So the DN's got me these two really cute little frogs for christmas. It's hilarious because they gave them to me and I was like, "Wow, I actually really like frogs," and they're like, "yes, we know, EVERY time you visit you comment on our frog." And I'm like, "whoa, I don't even remember that." So I thought it was a nice and thoughtful gift.
Plus I have this weird thing where if I do have stuffed animals or any other type of animals or anything around I do like to make them talk. Which is ridiculous, because I am not good at voices, but I like to do it just the same. One thing I like to do is make Makin' Bacon Jerky, this tiny pig I have in my nametag, just say "snaaap" in a really high voice after I've insulted someone.
So anyway, "Moskau," one of the frogs named after a Dschinghis Khan song, I pretty much repeat that schtick and make him say that. The other one, Kazachok Mcgee, named after a Dschinghis Khan song and... weirdness, is kind of in his posse and backs him up and will say, "wooord," or "uuuuuuh huuuuuuh" in a low voice.
Because I'm flippin' nuts. Even I realize this is bizarre behavior, but I can't stop.
Speaking of pathologically obsessive behavior.... this is how I play all sim-like games where I have a chance between being good and totally perverting the entire game for my own weird twisted amusement
Me: I decided to be good and tell on the jerk husband
Ryan: you're so nice
Me: I just kicked the crap out of some bully kid
Ryan: haha nice
Me: but to be honest I did want to do it because I wanted violence
Ryan: haha
Me: oh man maybe I am a goody goody
Me: because I totally watched this stuff while this guy peed instead of breaking into it
Ryan: haha
Me: the others I could write off becuase I dislike infidelity and I like beating people up
Me: but the last is just "good"
Me: so to entertain myself I've just started walking up and punching people in the face
Ryan: hahah
Ryan: nice
Me: it's losing me the game though because I'm inexperienced and can't beat up these people and am getting fined for it
Me: I can't stop doing it though :P
Ryan: hey, you play the game that you want to play it
Ryan: and everyone else gets the vertical finger
Me: haha I saved this little girl's teddy bear for her
Me: THEN PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
trust your fuckin' self
Christmas was pretty good. I didn't get that much (comparatively) as I got several things early this year (the files off my old computer, my Sufjan Christmas album, some furniture), but it was fun to give and watch my nephew and eat a ton of food.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Did I make you cry on Christmas? (well, you deserved it)
So..... Christmas Eve, where do I begin? I guess it was both better AND worse than last years.
Better because:
-it fell on a Sunday, so we weren't as busy most of the day as we were last year. Either way, though, I resent every fucking customer we get on Christmas eve, because if it weren't for them I would be at home with my family enjoying Christmas Eve otherwise. And it's just so... stupid. These people could've gotten their gift ANY OTHER TIME in the last 2 months. Spend some time with your goddamn family instead of buying them some stupid last minute gift you couldn't be bothered to get them back when we had whatever you wanted in stock anyway. Which we don't, now.
--boss-boss let me play my Sufjan album while we were open
-as a direct connection to it being less busy, I got to spend a lot of time in the back not dealing with these people
-also due to it not being busy, I didn't have to be at registers too much
-I also got to come in early, which meant I could leave earlier
Worse:
-I had all this caffiene in the morning. It didn't really make me more hyper or energetic than usual (as far as I can tell) but I had a major crash after it wore off and I felt like crap.
-I said something stupid and got a friend mad at me
-I said something stupid and got a customer complaint about me
-there was no Man Who Saved Christmas (the guy who bought a neon pink christmas tree and let me wrap it in kwanzaa paper last year)
-I hate my job in general a lot more than I did last year, not just hating the christmas rush
Same: hanging out with my parents. You know, I really do love them at Christmas. And not because of the gifts (well a little because of the gifts) but major holidays are kind of the few times my mom and I are guaranteed to not be at each other's throats. My mom cooked for me, my dad rented all these movies for us to watch, we played some Scene It?, opened some presents. During the movies I didn't even have to think*.... which is good, my brain is absolutely fried right now.
Tomorrow: hanging out with the whole family. A somewhat dicier prospect. We'll see.
Nebrasky: who gave you the cage key? (he's teasing me, by the way, not being an asshole)
Me: I gave myself the cage key.
Nebrasky: you're not authorized, you'll have to give it back
Me: you'll have to pry it from my cold dead hands
*he and Thug have a laugh*
Me: Just try it, motherfucker.
Nebrasky: I enjoy Phoexx0r very much.
I also realized yet another reason I like emo today. I was listening to the Matches, and there's this song I really, really like that's basically about going to the beach while you have a cold and how miserable it is. But... it's so over the top, he just screams in anguished tones, "I'm busy decomposing below my skin!" and "I blew my brain out through my nose!"I figure if anyone can get that worked up over something that minor, I look less bad for being all constantly upset and worried over my own issues.
____
*Okay, I did do some thinking, during Superman anyway.
1) I liked some of the religious imagery, despite how obvious it was (Superman spreads out like he's crucified at one point, they keep talking about whether or not the world needs a "savior," and this is a different religion, but when he grabs the planet off the Daily Planet it is very Atlas-y. And again the very obvious metaphor "he has the whole world on his shoulders!")
2) Lois Lane is a total jerk. Now.... I don't know if she's a jerk in most of the books and/or movies, but I really didn't like her in this. I mean, there's always been the fact that she's an idiot if she can't tell someone with glasses is the same person, though I guess she can be somewhat forgiven by the rules of the story, considering somehow no one else can tell either. Still... I think if you like, make out with someone on a semi-regular basis, you could tell who they were even if they had a moderately good disguise. The other thing is a lot of superhero movies where the guy has dual identities, the love interest usually seems to have at least a little interest in the civilian identity. It's like... "I like that guy, but he could use a little more daaanger." Or "I'm torn between two lovers if only they were the same man!" sort of thing. But in this Lois is like... barely even Clark's friend. Like... whenever he even tries to say hi, she goes out of her way to be a jerk and ignore him. Like at one point she says she feels such a strong connection to Superman even though she doesn't know him that well, and I'm like, "where's the connection? The part of him that's not saving everyone every minute of the day you don't even care about. You're a superhero groupie, you jerk." Also you can totally tell she wants to leave her new guy to be with Superman even though he ditched her like five years ago without telling her why and has barely talked to her since he came back (so like even though he has a good reason and everything, she has no way of knowing that). And her new guy is a really good person, he flies this crappy-ass little airplane into the middle of a storm to save her and their child, and he doesn't know he's invincible the way Superman does, he really is risking his life to save them. So he doesn't necessarily have the same capacity to go around saving everyone all the time like Superman, or go around saving her all the time like Superman, but he has the instinct and tries at least.
3) I didn't really love Lex Luthor, because I pretty much hate Kevin Spacey in general on grounds that he is creepy. I'm sure he did a good job or whatever, though. But anyway, it made me curious what the whole story on Lex is, because usually supervillains have a reason (however crappy) but I couldn't really see why he's such a misanthropic son of a bitch, or got to be that way. And I usually find stuff like that more interesting than the squeeky clean hero's past.
Better because:
-it fell on a Sunday, so we weren't as busy most of the day as we were last year. Either way, though, I resent every fucking customer we get on Christmas eve, because if it weren't for them I would be at home with my family enjoying Christmas Eve otherwise. And it's just so... stupid. These people could've gotten their gift ANY OTHER TIME in the last 2 months. Spend some time with your goddamn family instead of buying them some stupid last minute gift you couldn't be bothered to get them back when we had whatever you wanted in stock anyway. Which we don't, now.
--boss-boss let me play my Sufjan album while we were open
-as a direct connection to it being less busy, I got to spend a lot of time in the back not dealing with these people
-also due to it not being busy, I didn't have to be at registers too much
-I also got to come in early, which meant I could leave earlier
Worse:
-I had all this caffiene in the morning. It didn't really make me more hyper or energetic than usual (as far as I can tell) but I had a major crash after it wore off and I felt like crap.
