Me: 1. Nada Surf - Do it Again
2. Built to Spill - Goin’ Against Your Mind
3. Wolf Parade - I’ll Believe in Anything
4. Suburban Kids With Biblical Names - Rent a Wreck
5. Neutral Milk Hotel - Holland 1945
6. Red Hot Chili Peppers - 21st Century
7. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Soul to Squeeze
8. Ben Folds - There’s Always Someone Cooler Than You
9. Ben Folds - Annie Waits
10. Sufjan Stevens - The Henney Buggy Band
11. Sufjan Stevens - Come On! Feel the Illinoise!
12. They Might Be Giants - Birdhouse in Your Soul
13. They Might Be Giants - Ana Ng
14. Modest Mouse - Dashboard
15. Modest Mouse - Float On
16. The Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.
17. Brand New - Okay, I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don’t
18. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
(3:10:27 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: nix number 3 and you got a winner
(3:10:32 PM) Me: haha
(3:10:45 PM) Me: you said that just to insult wolf parade. I bet you don't particularly love all the others either
(3:12:07 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: most of the rest are good
(3:12:18 PM) Me: haha thanks

if anyone who knows me still reads this....

Ask me to hang out sometime. Seriously. I'm sick of doing all the work with nearly everyone I know. Just because I don't work with you/live near you anymore doesn't mean I don't exist.

fuckers

Fact: carpal tunnel brace makes my wrist hurt MORE.

PS: I think I pissed off a customer enough to make him call up his agent and complain about me. He was being a complete douche to me, and I just started being snippy.

I actually said the most jerky thing I've ever said at this job (though he had already said he was going to complain about me way before this, and didn't seem to notice the jerkiness of this particular comment) which was, I listed out towing providers to him. He asked me if "Absolute Towing" has tow trucks, and I said, "Well sir, since they have towing in their name, I imagine they do."

Why are the calls that sour me on life always the LAST call before I leave for the day? I actually had a pretty easy day today at work, people were pretty good in general. And then any good mood I would have from that, bam, right out the window and what I think about for the night is the guy who constantly abused me because he thinks I'm triple A and wouldn't even spell the goddamn street names so I could find a tow company cause I couldn't understand him.

(12:36:19 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that sucks..
(12:36:22 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I dunno how you put up with that
(12:36:58 AM) Me: cause I would be unemployed otherwise

you're the magic that holds the sky up from the ground

I forgot to document this yesterday, but it needs to be documented, because it is hilarious.

Some guy called me up at work the other day thinking we were the publisher's clearing house. He didn't want to believe me that we were the company we actually are. He kept saying, "you must've gotten the wrong number, I've been calling this number for years" and it didn't seem to matter to him when I pointed out the fact that he called us up, not vice versa. That has probably been my most enjoyable call ever. I was sad when I finally convinced him and he hung up.

PS

I burnt my finger while I was destroying fresh garden potatoes.

my life sucks

Today was not good. I was late to work. Which... where I work is extremely strict about lateness. On top of which, I was so worried about that, I was kind of off my game and kind of messed up a few calls.

On top of it, I think I realized another reason I'm always depressed there. Aside from the obvious, I am TRAPPED IN A ONE POINT PERSPECTIVE PAINTING. I tried to explain one point perspective to a coworker, and he just told me to lay off the acid.

Seriously, I can't even tell you how eerie it was when I first noticed it. None of the photos I'm finding online are creepy enough. Most of them are of roads, which, only have the road itself going into the vanishing point. Whereas at work there are these perfectly parallel drop ceiling lines going away, and on the sides these big blue square pillars, and on the bottom, of course, the cubicles in absolute alignment.

The closest I can find are hallways...

1

2

3

Not healthy.

bitches

So... warning to anyone who sends things via USPS:

1) whether or not you get it insured, it is a crapshoot whether or not the item will arrive at it's intended destination in one piece

2) don't buy their insurance unless you like throwing your money away. Cause if something happens to it, they will never cough out the money they owe you.

Seriously, my dad was nice yesterday and paid the 14 dollars for me to be able to open the package to see if it was damaged on the inside. Now, I don't know if the speakers themselves work, because the prongs of plug on the power cord are bent pretty extremely and we didn't want to fix it to see if the speakers worked and then not have evidence that the prongs were still all bent. Additionally, the subwoofer has a dent in it, and the cloth part on it is pretty chewed up. There were some styrofoam pieces in there, and they are utterly destroyed.

We bring it back and are like, "yeah, you fucked it up. Give us our money." NOW the fuckers are telling me that the box I used was "flimsy" and it's not their fault that it was damaged.

GODDDAMNIT. NO ONE told me it was too flimsy when I mailed it. NO ONE told me it was too flimsy before we paid the GODDAMN FOURTEEN DOLLARS to see if it was damaged inside. You fuckers just got fourteen more dollars out of us via trickery. I think even if this whole insurance claim doesn't pan out, they should at least give us the money for shipping back, considering it's their fault that the product did not arrive intact at its intended destination. This whole situation has got me thinking more and more of that Eugene Mirman bit about jack in the box (somewhat paraphrased):

"So I noticed that Jack in the Box is advertising that if there's something wrong with what you get, they will either replace it or give you your money back. But, isn't this the promise every business makes when they become a business? Like if you went to sears, and you picked out a washer and dryer and they're like, "we'll bring it to you tomorrow" and then the next day someone comes and they give you a box and you open it up and there's a cat on fire? And they're just like, "Sorry, we're not Jack in the Box" and then run away and dive in a sewer."

I guess the trouble is the USPS isn't a business, it's the government, and all democracy aside, they don't really have to make anyone happy to keep running. But you'd think common human decency....

Plus, I don't think that box is that flimsy, if you could see how fucked up it is. This box could've been like two inches thick and it wouldn't have mattered, it looks like it's been through fucking hell.

uh ohs

I noticed the first sign of the apocolypse at borders today:



Click on it if you want a hilarious synopsis of the novel from which it came.

It's true, I am a zombie

I now feel obliged to end even personal calls with, "is there anything else I can do for you today?"

get out while you can

OLD PEOPLE LIKE MY MUSICAL TASTE.

So I don't know if I've mentioned it, but there is this middle aged lady in the building who moved in recently. I think she's got a husband or boyfriend or something living in there too, which makes me sad for them (if you are middle aged and forced to share an apt. my size with another human being, that is sad). Anyway, she's really friendly. And I do kind of like her, she's nice and her stories usually are pretty interesting. But... they never end. Like one thing reminds her of another, and another, and you can never get a word in to make it a real conversation or to escape. Which kind of makes me jumpy and want to get away.

So, today when I was coming home from work, I saw her, and was not really in the mood so I told myself I was going to be like, "well I gotta get upstairs" and sort of nip it in the bud before the "neverending story you feel like you're rude if you interupt" begins. But then she was like, "What radio station do you listen to all the time? It's SO good, but I can never find it, and it's driving me nuts!"

That's right, folks. She knows my kryptonite: musical vanity.

So I told her that it was just the mp3's on my computer. And I felt kind of bad that they can hear the music that well down there even when I'm trying to keep it down and they apparently like it.

The thing is, though, especially since I'm going through the list of EVERYTHING randomized, I couldn't even tell her what it is I'm listening to in particular. But I was kind of frightened when she was telling me about the other night when it was awesome bass for quite a long time that it was the Bloodhound Gang, and I'll someday have to play it for her and be like, "This is what you were rocking out to down there." Hopefully though it was when I was listening to Modest Mouse or RHCP or something (the other non list approved things I've broken down andlistened to lately. And RHCP DOES have awesome bass...).

But anyway, somehow she managed to get from that to the llamas the govt. of El Salvador bought for her sister, and I was still there forced to listen twenty minutes later.