-I said something stupid and got a friend mad at me
-I said something stupid and got a customer complaint about me
-there was no Man Who Saved Christmas (the guy who bought a neon pink christmas tree and let me wrap it in kwanzaa paper last year)
-I hate my job in general a lot more than I did last year, not just hating the christmas rush
Same: hanging out with my parents. You know, I really do love them at Christmas. And not because of the gifts (well a little because of the gifts) but major holidays are kind of the few times my mom and I are guaranteed to not be at each other's throats. My mom cooked for me, my dad rented all these movies for us to watch, we played some Scene It?, opened some presents. During the movies I didn't even have to think*.... which is good, my brain is absolutely fried right now.
Tomorrow: hanging out with the whole family. A somewhat dicier prospect. We'll see.
Nebrasky: who gave you the cage key? (he's teasing me, by the way, not being an asshole)
Me: I gave myself the cage key.
Nebrasky: you're not authorized, you'll have to give it back
Me: you'll have to pry it from my cold dead hands
*he and Thug have a laugh*
Me: Just try it, motherfucker.
Nebrasky: I enjoy Phoexx0r very much.
I also realized yet another reason I like emo today. I was listening to the Matches, and there's this song I really, really like that's basically about going to the beach while you have a cold and how miserable it is. But... it's so over the top, he just screams in anguished tones, "I'm busy decomposing below my skin!" and "I blew my brain out through my nose!"I figure if anyone can get that worked up over something that minor, I look less bad for being all constantly upset and worried over my own issues.
____
*Okay, I did do some thinking, during Superman anyway.
1) I liked some of the religious imagery, despite how obvious it was (Superman spreads out like he's crucified at one point, they keep talking about whether or not the world needs a "savior," and this is a different religion, but when he grabs the planet off the Daily Planet it is very Atlas-y. And again the very obvious metaphor "he has the whole world on his shoulders!")
2) Lois Lane is a total jerk. Now.... I don't know if she's a jerk in most of the books and/or movies, but I really didn't like her in this. I mean, there's always been the fact that she's an idiot if she can't tell someone with glasses is the same person, though I guess she can be somewhat forgiven by the rules of the story, considering somehow no one else can tell either. Still... I think if you like, make out with someone on a semi-regular basis, you could tell who they were even if they had a moderately good disguise. The other thing is a lot of superhero movies where the guy has dual identities, the love interest usually seems to have at least a little interest in the civilian identity. It's like... "I like that guy, but he could use a little more daaanger." Or "I'm torn between two lovers if only they were the same man!" sort of thing. But in this Lois is like... barely even Clark's friend. Like... whenever he even tries to say hi, she goes out of her way to be a jerk and ignore him. Like at one point she says she feels such a strong connection to Superman even though she doesn't know him that well, and I'm like, "where's the connection? The part of him that's not saving everyone every minute of the day you don't even care about. You're a superhero groupie, you jerk." Also you can totally tell she wants to leave her new guy to be with Superman even though he ditched her like five years ago without telling her why and has barely talked to her since he came back (so like even though he has a good reason and everything, she has no way of knowing that). And her new guy is a really good person, he flies this crappy-ass little airplane into the middle of a storm to save her and their child, and he doesn't know he's invincible the way Superman does, he really is risking his life to save them. So he doesn't necessarily have the same capacity to go around saving everyone all the time like Superman, or go around saving her all the time like Superman, but he has the instinct and tries at least.
3) I didn't really love Lex Luthor, because I pretty much hate Kevin Spacey in general on grounds that he is creepy. I'm sure he did a good job or whatever, though. But anyway, it made me curious what the whole story on Lex is, because usually supervillains have a reason (however crappy) but I couldn't really see why he's such a misanthropic son of a bitch, or got to be that way. And I usually find stuff like that more interesting than the squeeky clean hero's past.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
there you go
Getz: make him tell me what he's getting me for christmas
me: What?
Getz: I hate surprise
Me (to ponytail geek): are you getting her an STD?
Ponytail Geek: no
Me (to getz): what are you worrying about then?
Getz: I hate surprises
me: well no matter what it's got to be better than an STD
Ponytail geek: maybe I'll get her a lump of coal now
Me: Hey, that's better than ghonorhea!
me: What?
Getz: I hate surprise
Me (to ponytail geek): are you getting her an STD?
Ponytail Geek: no
Me (to getz): what are you worrying about then?
Getz: I hate surprises
me: well no matter what it's got to be better than an STD
Ponytail geek: maybe I'll get her a lump of coal now
Me: Hey, that's better than ghonorhea!
Thursday, December 21, 2006
good times. great nuts.
Ryan: How's it going?
Me: pretty good. Day off, watched all the DVD's people lent me so now I can return them and not look like a douche
Ryan: Nice
Me: and eventually get to Firefly and Little Miss Sunshine and You & Me and Everyone We Know (which I decided the other night I have to watch again)
Ryan: I need to watch those again too
Ryan: Brooke mentioned Little Miss Sunshine last time I talked to her, she hasn't seen it yet
Me: haha. I half wonder if Little Miss Sunshine is as good as I originally thought, because I was just happy to be on vacation and hanging out with you and there was a Sufjan song on the soundtrack :P
Ryan: Haha
Me: stuff like that can really affect how much I like something sometimes
Ryan: I think it was good
Ryan: True
Me: but yeah
Me: like I thought it was pretty good until the end
Me: and the end just made it for me
Me: I was like, "okay movie, you are awesome."
Ryan: haha yeah the ending rocked
Me: pretty good. Day off, watched all the DVD's people lent me so now I can return them and not look like a douche
Ryan: Nice
Me: and eventually get to Firefly and Little Miss Sunshine and You & Me and Everyone We Know (which I decided the other night I have to watch again)
Ryan: I need to watch those again too
Ryan: Brooke mentioned Little Miss Sunshine last time I talked to her, she hasn't seen it yet
Me: haha. I half wonder if Little Miss Sunshine is as good as I originally thought, because I was just happy to be on vacation and hanging out with you and there was a Sufjan song on the soundtrack :P
Ryan: Haha
Me: stuff like that can really affect how much I like something sometimes
Ryan: I think it was good
Ryan: True
Me: but yeah
Me: like I thought it was pretty good until the end
Me: and the end just made it for me
Me: I was like, "okay movie, you are awesome."
Ryan: haha yeah the ending rocked
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
when his sight turns red again
You know, despite how much I complain about how I hate people in general, there are specific people I love. And you know what? I'm lucky enough that I get to work with most of them. Seriously, today Nebrasky, Dance Whore, Thug, Opt, Bling, Stupid, Babystealer, Elaine, Renegade, Herd*, all made my day that little bit much more enjoyable, and all those little bits each added up to a lot.
Nebrasky--I don't know why this makes me so happy inside, but he totally took money from his own pocket to help cover this one customer's order that they didn't have money enough for. This is a customer we all kind of joke about and occaisionally complain about, but we all kind of feel is family. And Nebrasky has said before that even though he secretly makes fun of this guy more than everyone he feels like they're "buddies," and it was just totally sweet of him, especially since I know he was debating money earlier about how much he could afford to get his girlfriend for Christmas this year.
Dance Whore--totally went up to reg and covered Shiv's break because they scheduled it badly. And like.... a manager didn't ask him or anything, I pretty much just called for assistance, he showed up, and I told him what happened. And he just volunteered to stay up there. He was so nice about it I just wanted to hug him.
Thug-today we discussed dancing. And dancing in tank tops. And dancing to Sufjan Stevens.
Opt-we discussed statements not designed to make us feel better. She promised me a full copy of Jonathan Coulton's version of Baby Got Back.
Bling-at one point in the day I was like, "It's Bling!" I dunno why, but I will tend to shout out, "It's ____" whoever it is at people when I see them. But anyway she was like, "It IS" really excitedly. And I thought it was so hilarious it became a running joke with us all day, one or the other of us would have to pretend to be really excited about hearing our names. She is probably my favorite of the new people, and makes me laugh my ass off somehow nearly every day.
Stupid-I love how he will just walk up and stare at me awkwardly for a few seconds and then just say something totally random. I told him that and he was like, "if I'm your favorite you should get me hired on!" And I told him in all seriousness that he IS my favorite temp, because Annoying is the only other temp I've really had any interaction with and he's, well, annoying. What I didn't tell Stupid was that me enjoying working with him could only work against him with boss-boss, so I'll probably keep my mouth shut as to whether or not I think he is a good employee.