Then, and I sort of knew this was inevitable, but since she'll yack anyone's ear off, and model train guy will yack anyone's ear off, they're apparently friends. So Model Train guy came out after awhile, and I KNEW he'd probably been listening and now knows that even though I will rudely interupt him and say, "gotta go now" the instant I see him, I will sit there and listen to her yacking for like half an hour. He is probably going to flip out and kill me with a model train now. Especially since as soon as he came out I did start fighting to get away again and left as soon as possible.

awesomeness

Buddy cops: Ben Franklin & Booker T Washington: What if they got transfered to the Vice Squad? awesomeness ensues

random other comic

Another one. If you don't know what that song is, you are dead to me.

Also, the part of the song I would definitely includes 4:20-4:38.

hulk smash

It's awesome. Whenever I tell anyone about the Hulk Smash Diet, someone adds their own little twist to it. I'm at the point where I probably COULD write a book about it anymore.

(3:04:38 PM) Stevenson: I HATE YOU
(3:04:44 PM) Stevenson: oops, that slipped out.
(3:05:45 PM) Me: haha
(3:06:09 PM) Me: if you werent' so skinny already you would be a prime candidate for the hulk smash diet
(3:06:29 PM) Stevenson: what's that?
(3:06:43 PM) Me: it's a diet I made up
(3:06:48 PM) Me: based on the Fat Smash diet
(3:06:54 PM) Me: that was like on oprah so it sold a ton
(3:07:01 PM) Stevenson: ahhh
(3:07:13 PM) Me: I decided that there should be a "hulk smash diet" where you lose the weight from being angry and breaking things
(3:07:17 PM) Me: that takes a lot of energy
(3:07:21 PM) Stevenson: oh, totally.
(3:07:25 PM) Stevenson: That's an awesome idea.
(3:07:28 PM) Me: and then like all the after photos are these skinny green people
(3:07:48 PM) Me: and like if you're not angry enough on your own, you can take steroids which will make you more ripped AND angry
(3:08:29 PM) Stevenson: Are there centers you can go to and break stuff, so you don't have to break your own stuff?
(3:08:37 PM) Me: haha
(3:08:41 PM) Me: that's an awesome idea
(3:08:45 PM) Me: I hadn't even thought of that

are you dead or are you sleeping?

So I finally got around to renting Tideland like I've meant to a million years now. It was alright, though not what I hoped. If you love crazy people, though, I highly reccomend it. Also, I don't know how she is in real life, so I can't tell if it's great acting or not, but I just want you to know that Jennifer Tilly is awesome at playing obnoxious people. Part of it might be her voice, too. So technically, I guess I could also be awesome at acting obnoxious people roles if I ever wanted to become an actor. Alas, I stick to just annoying people in real life.

In other news, I'm very excited because I might've found my Dan Story! Dan Story, by the way, if you're reading this, sorry for using your full name on the interwebs. But you're the original and I need to give you props.

Anyway, the backstory on Dan Story is that the one friend I have from high school that I still talk to knows a guy named that, though I use "know" pretty vaguely. Basically, he went to high school with us, but a year or two ahead. She ended up working at Kroger with him for awhile and it drove her nuts trying to remember where she knew him from until she realized it was high school. Then after she quit Kroger she just kept running into him. And I mean it is a small town, but she runs into him inordinately frequently. And there's usually some amusing story that goes with it, like him witnessing her running her car into this rail at a mechanic's or her witnessing him doing something equally stupid. And they never talk even though they apparently see each other everywhere. So it's amusing, every time I see her she usually has a "Dan Story Story."

But a week or two the Dan Story concept underwent a complete metamorphosis when I was talking to Opt. Opt's ex-boyfriend is named Dan. And apparently her roommate runs into him constantly. And again, they went to high school together, kind of hung around the same people. He actually met her several times but couldn't remember cause he was really drunk. And I was like, "WHOA. Opt, Dan is your roomate's Dan Story! This is so awesome!"

Anyway, my Dan Story is probably inferior because 1) he goes by "Danny" instead of "Dan," 2) we actually do speak to each other instead of ignoring each other like my friend and the orig. Dan Story 3) I haven't ran into him a ridiculous amount. But he has the fact that 1) his name is some variation on Dan and 2) we did manage to go through high school together without really talking and 3) we do run into each other off and on makes him a legit Dan Story in my book.

Plus, I just kind of want my own Dan Story. Since Opt told me about her roommate's Dan Story and I realized it wasn't limited to just the Orig. Dan Story, I've been wanting one.

Oh and this ties into the movie thing cause my possible Dan Story works where I rented the movie. Here's a delightfully out of context snippet from the conversation we ended up having, documented here because it made me laugh:

Me: so do you fart in any of the books?
My Dan Story: No.
My Dan Story: I fart in ALL of them.

I think it went on to the point where we decided everyone hates religious people because bibles are fat enough that they need farted in several times, and even if you get one from amazon someone will fart on the shrink rap and the smell will somehow never leave.

I also got Wet Hot American Summer (alright, and I do love the scene where Christopher Meloni is talking to a can of vegetables voiced by Coach McGuirk) and To Catch a Thief (which I haven't watched yet).

More comics. I'd like to point out that Ryan was integral to making both of them, and that he also came up with "Like a Good Neighbor, I Know Where You Live" some time ago.


BFF

What if Ben Franklin and Booker T Washington Were Buddy Cops?

birthday wishes

Only a horrible, horrible person would make a birthday coupon book for someone that included "a free retarded baby of your choice" coupon.

Only a twisted, horrible, horrible person would include flavors such as x-tra chunky, xtra tender, xtra crispy, lead paint flavored, and mystery.

Only a disgusting, twisted, horrible, horrible person would include a disclaimer at the end of this that says: "Mystery flavor has been processed on machinery that has come in contact with peanuts. Mystery baby sauce may include but is not limited to the retarded child's own urine, feces, or vomit. Please do not consume a mystery retarded child while pregnant or nursing unless you want another retarded child. Side effects of mystery retarded babies include nausea, dizziness, and anal leakage. Please consult your doctor before taking mystery retarded baby."

Happy Birthday, Ashley.

we've got a knack for fucked up history

So today did get better. My parents bought me some foods at Sams Club.

Then I went to Borders and bought a book I can't afford and shamelessly wasted the staff's time. Some lady even complained about me "spending too much time talking and looking at books and not enough time working." She apparently was rather surprised to hear that I haven't worked there FOR MONTHS.

In other Borders news, I really, really wish Kevin & I had been born siblings so I could've known him my entire life. I went up to him and said one of the assorted douchebag customer lines I like to say to people now that I don't work there. I said, "Uh, yeah, can you find a book with a blue cover for me that was on display around christmas time? I think it had something to do with dogs."

I went to the cafe to speak to YM after that, and I turn around and Kevin has this in hand.

I LOVE that he went to that kind of effort for the joke.

shitlords

So I'm wondering if I have a chemical imbalance, or if my general hatred of my life is filtering through to other things, but I swear I've cried more in the last couple of weeks than the last couple of months combined. Well... I don't know. Tami used to make me cry a lot. But I can't think of anything else I cried about a lot except for her terminal case of back-stabby bitchiness in awhile, until now.

But yeah, I followed up the embarassing McDonald's incident with an embarassing Post Office incident. Which, I guess if you're going to go crazy, you might as well go old skool and do it at the Post Office. I know it's a stupid reason to cry, but here goes (I'm going to include a re-cap just so that you can see how stupid this situation is):

--I bought $99 dollar speakers mail order from Creative Labs. I am poor but I thought it was worth dipping into my savings.

--The speakers didn't work well. I actually don't think it's anything with the speakers, but I still can't figure out how to make them work very well on my computer.

--I mail them back to Creative. I do this parcel post, which is the cheapest available, and insure the package. This costs $16.00

--I go out and buy some $40 speakers at Best Buy. They don't really work any better than the Creative ones, but they're cheaper so it doesn't piss me off as bad.