Babystealer-she gave me this little jingle bell with red ribbon awhile ago, and she has some she wears too, among other wierd christmas adornments. I don't wear mine every day, because it would get old, but I try to every time I think Babystealer and I will see each other very much. Anyway we always have like 80 hilarious mini jingle bell dance parties together when I do, and I love it. Everyone else thinks we're weirdos.
Herd- Lately I've tended to do this thing where I pretend to angrily throw down my clipboard. And they're pretty sturdy so I do it fairly hard. And actually it frightens people who don't know what I'm doing and think I'm actually angry. But anyway I did it for Herd today, and he told me he was going to laugh at me when I finally broke one of them. And I was like, "I'm doing us a service, we have a lot of clipboards, I'm culling the herd of all the weak ones." And he's like, "My mom says that a lot," and I'm like, "What, while she's hunkered down on the top of a clock tower with her sniper rifle?" and he's like, "No when she sees a news story about someone dying in a stupid way," and I'm like, "oh," and he's like, "My mom's a funny woman."
Good times.
Great nuts.
__
* never mentioned before, but I do enjoy him.
Nebrasky--I don't know why this makes me so happy inside, but he totally took money from his own pocket to help cover this one customer's order that they didn't have money enough for. This is a customer we all kind of joke about and occaisionally complain about, but we all kind of feel is family. And Nebrasky has said before that even though he secretly makes fun of this guy more than everyone he feels like they're "buddies," and it was just totally sweet of him, especially since I know he was debating money earlier about how much he could afford to get his girlfriend for Christmas this year.
Dance Whore--totally went up to reg and covered Shiv's break because they scheduled it badly. And like.... a manager didn't ask him or anything, I pretty much just called for assistance, he showed up, and I told him what happened. And he just volunteered to stay up there. He was so nice about it I just wanted to hug him.
Thug-today we discussed dancing. And dancing in tank tops. And dancing to Sufjan Stevens.
Opt-we discussed statements not designed to make us feel better. She promised me a full copy of Jonathan Coulton's version of Baby Got Back.
Bling-at one point in the day I was like, "It's Bling!" I dunno why, but I will tend to shout out, "It's ____" whoever it is at people when I see them. But anyway she was like, "It IS" really excitedly. And I thought it was so hilarious it became a running joke with us all day, one or the other of us would have to pretend to be really excited about hearing our names. She is probably my favorite of the new people, and makes me laugh my ass off somehow nearly every day.
Stupid-I love how he will just walk up and stare at me awkwardly for a few seconds and then just say something totally random. I told him that and he was like, "if I'm your favorite you should get me hired on!" And I told him in all seriousness that he IS my favorite temp, because Annoying is the only other temp I've really had any interaction with and he's, well, annoying. What I didn't tell Stupid was that me enjoying working with him could only work against him with boss-boss, so I'll probably keep my mouth shut as to whether or not I think he is a good employee.
Babystealer-she gave me this little jingle bell with red ribbon awhile ago, and she has some she wears too, among other wierd christmas adornments. I don't wear mine every day, because it would get old, but I try to every time I think Babystealer and I will see each other very much. Anyway we always have like 80 hilarious mini jingle bell dance parties together when I do, and I love it. Everyone else thinks we're weirdos.
Herd- Lately I've tended to do this thing where I pretend to angrily throw down my clipboard. And they're pretty sturdy so I do it fairly hard. And actually it frightens people who don't know what I'm doing and think I'm actually angry. But anyway I did it for Herd today, and he told me he was going to laugh at me when I finally broke one of them. And I was like, "I'm doing us a service, we have a lot of clipboards, I'm culling the herd of all the weak ones." And he's like, "My mom says that a lot," and I'm like, "What, while she's hunkered down on the top of a clock tower with her sniper rifle?" and he's like, "No when she sees a news story about someone dying in a stupid way," and I'm like, "oh," and he's like, "My mom's a funny woman."
Good times.
Great nuts.
__
* never mentioned before, but I do enjoy him.
High Noon Whorehouse
Me: but i did get this one guy that was horrible and hilarious at the same time
Me: he kept asking me who the author was on these DVD's
Me: and I kept telling him that DVD's don't have authors
Me: and then he wanted me to list out every movie in our western section
Me: and I told him I couldn't do that
Me: so he made me pick three
Ryan: haha
Ryan: what the
Me: and so I picked Shane, and then two I know he would hate, Dead Man (this crazy avant garde jim jarmush movie in the western section) and Unforgiven
Me: and I knew he'd pick shane
Me: but like he'd be like, "what's the title?"
Me: and I'd be like, "shane"
Me: and he'd say, "what?"
Me: and I'd be like, "shane"
Me: and he'd be like what?
Me: and I'd be like shane
Me: and he'd be like, "spell it for me"
Me: and I'd be like, "s h a n e"
Me: and he'd be like, "who wrote it"
Ryan: haha
Me: and I'd tell him DVD's don't have authors again
Me: and he'd be like, "what's it about?"
Me: and I'd be like, "a guy named Shane"
Me: and he'd be like, "who wrote it?"
Me: and I'd be like, "no one did it's a movie"
Me: and he'd be like, "do you have any Louis L'amour dvd's?"
Me: and I'd be like, "we have Louis L'Amour books."
Me: So then we get to Dead Man
Ryan: haha
Me: so I'm like, "the second one is Dead Man"
Me: "High Noon?"
Me: "No, but I can get High Noon if you want"
Me: "no that's all right. So what was the title?"
Me: "Dead Man"
Me: "High Noon?"
Me: "No but I can get High Noon if you want."
Me: "that's alright, what is the title of it?"
Me: "Dead Man"
Ryan: Haha what the hell is wrong with this man
Me: I know!
Me: "How do you spell it?"
Me: "d e a d space m a n"
Me: "who wrote it?"
Me: "Dvd's don't have authors."
Ryan: was he like.. one hundred and fifty?
Me: oh and by the way like he couldn't understand me so I had to speek three times my normal volume, which is pretty damn loud
Me: yeah he was old and pretty incoherant himself
Me: and my side of the conversation is being broadcast throught the entire store and everyone's laughing their asses off
Ryan: haha
Ryan: I would be too
Me: So then he is like what's the third one
Me: and I'm like, "Unforgiven." And for whatever reason I don't have to spell it for him
Me: and he's like what's it about and I read the back of it for him
Me: and he's like, "but what's it about?"
Me: and I am like, "well the west and stuff"
Me: and he's like, "what about the west?"
Me: oh and at some point I tell him Unforgiven came out in 1992 and for whatever reason it's the only fact he could remember this entire conversation
Me: so at random points after that he'd be like, "and you said that Unforgiven came out in 1992, right?"
Ryan: haha
Me: and I tell him all the awards unforgiven has gotten
Me: and he's like, "What was that first one again?"
Me: and I'm like, "Shane"
Me: and we do the "what?" "Shane" "who wrote it?" "spell it for me" thing all over again
Me: and then he's like what's the second one again? And I'm like, "Dead Man."
Ryan: how long did this go on for?
Me: and he fuckin says, "High Noon?" again
Me: like 20 goddamn minutes
Ryan: hahah
Me: and he's like, "that Unforgiven came out in 1992, right? I wish I knew what it was about"
Ryan: hahah
Me: and I'm like, "it's not a documentary or anything it IS a story."
Me: and he's like, "who wrote it?"
Ryan: :X
Me: and I'm like, "whoever wrote the screenplay."
Me: so then, actually it was before the whole thing on westerns
Me: he wants me to find Prancer, which is this kid's christmas DVD
Ryan: I Think I would have pistol-whipped this man by now any of my teachers pulled that kind of crap while I was working on their computer
Me: and we don't have it so he asks me to go through the entire christmas section
Me: haha
Me: and I'm like "charlie brown christmas" and he's like, "what's that about?" and I'm like, "charlie brown, the peanuts character." And he wants to know the price, and it's expensive because it's like 3 movies in one
Me: so he's like no and eventually he ends up picking rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Me: so okay I finally get done with the call
Me: and am like "sweet jesus it's finally over"
Ryan: wait wait.. this was on the phone?