--I get a notice from the post office that this package has been returned postage due and I owe $14 to get it back.

--I go over there and ask them if they know why it's returned, they don't know. I see the package, and despite the fact that it has fragile stickers all over it, it is pretty mutilated. I have a good idea of why Creative wouldn't take it back.

--I call up Creative and they're like, "we don't know, we're going to check."

--Two days later they call me back and are like, "Yeah the outside of the package was really messed up, so we refused it." I ask for documentation on this to give the Post Office, and they won't give me any.

--Today I go into the Post Office to file a claim. I'm told that insurance doesn't cover the outside of the package getting fucked up, they have to be damaged for me to file a claim. Then I'm told, I can't even open them to see if they're damaged without paying the $14 postage due.

--I cried in the post office.

For more detailed whining, you can read this:

(1:46:40 PM) Me: I just cried at the post office
(1:46:44 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: aww : (
(1:46:46 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: what'd they say?
(1:47:01 PM) Me: I have to pay 14 dollars to even be able to open the package to see if I can file a claim
(1:47:17 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: wow that's retarded
(1:47:18 PM) Me: and if it isn't damaged on the inside I get nothing
(1:47:41 PM) Me: even though since those fuckers are responsible for it getting to creative labs all spindled and mutilated
(1:47:51 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: so.. explain to me again this whole deal again
(1:47:53 PM) Me: and me not being able to get my refund because of it
(1:47:59 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: creative refused to pay because it was damaged?
(1:48:12 PM) Me: yeah. The outside of the package is messed up pretty bad.
(1:48:27 PM) Me: They didn't even open it
(1:48:35 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that's retarded
(1:48:42 PM) Me: I know
(1:48:45 PM) Me: neither of them will pay
(1:48:51 PM) Me: and I'm especially mad at the post office
(1:48:58 PM) Me: because that goddamn thing had fragile stickers all over it
(1:49:01 PM) Me: and I insured it
(1:49:37 PM) Me: so I'm basically out 120 dollars at this point
(1:49:50 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that really fuckin' sucks
(1:49:56 PM) Me: I can pay 14 dollars to see if it's damaged
(1:49:57 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: no one's taking responsibility for it?
(1:50:01 PM) Me: and if it is I'll get 99 back
(1:50:02 PM) Me: Yep
(1:50:09 PM) Me: or I can pay 14 dollars
(1:50:15 PM) Me: have it not be damaged
(1:50:31 PM) Me: and spend 20 more to send it to creative again
(1:50:43 PM) Me: or get no money at all from creative because this has taken so long
(1:50:52 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the PS won't send it back even thought it was insured and fragile?
(1:50:59 PM) Me: yep
(1:51:10 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that's just.. stupid
(1:51:18 PM) Me: Ryan, remind me to NEVER EVER buy anything important mail order ever again
(1:51:43 PM) Me: if I'd just gotten the goddamn speakers from best buy in the first place
(1:51:51 PM) Me: I wouldn't have to deal with all this post office shit
(1:52:02 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: yeah, or get it sent through UPS or Fed-Ex
(1:52:03 PM) Me: but yeah I cried in front of the lady
(1:52:06 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: not the postal service
(1:52:07 PM) Me: well I could've
(1:52:11 PM) Me: it just cost even more
(1:52:13 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: because like everything else, the government sucks
(1:52:15 PM) Me: and was farther away
(1:52:26 PM) Me: and I didn't think they'd fuck it up like this and not take responsibility
(1:52:32 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: yeah
(1:52:56 PM) Me: and she's like, "yeah since you sent it parcel post you do have to pay cause it was returned"
(1:53:06 PM) Me: like I should've fucking known not to send it parcel post
(1:53:22 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: i'm not sure I understand that
(1:53:23 PM) Me: 1) no one told me this about parcel post BEFORE I sent it, which is pretty much when you'd want to know
(1:53:25 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: or why you have to pay money now
(1:53:27 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: to get it back
(1:53:32 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: even though you already paid the shipping to send it
(1:53:53 PM) Me: and 2) I didnt' think they'd fuck up the package and creative wouldn't take it back
(1:54:05 PM) Me: well apparently there's several tiers, and I picked the cheapest one
(1:54:21 PM) Me: and if you send something parcel post and the other people are like "we don't want it" you have to pay for the return trip
(1:54:34 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that's retarded
(1:54:50 PM) Me: I know it's a stupid thing to cry about
(1:54:56 PM) Me: but I really did start crying in the post office
(1:55:15 PM) Me: and I could tell the lady was all embarassed and uncomfortable
(1:55:28 PM) Me: and I like didn't want to yell at her because it's not her fault or anything
(1:55:37 PM) Me: but I'd just wish someone would goddamn do what they promised
(1:55:50 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: yeah that really sucks : (
(1:55:57 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: so the insurance doesn't help anything?
(1:56:03 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: is that like.. only if it's totally destroyed or lost?
(1:56:06 PM) Me: not unless the speakers are broken
(1:56:07 PM) Me: yep
(1:56:29 PM) Me: and I can't even find out if they are broken
(1:56:38 PM) Me: I can't even OPEN THE PACKAGE AT THE OFFICE AND LOOK INSIDE
(1:56:42 PM) Me: until I pay them fourteen dollars
(1:56:51 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: yeah that's really stupid
(1:57:21 PM) Me: fuckers. I'm half tempted to take the package home and if the speakers aren't broken, fucking taking a hammer to them
(1:57:28 PM) Me: and being like, "look what you did"
(1:57:29 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(1:57:39 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: you should, how would they know?
(1:57:43 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: just step on the box a few times
(1:57:58 PM) Me: haha I probably wouldn't even have to. That package is pretty messed up.
(1:58:11 PM) Me: it looks like someone already took it through hell and back
(1:58:22 PM) Me: which is why Creative wouldn't take it back
(1:58:54 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: understandable but it sucks that they didn't even open it and check
(1:59:01 PM) Me: yeah
(1:59:04 PM) Me: I'm mad at both companies
(1:59:33 PM) Me: Creative wouldn't even send me any documentation on why they wouldn't take it
(1:59:45 PM) Me: which apparently wouldn't have done any good anyway
(1:59:52 PM) Me: but I really wanted to have when I went in there today
(1:59:59 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: they just sent it back without any word why?
(2:00:03 PM) Me: yep
(2:00:09 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: what the heck
(2:00:10 PM) Me: I had to call them back and ask them
(2:00:17 PM) Me: and they had to like call me back two days later
(2:00:29 PM) Me: so for all I know they're liars too
(2:00:39 PM) Me: but the package is pretty fucked up
(2:03:40 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I can't think of another context I'd say this in, but hopefully the speakers inside are fucked up too
(2:03:54 PM) Me: haha
(2:04:07 PM) Me: well I was so upset I was like, "can you guys hold it for a couple of more days"
(2:04:11 PM) Me: and just went home
(2:04:19 PM) Me: and was like I'll deal with it later
(2:05:09 PM) Me: I'm thinking of maybe telling my story to my parents and seeing if my mom will yell at them for me. I hate to yell at/unleash my yelling mom on employees who clearly don't make the rules, but damn if it doesn't get results

no sleep

There's nothing sadder than waking up in the middle of the night unable to sleep and spending the time drawing these.

Comics Based On Friendships

Julie
Andy

Comics Based On Work

Number 1


Random Comics

Hot
Another Pyromaniac Zombie & Rick

comic!

I have some more ideas rattling around, but this is the last of the ones I REALLY meant to/wanted to do. I have a feeling it could've been executed better, but I enjoyed the idea.

And the sad fact about that comic, is I did do a google image search to make sure I got the drawing to look right.

mo comics

This is an amalgam of several incidents. Oh, and the part that goes after the end where I trail off is "I will probably bend over and take it like I usually do."

vagina shoes

Another new one!