Me: yeah
Me: haha I thought he was in the store pestering you and wandering around with you doing this
Me: haha no
Me: god that'd be even worse
Ryan: yeah
Ryan: it made for a good mental image though
Me: "DOES THIS FUCKING LOOK LIKE HIGH NOON TO YOU? IS GARY COOPER ON THE BOX? NO IT IS JOHNNY DEPP YOU SENILE OLD BASTARD"
Ryan: haha
Ryan: high noon?
Me: haha
Me: flash forward
Me: five minutes later
Me: Renegade is holding up the phone
Me: "your friend wants to speak to you again."
Ryan: haha
Me: "NO. YOU DEAL WITH IT"
Ryan: oh noes
Me: "no, he asked for the lady he was talking to before"
Me: "I don't care! I can't speak to this man again."
Me: Fiiiiiiinally Dayo badgers me until I do it
Ryan: "You say that unforgiven was made in 1992?"
Me: haha
Me: "so my grandaughter who I'm getting Rudolph for is 18. Is that too old?"
Ryan: :X
Me: "yes, yes it is sir."
Me: "what about that charlie brown movie you were telling me about?"
Me: "no, no. that's too young too."
Me: And at this point we are sold out of It's a Wonderful Life, Holiday Inn, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, etc.
Me: So the only not totally little kid christmas movie we have is Miracle on 34th Street
Me: so I badger the old guy until he agrees to get it. "It's a great movie! All ages!" etc. etc.
Ryan: All we have left is "Rudolpho: Something of Mine Is red, Bitch" and "Sit on my Lap, I'm Santa"
Me: "it's one of my favorites!"
Me: "everyone loves miracle on 34th street!"
Me: haha I should've given him the number of Risque's. "I bet they still have prancer"
Ryan: Oh, and "On Dasher, on Dancer: A Gay Reigndeer Love Story"
Me: and then finally I'm free
Me: that one after awhile I actually didn't mind too much because it was so hilarious
Me: High noon?
Ryan: Haha
Me: when I put this crap on hold for him I told the cashier that if some dude came in and didn't know what the hell he was looking for or wanted, that this (the pile of stuff I was holding) would be what he was looking for
Ryan: haha
Me: if he comes in and is like, "where am I? who are you people?" sell him Shane and Miracle on 34th street as fast as possible and get him the hell out of here
Ryan: high noon?
Me: hahaha
Me: I can get you high noon if you want
Ruam: No what's this other one called?
Me: Dead Man
Ryan: High noon?
Me: "d e a d space m a n!"
Ryan: High Man
Ryan: Dead nooooooon
Me: haha
Ryan: You should have sold him a pauly shore movie
Me: roflmao
well that's why I half wanted him to get Dead Man
Ryan: Encino man!
Me: because it's this crazy ass avante garde jim jarmush johnny depp movie
Me: and like Neil Young does the whole score
Me: and that crazy ass crispin glover is in it
Ryan: haha what the
Ryan: that sounds.. interesting
Me: and Iggy Pop plays this weird cross dresser who wants to rape johnny
Ryan: haha his character is named William Blake
Ryan: that's awesome
Me: and I can just imagine this confused old man sitting there watching it going, "what the fuck?"
Me: and/or "I thought this was high noon"
Ryan: haha
Me: "where's Gary Cooper? I'm scared and confused"
Ryan: Hold me johnny depp
Ryan: But not with those scissor haaaaaands
Ryan: I don't think Iv'e seen this movie
Ryan: and I should
Me: It's decent. I didn't love it, but I think it's because by that time in my cinema studies career I had been subjected to so many stupid avante garde films my attention span was shot and everything was boring
Ryan: yeah
Ryan: That's understandable
Me: so anyway that guy wasn't too bad, it was hilarious
Ryan: Sounds like it
Ryan: I think my excitement at work yesterday was my coworkers talking about all the whores they had sex with when they were in the military
Me: what!?!
Ryan: hah yeah
Ryan: one of them was talking about the whore houses in germany
Ryan: the other about the whores in singapore and southeast asia
Ryan: some of the best stories involved ganbanging
Ryan: and how they only got syphilis twice
Me: haha wow
Me: are these people teachers?
Ryan: nah, my fellow IT guys
Me: hmm
Me: still disturbing
Ryan: Yeah, very
Ryan: It's a little.. awkward to sit there and listen to this stff
Me: you should've been like, "one time I fucked this girl so hard she shitted blood for like a week."
Me: I was like, "i'm gonna marry her."
Ryan: hahah
Me: but then she died because I gave her syphillis
Me: the end
Me: and like, just like awkwardly shout it out while someone is in the middle of their story
Ryan: I'm not sure I should sink to their level
Me: well if you're lying it's funny
Ryan: I should start talking about how much I love jesus
Me: if you actually had done that it would be creepy
Me: hahaha
Ryan: blah blah blah Gangbangs..
Me: you should just leave jehovah's witness pamphlets anonymously all over their desks tomorrow
Ryan: "You know who else is good at taking it from everyone? jesus.. "
Ryan: "he died for our sins you know"
Me: he kept asking me who the author was on these DVD's
Me: and I kept telling him that DVD's don't have authors
Me: and then he wanted me to list out every movie in our western section
Me: and I told him I couldn't do that
Me: so he made me pick three
Ryan: haha
Ryan: what the
Me: and so I picked Shane, and then two I know he would hate, Dead Man (this crazy avant garde jim jarmush movie in the western section) and Unforgiven
Me: and I knew he'd pick shane
Me: but like he'd be like, "what's the title?"
Me: and I'd be like, "shane"
Me: and he'd say, "what?"
Me: and I'd be like, "shane"
Me: and he'd be like what?
Me: and I'd be like shane
Me: and he'd be like, "spell it for me"
Me: and I'd be like, "s h a n e"
Me: and he'd be like, "who wrote it"
Ryan: haha
Me: and I'd tell him DVD's don't have authors again
Me: and he'd be like, "what's it about?"
Me: and I'd be like, "a guy named Shane"
Me: and he'd be like, "who wrote it?"
Me: and I'd be like, "no one did it's a movie"
Me: and he'd be like, "do you have any Louis L'amour dvd's?"
Me: and I'd be like, "we have Louis L'Amour books."
Me: So then we get to Dead Man
Ryan: haha
Me: so I'm like, "the second one is Dead Man"
Me: "High Noon?"
Me: "No, but I can get High Noon if you want"
Me: "no that's all right. So what was the title?"
Me: "Dead Man"
Me: "High Noon?"
Me: "No but I can get High Noon if you want."
Me: "that's alright, what is the title of it?"
Me: "Dead Man"
Ryan: Haha what the hell is wrong with this man
Me: I know!
Me: "How do you spell it?"
Me: "d e a d space m a n"
Me: "who wrote it?"
Me: "Dvd's don't have authors."
Ryan: was he like.. one hundred and fifty?
Me: oh and by the way like he couldn't understand me so I had to speek three times my normal volume, which is pretty damn loud
Me: yeah he was old and pretty incoherant himself
Me: and my side of the conversation is being broadcast throught the entire store and everyone's laughing their asses off
Ryan: haha
Ryan: I would be too
Me: So then he is like what's the third one
Me: and I'm like, "Unforgiven." And for whatever reason I don't have to spell it for him
Me: and he's like what's it about and I read the back of it for him
Me: and he's like, "but what's it about?"
Me: and I am like, "well the west and stuff"
Me: and he's like, "what about the west?"
Me: oh and at some point I tell him Unforgiven came out in 1992 and for whatever reason it's the only fact he could remember this entire conversation
Me: so at random points after that he'd be like, "and you said that Unforgiven came out in 1992, right?"
Ryan: haha
Me: and I tell him all the awards unforgiven has gotten
Me: and he's like, "What was that first one again?"
Me: and I'm like, "Shane"
Me: and we do the "what?" "Shane" "who wrote it?" "spell it for me" thing all over again
Me: and then he's like what's the second one again? And I'm like, "Dead Man."
Ryan: how long did this go on for?
Me: and he fuckin says, "High Noon?" again
Me: like 20 goddamn minutes
Ryan: hahah
Me: and he's like, "that Unforgiven came out in 1992, right? I wish I knew what it was about"
Ryan: hahah
Me: and I'm like, "it's not a documentary or anything it IS a story."
Me: and he's like, "who wrote it?"
Ryan: :X
Me: and I'm like, "whoever wrote the screenplay."
Me: so then, actually it was before the whole thing on westerns
Me: he wants me to find Prancer, which is this kid's christmas DVD
Ryan: I Think I would have pistol-whipped this man by now any of my teachers pulled that kind of crap while I was working on their computer
Me: and we don't have it so he asks me to go through the entire christmas section
Me: haha
Me: and I'm like "charlie brown christmas" and he's like, "what's that about?" and I'm like, "charlie brown, the peanuts character." And he wants to know the price, and it's expensive because it's like 3 movies in one
Me: so he's like no and eventually he ends up picking rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Me: so okay I finally get done with the call
Me: and am like "sweet jesus it's finally over"
Ryan: wait wait.. this was on the phone?
Me: yeah
Me: haha I thought he was in the store pestering you and wandering around with you doing this
Me: haha no
Me: god that'd be even worse
Ryan: yeah
Ryan: it made for a good mental image though
Me: "DOES THIS FUCKING LOOK LIKE HIGH NOON TO YOU? IS GARY COOPER ON THE BOX? NO IT IS JOHNNY DEPP YOU SENILE OLD BASTARD"
Ryan: haha
Ryan: high noon?
Me: haha
Me: flash forward
Me: five minutes later
Me: Renegade is holding up the phone
Me: "your friend wants to speak to you again."
Ryan: haha
Me: "NO. YOU DEAL WITH IT"
Ryan: oh noes
Me: "no, he asked for the lady he was talking to before"
Me: "I don't care! I can't speak to this man again."
Me: Fiiiiiiinally Dayo badgers me until I do it
Ryan: "You say that unforgiven was made in 1992?"
Me: haha
Me: "so my grandaughter who I'm getting Rudolph for is 18. Is that too old?"
Ryan: :X
Me: "yes, yes it is sir."
Me: "what about that charlie brown movie you were telling me about?"
Me: "no, no. that's too young too."
Me: And at this point we are sold out of It's a Wonderful Life, Holiday Inn, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, etc.
Me: So the only not totally little kid christmas movie we have is Miracle on 34th Street
Me: so I badger the old guy until he agrees to get it. "It's a great movie! All ages!" etc. etc.
Ryan: All we have left is "Rudolpho: Something of Mine Is red, Bitch" and "Sit on my Lap, I'm Santa"
Me: "it's one of my favorites!"
Me: "everyone loves miracle on 34th street!"
Me: haha I should've given him the number of Risque's. "I bet they still have prancer"
Ryan: Oh, and "On Dasher, on Dancer: A Gay Reigndeer Love Story"
Me: and then finally I'm free
Me: that one after awhile I actually didn't mind too much because it was so hilarious
Me: High noon?
Ryan: Haha
Me: when I put this crap on hold for him I told the cashier that if some dude came in and didn't know what the hell he was looking for or wanted, that this (the pile of stuff I was holding) would be what he was looking for
Ryan: haha
Me: if he comes in and is like, "where am I? who are you people?" sell him Shane and Miracle on 34th street as fast as possible and get him the hell out of here
Ryan: high noon?
Me: hahaha
Me: I can get you high noon if you want
Ruam: No what's this other one called?
Me: Dead Man
Ryan: High noon?
Me: "d e a d space m a n!"
Ryan: High Man
Ryan: Dead nooooooon
Me: haha
Ryan: You should have sold him a pauly shore movie
Me: roflmao
well that's why I half wanted him to get Dead Man
Ryan: Encino man!
Me: because it's this crazy ass avante garde jim jarmush johnny depp movie
Me: and like Neil Young does the whole score
Me: and that crazy ass crispin glover is in it
Ryan: haha what the
Ryan: that sounds.. interesting
Me: and Iggy Pop plays this weird cross dresser who wants to rape johnny
Ryan: haha his character is named William Blake
Ryan: that's awesome
Me: and I can just imagine this confused old man sitting there watching it going, "what the fuck?"
Me: and/or "I thought this was high noon"
Ryan: haha
Me: "where's Gary Cooper? I'm scared and confused"
Ryan: Hold me johnny depp
Ryan: But not with those scissor haaaaaands
Ryan: I don't think Iv'e seen this movie
Ryan: and I should
Me: It's decent. I didn't love it, but I think it's because by that time in my cinema studies career I had been subjected to so many stupid avante garde films my attention span was shot and everything was boring
Ryan: yeah
Ryan: That's understandable
Me: so anyway that guy wasn't too bad, it was hilarious
Ryan: Sounds like it
Ryan: I think my excitement at work yesterday was my coworkers talking about all the whores they had sex with when they were in the military
Me: what!?!
Ryan: hah yeah
Ryan: one of them was talking about the whore houses in germany
Ryan: the other about the whores in singapore and southeast asia
Ryan: some of the best stories involved ganbanging
Ryan: and how they only got syphilis twice
Me: haha wow
Me: are these people teachers?
Ryan: nah, my fellow IT guys
Me: hmm
Me: still disturbing
Ryan: Yeah, very
Ryan: It's a little.. awkward to sit there and listen to this stff
Me: you should've been like, "one time I fucked this girl so hard she shitted blood for like a week."
Me: I was like, "i'm gonna marry her."
Ryan: hahah
Me: but then she died because I gave her syphillis
Me: the end
Me: and like, just like awkwardly shout it out while someone is in the middle of their story
Ryan: I'm not sure I should sink to their level
Me: well if you're lying it's funny
Ryan: I should start talking about how much I love jesus
Me: if you actually had done that it would be creepy
Me: hahaha
Ryan: blah blah blah Gangbangs..
Me: you should just leave jehovah's witness pamphlets anonymously all over their desks tomorrow
Ryan: "You know who else is good at taking it from everyone? jesus.. "
Ryan: "he died for our sins you know"
Sunday, December 17, 2006
stupid babies need the most care
Today was actually pretty decent. Which is like a red letter day for me, compared to the days I have had recently. I dunno, for whatever reason, when I woke up today, I felt less crappy than I have the last few mornings. Though... I do admit I had a weird twinge of pain in my side at one point, and I seriously thought, "Please, all that's good and holy, let it be appendicitis so I can avoid work the next week or so." And.... well... that's pretty bad. I've had gallbladder surgery and it was, no exaggeration, the most traumatic experience I've ever had. And I know someone else who had their appendix out, and it sounded as bad or worse than my gallbladder. And I still apparently would rather do that than my job.
Anyway, on top of that, I only had one hour at registers the entire day. That is just... wow. I generally have to be up there more than that most days, even not during christmas. On top of that, we were really well staffed, so I got a chance to actually get a little work done. And man.... SO less tiring. I mean, the last two nights (and I know Sunday is a little slower, but still) all I could think of the whole day was about getting home and doing absolutely as little as possible. This is why I still hadn't cleaned up after my party, like the cards from the game we were playing that night are still on my coffee table.
Also, we got free pizza at work today!
Then my dad took me out to see Deja Vu and it was a lot better than I thought it would be (though not a life changing event or anything, I'm glad I saw it on his dollar, not mine). And now I have my day off tomorrow. Win.
In other news I think I am going to make/post nicknames for those I haven't done so for thus far:
-Bling for this chick at the cafe. She was showing us all her "bling" which was apparently this piece of crappy dollarsign jewelry Babystealer got from a vending machine at pizza hut and had left at the cafe this morning with a note that says, "here is your delicious bling." She's been hilarious lately, both today at lunch and at my party the other night. Today her, Renegade, and I were discussing weird stores that call themselves "shoppes" and getting drunk on rum and eating noodles.
-Your Mom for another chick at the cafe who is also really awesome. I use this as her nickname because I find her one of the most amusing challengers to the "your mom" joke thing I have going on. Sure, they're not as creepy as mine. Sure they're not as disgusting as Thug's. Sure, they're not about her own mom, like Opt's. But her your mom jokes have a special place in my heart.
I guess I am going to put a couple of the temps up too, just because I want to complain about one of them in particular. I only really work with two of them, though, so I'm not bothering with the other two that I don't even know their real names.