It really cracks me up. Of course, what actually makes me laugh about it is the original conversation.

This is a sequel to "What if a Pyromaniac Zombie and a Vampire Hunter Were Buddy Cops" that I made quite awhile ago, and even remembered to upload, but then never posted.

comic

First new comic in awhile.


enjoy.

I found the idea for it HILARIOUS but I had a hard time deciding on how I wanted to present it. I hope this is only half as funny as it was when I first thought up the idea (though it was modified somewhat by a comment from Stevenson)

forever.

Okay, after looking at lots of awesome mousepads on cafe press that basically had lines from movies I like, "I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion!" and such, I realized I could just write something on the mousepad I already have. So here you go, my new awesome mousepad:

mission

Find me a cool mouse pad. I've been using the lame Dell one that came with my computer a year now. I keep thinking I shouldn't look, that I'll just be somewhere and notice one, but this has not happened. Mouse pads are apparently not as everpresent everywhere when you don't even want one as they were in the 90's. And I'd think I could find a cool achewood one or something, I mean, that guy sells cookbooks and umbrellas and shit. But no mouse pad.

I DO have an old coke bear one I made my mom gave me from my parents computer when she was going to throw it away. However, there are definite downsides to this mouse pad because:

1) You can barely see the coke bear. This is because this is a well used/worn mouse pad. This is also because there are so many cigarette ashes rubbed into it.

2) I actually cannot find it anywhere.

So yeah, if you've seen a cool mouse pad anywhere, let me knows.

And by the way, if you mention this I will have to do something bad to you.

320/7263

Oh and some clarification, I'm mostly mentioning songs that I've never really listened to much before. So yes, if a stretch of songs has a Ben Folds song of course it makes the highlight list, but I already know that. This is more a way to remember what was particularly good or bad if I want to go back and listen to any of it after this huge project is over.

Highlights: Simon & Garfunkel - Bleeker St, Nada Surf - Why Are You So Mean To Me? Damien Rice - Rootless Tree, Richard Cheese - American Idiot, Saves the Day - Collision, TMBG - Snail Shell, Koufax - Work Will Never End, Get a Room - The Vandals, Audio Blood - The Matches, Meow Meow Lullaby (think it's Nada Surf, dunno for sure), Harvey Danger - Problems and Bigger Ones, Flim - The Bad Plus, New Radicals - Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too, Scattered - Greenday, Son of Sam - Eliot Smith, the Clash - Stay Free, Mexican Seafood - Nirvana, TMBG - Robot Parade, The Matches - Papercut Skin,

Lowlights: Weird Al Tv Show Theme, Terrible Doubts (dunno artist).

Nice ratio of good to bad :D

Gold Lion's gonna tell me where the light is

I forgot to ever mention how AWESOME my Saturday was.

1) Phew Harder is apparently lactose intolerant (like not forever, just for now or something). Which is not really that awesome for him, or my sister who has to cut out dairy cause she's breastfeeding him (again I don't know what that would do, I'd think breastmilk would have lactose either way). But awesome for me, because my sister gave me all the dairy food she had lying around. This includes bottled starbucks frappachino, awesome coffee granola bar things, and sherbert (it has milk in it, who knew?)

2) The Phew has discovered the hilariousness of farting. Like he can't do it on command or anything, but he'll just make this hilarious grin and then do it, and then he and I laugh and laugh. I think his absolute cuteness helps make half the things he says or does doubly hilarious. You just get happy for the world when this cherubic looking angel child just grins and rips one.

3) I don't know why, but the Phew is obsessed with being "cops who get the bad guys." He totally instigated this game and kept up with it for like an hour. After ahile I started telling the family that we were buddy cops, that the Phew is the crazy Mel Gibson one and I'm Danny Glover. Then I started saying "I'm too old for this stuff," as we got the bad guys. My family sadly did NOT get it, and thought I was complaining.