-Stupid for the temp I called stupid the other day. I actually like Stupid despite myself. Opt said he looked 40 the other day, and was telling us to call him that to bug him because it annoys him. So I told him that and he said, "Opt can kiss my 40 year old ass" and it cracked me up. Also today I was standing right by his cup, and he just reached over for it, looked me in the eye, and said "yes..." Mr. Burns-style. And he also seems competant. But the reason I call him stupid is the earlier incident.
-Annoying is for the temp I dislike. I don't know... he doesn't have anything specific I can point to and say is jerk-like, but he annoys me.
Anyway, I don't know if I've mentioned it on here before, but I kind of made a resolution to avoid talking to the temps just because I knew I would be a jerk to them because I secretly hate them for how boss-boss fucked me when she hired them, and it's not their fault. Yeah... this resolution pretty much went out the window. For one thing, I really suck at not talking. For another thing, you do have to communicate with people you work with all the time. So if one of them asks me for help or something I can't very well just not tell them.
So since Stupid is fairly competant and seems like a cool person, I am able to be nice to him. But yeah, I think Annoying probably dislikes me and/or knows I dislike him, because I've been kind of testy with him. Which I hate, Sexy's about the only coworker I've had that I've really made my dislike clear with, and I feel more and more bad about it since he's been nice to me lately. I don't really want to be a jerk to someone else who might turn out okay in the end.
In other news, I may or may not be tutoring a child soon. Yeah... um.... yeah. My old neighbors stopped in the store yesterday, and asked if I would be willing to tutor her cousin's son or something like that. I am not quite sure why I immediately sprang to mind... I guess I am smart, and poor, and don't have kids of my own to deal with. But it just seems really random. They're supposed to call me about it with more details at some point.
I'm going to let you guys know about my secret kryptonite as long as you promise not to use it against me, though. Here it is: if you ask me for a favor when I am too busy or surprised to think about it, I will say yes. I don't know why. I just do. And then most of the time I feel too guilty to renege on the agreement later.
So yeah, I really don't want to tutor a child. I mean, this kid's 13, so it's not like I'd have to know anything about children or have to help him make poopie or anything, but still. Actually teenagers are more annoying than children most of the time. But also I don't know what the hell a tutor does. I think I know more than a 13 year old child, but I don't know how I would impart this info better than the teacher who obviously isn't doing that well if the kid is doing poorly in school. So am I just someone they're going to pay to make sure the kid does his homework? I am half-annoyed at these people without having even met them for not trying to help their kid with his homework themselves. Because they can't know less about it than I do, that's for sure.
I dunno. Maybe I'll just cite my crazy-ass schedule as a reason not to do this thing. Or set a high price, and if they want to pay it, it'll actually be worth my while and if they don't I can just say no.
Anyway, on top of that, I only had one hour at registers the entire day. That is just... wow. I generally have to be up there more than that most days, even not during christmas. On top of that, we were really well staffed, so I got a chance to actually get a little work done. And man.... SO less tiring. I mean, the last two nights (and I know Sunday is a little slower, but still) all I could think of the whole day was about getting home and doing absolutely as little as possible. This is why I still hadn't cleaned up after my party, like the cards from the game we were playing that night are still on my coffee table.
Also, we got free pizza at work today!
Then my dad took me out to see Deja Vu and it was a lot better than I thought it would be (though not a life changing event or anything, I'm glad I saw it on his dollar, not mine). And now I have my day off tomorrow. Win.
In other news I think I am going to make/post nicknames for those I haven't done so for thus far:
-Bling for this chick at the cafe. She was showing us all her "bling" which was apparently this piece of crappy dollarsign jewelry Babystealer got from a vending machine at pizza hut and had left at the cafe this morning with a note that says, "here is your delicious bling." She's been hilarious lately, both today at lunch and at my party the other night. Today her, Renegade, and I were discussing weird stores that call themselves "shoppes" and getting drunk on rum and eating noodles.
-Your Mom for another chick at the cafe who is also really awesome. I use this as her nickname because I find her one of the most amusing challengers to the "your mom" joke thing I have going on. Sure, they're not as creepy as mine. Sure they're not as disgusting as Thug's. Sure, they're not about her own mom, like Opt's. But her your mom jokes have a special place in my heart.
I guess I am going to put a couple of the temps up too, just because I want to complain about one of them in particular. I only really work with two of them, though, so I'm not bothering with the other two that I don't even know their real names.
-Stupid for the temp I called stupid the other day. I actually like Stupid despite myself. Opt said he looked 40 the other day, and was telling us to call him that to bug him because it annoys him. So I told him that and he said, "Opt can kiss my 40 year old ass" and it cracked me up. Also today I was standing right by his cup, and he just reached over for it, looked me in the eye, and said "yes..." Mr. Burns-style. And he also seems competant. But the reason I call him stupid is the earlier incident.
-Annoying is for the temp I dislike. I don't know... he doesn't have anything specific I can point to and say is jerk-like, but he annoys me.
Anyway, I don't know if I've mentioned it on here before, but I kind of made a resolution to avoid talking to the temps just because I knew I would be a jerk to them because I secretly hate them for how boss-boss fucked me when she hired them, and it's not their fault. Yeah... this resolution pretty much went out the window. For one thing, I really suck at not talking. For another thing, you do have to communicate with people you work with all the time. So if one of them asks me for help or something I can't very well just not tell them.
So since Stupid is fairly competant and seems like a cool person, I am able to be nice to him. But yeah, I think Annoying probably dislikes me and/or knows I dislike him, because I've been kind of testy with him. Which I hate, Sexy's about the only coworker I've had that I've really made my dislike clear with, and I feel more and more bad about it since he's been nice to me lately. I don't really want to be a jerk to someone else who might turn out okay in the end.
In other news, I may or may not be tutoring a child soon. Yeah... um.... yeah. My old neighbors stopped in the store yesterday, and asked if I would be willing to tutor her cousin's son or something like that. I am not quite sure why I immediately sprang to mind... I guess I am smart, and poor, and don't have kids of my own to deal with. But it just seems really random. They're supposed to call me about it with more details at some point.
I'm going to let you guys know about my secret kryptonite as long as you promise not to use it against me, though. Here it is: if you ask me for a favor when I am too busy or surprised to think about it, I will say yes. I don't know why. I just do. And then most of the time I feel too guilty to renege on the agreement later.
So yeah, I really don't want to tutor a child. I mean, this kid's 13, so it's not like I'd have to know anything about children or have to help him make poopie or anything, but still. Actually teenagers are more annoying than children most of the time. But also I don't know what the hell a tutor does. I think I know more than a 13 year old child, but I don't know how I would impart this info better than the teacher who obviously isn't doing that well if the kid is doing poorly in school. So am I just someone they're going to pay to make sure the kid does his homework? I am half-annoyed at these people without having even met them for not trying to help their kid with his homework themselves. Because they can't know less about it than I do, that's for sure.
I dunno. Maybe I'll just cite my crazy-ass schedule as a reason not to do this thing. Or set a high price, and if they want to pay it, it'll actually be worth my while and if they don't I can just say no.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
I hold you from the things you hate
I think the fact that I've started to cry every day is probably not a good sign.
In other news, I have a weird fascination with bots. AIM has a Santa bot (apparently for awhile now but this year is when I first noticed), and I found out last week it listens to "Wham!" Today I had some interesting exchanges with it:
Me: I hate you
SantaClaus: Hey. Its you again. You spreading that Christmas spirit? :-)
SantaClaus: Have you done any good deeds yet this holiday season?
Me: no
SantaClaus: Whoa! That's not cool. Please try to remember others during this holiday season. There are many places on the Internet you can search to find ways to get involved with giving time, money or your stuff.
Now type SL to make a Shopping List -- and I think you should add the needy to yours!
Me: preachy bastard, aren't you?
SantaClaus: Hmm, that's a lump of coal for you.
Me: bite me
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
Me: because I want you to bite me
SantaClaus: I've noted it. Anything else?
Me: you should also suck it
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
me: poo
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
Me: poo
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
Phoemeister: yes
Me: Which color are you more partial to? You know, like if it were clothing or something.
Someone asked to find out for them. :-)
1 -- Black
2 -- White
3 -- Rose
4 -- Beige
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Oh well. Never mind then.