Today I saw the Bourne Ultimatum with my dad, which was pretty awesome. Except for the fact that I fucked up at setting my alarm again. But my phone was at least on this time.

the last great punkrock song before I unspike my hair and stop acting dumb

So last night sucked hardcore. I don't know if I've mentioned it on here before, but when I am half asleep, I am a moron. I don't know if that is the exact best way to put it, but I basically think/worry about the same thing over and over and can't stop. And usually it's worrying about something idiotic and/or a hypothetical discussion with someone who isn't there and is still idiotic. For instance, this is why I can't watch horror movies. If I do, at night, I'll think, "Predator/Freddie/Jason/Norman Bates/etc. is going to get me." If I could wake up all the way, I would be smart enough to know that Predator is not going to get me. If I could fall asleep all the way, I would probably have a typical nightmare which would run it's course and then I'd be fine. But instead I think, "Predator is going to get me" for several hours and don't get any real sleep.

So last night I had one of the few non-horror movie related expressions of that. I was apparently preoccupied with three things, actually. My job (yech, I've had several of these RE: my job, they're even harder to break free of cause of the repetative nature of this job), a conversation I had with someone last night, and "With the Dark," a TMBG song. These expressed themselves together in a way I've never had before. Which is to say, I had a dream where I was asking people the same thing over and over at work. About boat insurance policies. Which, at work, discussions about boat policies are rather rare, because most people don't have boats. To top it off, we can't really tell people anything about their boat policy anyway so I would not be asking anyone about boat policies. I think the reason I was mentally asking this question is because the whole time I had a line from the TMBG song in my head the WHOLE time, which was "I'm getting tired of all my nautical dreams/I'm getting tired of all my nautical schemes/bustin' my pirate hump/rocking my peg leg stump" over and over as I asked people about boat policies. Then on top of it, half the time the person I asked was someone I was talking to last night before I went to bed who I'm pretty sure does not have a boat policy anyway.

Speaking of dudes I talked to last night, I was a douche to at least three of you, if any of you read this blog, I appologize. I will probably not appologize to you in person. Because I am, after all, a jerk who was a douche to you and quite likely will be the same in the future. I can't appologize and have you all expecting me not to be one anymore.

So... I guess the short version is "last night was hell." I basically went to bed at about 1:30, finally fell asleep at about 4, woke up at about 6:30, still had that song in my head and had to listen to other music until about 9 to get that damn TMBG song out of my head, and then woke up again at 11.

Have my babies, John Linnell. Tell your wife you don't know how you got pregnant.

John Linnell, you magnificent bastard! How am I supposed to hate the world when The Mesopotamians keeps making me smile?

I'm too old for this shit

Except for Weds, this week has pretty much been shit. I'm wound so tight I think I'm going to explode on the next dickweed who crosses my path.

Anyway, the LATEST thing, in a long line of things that shouldn't even be things I should fucking have to worry about, is those goddamn speakers.

I paid 100 bucks for them. I tried everything I and several other people could think of to make them work. I called them up. They authorized a return. Two days ago, I get a thing from the post office that there is a package in the mail, postage due (14 bucks).

So of course it's the speakers, returned to sender. Despite the fact that I insured it, and had them put "fragile" stickers all over it, the package looks rather worse for the wear. The post office tells me Creative refused them.

I call up Creative. They say they never got it OR it was damaged. Which... I kind of believe them, given that the package was slightly mutilated.

So I have the package insured, and it would really just solve things if I could make the post office give me the money. That way I won't have to pay to get the fucking package back and then pay to send it to Creative again (over 30 more dollars). But I have a feeling it won't be that easy.

Anyway Creative said they'd talk to the actual dudes who handled my package to find out what happened and call me back. I really wish I could just make the stupid post office talk to Creative or vice versa so that I'm not stuck in between, basically being screwed.

So, the whole thing makes me like 8X more upset than I probably should be. I think a contributing factor is my general depression.