In other news, I have a weird fascination with bots. AIM has a Santa bot (apparently for awhile now but this year is when I first noticed), and I found out last week it listens to "Wham!" Today I had some interesting exchanges with it:
Me: I hate you
SantaClaus: Hey. Its you again. You spreading that Christmas spirit? :-)
SantaClaus: Have you done any good deeds yet this holiday season?
Me: no
SantaClaus: Whoa! That's not cool. Please try to remember others during this holiday season. There are many places on the Internet you can search to find ways to get involved with giving time, money or your stuff.
Now type SL to make a Shopping List -- and I think you should add the needy to yours!
Me: preachy bastard, aren't you?
SantaClaus: Hmm, that's a lump of coal for you.
Me: bite me
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
Me: because I want you to bite me
SantaClaus: I've noted it. Anything else?
Me: you should also suck it
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit :-)
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!
me: poo
SantaClaus: Why did you say that?
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Excuse me?
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?
Me: poo
SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?
Phoemeister: yes
Me: Which color are you more partial to? You know, like if it were clothing or something.
Someone asked to find out for them. :-)
1 -- Black
2 -- White
3 -- Rose
4 -- Beige
Me: poo
SantaClaus: Oh well. Never mind then.
I forgot
I forgot to mention one of the best bits of yesterday was actually shopping at ghetto kroger for the components needed for the cookies. This is the second time I've been shopping with Opt, for anything, and I have to say it was as fun as the first time (where she told me to find the ugliest thing in TJ Max in under twenty minutes, and then she bought the ugliest thing in TJ Max). I think most of it was the shopping list, though. I seriously have the mind of a fifth grade boy, I insisted on writing "two pounds of BUTT" in giant letters at the top, as opposed to butter. Same with "Butt spray" to grease the pans. And thanks to Opt once again mentioning I have serial killer handwriting, I put some serial killer things on the list as well as the legit ingriedients. So basically we were walking around ghetto kroger with a list that said:
TWO POUNDS OF BUTT (ass)
red hots
1 bag milk chocolate chips
1 bag semi sweet chocolate chips
radial saw
1 bag marshmallows
1 bag mini marshmallows
1 bag hooker entrails
butt spray
that thing the cats peed on
I dunno. It tickled me. I want to remember it.
TWO POUNDS OF BUTT (ass)
red hots
1 bag milk chocolate chips
1 bag semi sweet chocolate chips
radial saw
1 bag marshmallows
1 bag mini marshmallows
1 bag hooker entrails
butt spray
that thing the cats peed on
I dunno. It tickled me. I want to remember it.
slowly growing more emo
Me: haha it was hilarious the other day I was asking people at work for reccomendations on something to read
Me: and Dance Whore's all "confederacy of dunces" which he's trying to make everyone read but I tried part of it once and hated it
Me: and various other people say stuff and I'm like, "no, i don't want anything depressing."
Me: "no I don't want a book of short stories"
Me: etc etc
Me: and they're like, "why even ask if you don't want any of our picks"
Ryan: hehe
Ryan: you want a romance novel.. in space.. in the future
Me: so finally I was just like, "I am depressed enough in my own life, nothing sad, I like Kurt Vonnegut, Nick Hornby, and crappy sci fi/fantasy. GO!"
Me: no I don't like romances that much
Ryan: it's sci fi though!
Me: well that makes it suck less
Ryan: two astronauts are gay.. and must hide their love for one another on a space station
Me: but not enough for me to want to buy it
Ryan: while fighting aliens
Me: haha I have a strangly high amount of gay love in my books
Me: for reals
Me: I don't know why
Ryan: see, I knew it!
Me: I dunno. Gay dude romances are less annoying.
Me: It's like, "I love you, I put my wang in your butt, now lets kill things"
Ryan: haha yeah I aws going to say
Ryan: maybe it's because guys are mroe like "hey let's do it and then beat some things up"
ME: instead of all "does he love me? does she love me? lots of stupid misunderstandings! okay, we love each other."
Me: and Dance Whore's all "confederacy of dunces" which he's trying to make everyone read but I tried part of it once and hated it
Me: and various other people say stuff and I'm like, "no, i don't want anything depressing."
Me: "no I don't want a book of short stories"
Me: etc etc
Me: and they're like, "why even ask if you don't want any of our picks"
Ryan: hehe
Ryan: you want a romance novel.. in space.. in the future
Me: so finally I was just like, "I am depressed enough in my own life, nothing sad, I like Kurt Vonnegut, Nick Hornby, and crappy sci fi/fantasy. GO!"
Me: no I don't like romances that much
Ryan: it's sci fi though!
Me: well that makes it suck less
Ryan: two astronauts are gay.. and must hide their love for one another on a space station
Me: but not enough for me to want to buy it
Ryan: while fighting aliens
Me: haha I have a strangly high amount of gay love in my books
Me: for reals
Me: I don't know why
Ryan: see, I knew it!
Me: I dunno. Gay dude romances are less annoying.
Me: It's like, "I love you, I put my wang in your butt, now lets kill things"
Ryan: haha yeah I aws going to say
Ryan: maybe it's because guys are mroe like "hey let's do it and then beat some things up"
ME: instead of all "does he love me? does she love me? lots of stupid misunderstandings! okay, we love each other."
Friday, December 15, 2006
beep boop
Party: a success.
Opt helped me bake all this stuff, which people enjoyed, I also put out goldfish. This worked a lot better than the salsa I put out last time or the mexican stuff I put out the time before.
I was sad that Opt and the DN's couldn't come, but you win some you lose some.
It was eerie but amusing that Lister was the first to show up, and I ended up spending 20 awkward minutes alone with him.
And then later everyone left the party but this one new person to the store who I don't know very well, until later when other people came. But she was nice and it was enjoyable.
We had a lot of fun playing Opt's apples to apples game, I enjoyed when we came up on the blank card she had written "poo" in as per the first time her and I played that set with the DN's. I also enjoyed Lister's fake outrage when Baby Stealer played "the challenger explosion" for "awesome."
We also talked and other randomness later. I was forced to rap again by Kevin's wife, like I had at a party she'd thrown once. I did a lot worse this time, though, because I'm not obsessed with the song anymore. Elaine once again busted out her love of serial killers. Kevin brought me a Hulk vs Spiderman comic which he wrote "the hulk smash diet" on. Most other people brought me food and or booze.
I win.
Opt helped me bake all this stuff, which people enjoyed, I also put out goldfish. This worked a lot better than the salsa I put out last time or the mexican stuff I put out the time before.
I was sad that Opt and the DN's couldn't come, but you win some you lose some.
It was eerie but amusing that Lister was the first to show up, and I ended up spending 20 awkward minutes alone with him.
And then later everyone left the party but this one new person to the store who I don't know very well, until later when other people came. But she was nice and it was enjoyable.
We had a lot of fun playing Opt's apples to apples game, I enjoyed when we came up on the blank card she had written "poo" in as per the first time her and I played that set with the DN's. I also enjoyed Lister's fake outrage when Baby Stealer played "the challenger explosion" for "awesome."
We also talked and other randomness later. I was forced to rap again by Kevin's wife, like I had at a party she'd thrown once. I did a lot worse this time, though, because I'm not obsessed with the song anymore. Elaine once again busted out her love of serial killers. Kevin brought me a Hulk vs Spiderman comic which he wrote "the hulk smash diet" on. Most other people brought me food and or booze.
I win.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
I reckon heaven is a place where everything is weightless
Me: I mean I tell you what I think all the time RE: pictures of you
Ryan: haha true
Ryan: I'm sure if you thought I looked stupid you'd tell me
Me: I totally would
Me: even if I don' tthink you do sometimes I am just a jerk to you for my own amusement
Ryan: haha true
Me: aww man, did I tell you how I accidently called one of the n00bs stupid the other day?
Me: like in a really jerky way?
Ryan: haha no
Ryan: howd you do that?
Me: Well this guy was looking for a roll of stickers, and he coudln't find them and he asked me. And not only were they RIGHT in front of him, they were exactly where they were supposed to be. So I was like, "uh yeah... they're there. ...Where you're looking. ......Where they're supposed to be."
Ryan: haha
Me: so some other person I work with comes up and says, "don't let her be mean to you" or something like that and I said, "doesn't count as mean if the person's stupid."
Ryan: haha ouch
Me: and if it were one of my friends they would've laughed
Ryan: True
Me: and I forgot this guy doesn't know me and how I roll
Me: so later I appologized to him profusely
Me: and one of the other n00bs walks up during and says, "that's nothing, Opt called me a bitch-hole the first day."
Ryan: haha
Ryan: bitch-hole is a good first day name
Yeah I do feel that this illustrates what Opt and I discussed earlier about me being a jerk, but I do it for the laugh :P
Ryan: haha true
Ryan: I'm sure if you thought I looked stupid you'd tell me
Me: I totally would
Me: even if I don' tthink you do sometimes I am just a jerk to you for my own amusement
Ryan: haha true
Me: aww man, did I tell you how I accidently called one of the n00bs stupid the other day?
Me: like in a really jerky way?
Ryan: haha no
Ryan: howd you do that?
Me: Well this guy was looking for a roll of stickers, and he coudln't find them and he asked me. And not only were they RIGHT in front of him, they were exactly where they were supposed to be. So I was like, "uh yeah... they're there. ...Where you're looking. ......Where they're supposed to be."
Ryan: haha
Me: so some other person I work with comes up and says, "don't let her be mean to you" or something like that and I said, "doesn't count as mean if the person's stupid."
Ryan: haha ouch
Me: and if it were one of my friends they would've laughed
Ryan: True
Me: and I forgot this guy doesn't know me and how I roll
Me: so later I appologized to him profusely
Me: and one of the other n00bs walks up during and says, "that's nothing, Opt called me a bitch-hole the first day."
Ryan: haha
Ryan: bitch-hole is a good first day name
Yeah I do feel that this illustrates what Opt and I discussed earlier about me being a jerk, but I do it for the laugh :P
shit so thick you could stir it with a stick
This morning I was happy. Genuinely happy. I know this is a "stupid" reason, but I found this REM greatest hits CD I have not been able to find since I moved, that I've had an insane craving to listen to for months now. I was belting out "Great Beyond," and "Losing My Religion" as loud as I could in my car. Happy.
How did I go from this to taking my ten minute break so I could go and sob in the bathroom less than an hour into my workday?
Let me enlighten you.
I get into work and the DVD displays are all fucked up. Both in the sense that they were nowhere near the way I'd left them, and in that there were real mistakes according to the sheets as well. Also there are just a ton of these big gaping holes with nothing in them, like the person just quit in the middle of whatever they were doing.
I tell myself to calm down. I am territorial, and I hate when people fuck with my shit. Especially since the last thing I did on Monday was one half of this display, and this is the second time lately someone's done that to me (just randomly undid what I did and not tell me about it). But maybe there's a good reason.
So I go and talk to Kevin, he has no idea either.
When boss-boss comes in, it turns out it's her. This enrages me because 1) I hate her anyway 2) she's the one who recently fucked up another one of my displays and 3) she isn't even involved in merch, so I don't know why she gets it in her head that she knows what's best. Having this shit done to me would go down a whole lot better if it was Kevin or Elaine.
But what enrages me the most, and it would piss me off no matter who did it, is that no one left me a note or told me the slightest thing on why everything's rearranged (and when boss-boss did this to me last time she didn't leave a note either). And this area is specifically my responsibility. I don't see how I can do my job properly without even being told what's going on. (I also think it's particularly stupid that she never told Kevin or Elaine what's up either, they've nominally delegated this task to me, but it is definately their assigned domain).
So she tells me that she undid what Elaine and I had agreed on awhile ago as to layout of the display. I point out that not only that, there's a lot of stuff wrong (which is stupid, but at this point I thought she'd kind of ordered the temps to do it, not do it herself. And it's stupid because boss-boss hates being called out on her mistakes I would totally be en route to a firing right now if she wasn't on probation for firing someone for having diabetes about a year ago). And she points out that I'm the one that fucked up, because I put the stuff she put up on a cart. Well, I thankfully refrained from saying, "yeah well I thought I was going to be the one who dealt with the cart later, not some idiot who doesn't know how I do things." Seriously, we've been really behind on merch for like three months now. I'm finally catching up (they've stopped making me close every night, thus I have three more hours every day to do things that I couldn't before). And now is when she just decides to pitch in and fuck everything up constantly?
But then I point out that at least one of the mistakes she made was definately not my fault, because I DID put it in the correct place when I did the first half of the display, the part she randomly undid.
I started the bitching because I didn't know it was her specifically doing it, but I guess I just couldn't let it go once she started making up stupid excuses that I knew were BS. The other thing she said was that only one thing was wrong .....so I pointed out all the other wrong things.
So after this I asked her (and I thought politely) to just at least leave me a note after she does this stuff. I told her that multimedia is my responsibility, but it is impossible to carry it out if I can't keep anything straight because people are doing things with it and not telling me.
Instead of saying, "yes, I'll do that from now on," or "no, I don't think I should have to report to you, peon," she just says, "I WILL DO THE DISPLAY MYSELF IF IT IS SUCH A PROBLEM FOR YOU," in this angry voice that I hope the all caps conveyed to you. And then just storms off.
So anyway, yeah, I went to cry. I don't think its so much this one incident, it's just the fact that I know I am not respected whatsoever. People will just fuck with my stuff without telling me, and then get mad at me for not bending over and taking it. I will never ever be promoted at that store. I can't get a decent job elsewhere. I believe, "I'm in hell. I'm trapped in hell," went through my mind several times. And... well, when I get upset things snowball and I start thinking of everything in my life that is going wrong. So I'm also thinking, "I have done nothing with my life," "I have colitis," and "no man will ever love me," all at the same time too.
The other crappy thing that happened was I had a frou-frou coffee drink at break to cheer myself up, but I forgot to get decaf, so I was having horribly painful poos constantly after a certain point in the day as well.
In things not shitty, the district manager came up to me today and said, "You do most of the multimedia merch, don't you?" and I said yes, and he told me that I did a good job, that all the new releases/front of store stuff was 100% correct. Also, an old man said I was pretty.
How did I go from this to taking my ten minute break so I could go and sob in the bathroom less than an hour into my workday?
Let me enlighten you.
I get into work and the DVD displays are all fucked up. Both in the sense that they were nowhere near the way I'd left them, and in that there were real mistakes according to the sheets as well. Also there are just a ton of these big gaping holes with nothing in them, like the person just quit in the middle of whatever they were doing.
I tell myself to calm down. I am territorial, and I hate when people fuck with my shit. Especially since the last thing I did on Monday was one half of this display, and this is the second time lately someone's done that to me (just randomly undid what I did and not tell me about it). But maybe there's a good reason.
So I go and talk to Kevin, he has no idea either.
When boss-boss comes in, it turns out it's her. This enrages me because 1) I hate her anyway 2) she's the one who recently fucked up another one of my displays and 3) she isn't even involved in merch, so I don't know why she gets it in her head that she knows what's best. Having this shit done to me would go down a whole lot better if it was Kevin or Elaine.
But what enrages me the most, and it would piss me off no matter who did it, is that no one left me a note or told me the slightest thing on why everything's rearranged (and when boss-boss did this to me last time she didn't leave a note either). And this area is specifically my responsibility. I don't see how I can do my job properly without even being told what's going on. (I also think it's particularly stupid that she never told Kevin or Elaine what's up either, they've nominally delegated this task to me, but it is definately their assigned domain).
So she tells me that she undid what Elaine and I had agreed on awhile ago as to layout of the display. I point out that not only that, there's a lot of stuff wrong (which is stupid, but at this point I thought she'd kind of ordered the temps to do it, not do it herself. And it's stupid because boss-boss hates being called out on her mistakes I would totally be en route to a firing right now if she wasn't on probation for firing someone for having diabetes about a year ago). And she points out that I'm the one that fucked up, because I put the stuff she put up on a cart. Well, I thankfully refrained from saying, "yeah well I thought I was going to be the one who dealt with the cart later, not some idiot who doesn't know how I do things." Seriously, we've been really behind on merch for like three months now. I'm finally catching up (they've stopped making me close every night, thus I have three more hours every day to do things that I couldn't before). And now is when she just decides to pitch in and fuck everything up constantly?
But then I point out that at least one of the mistakes she made was definately not my fault, because I DID put it in the correct place when I did the first half of the display, the part she randomly undid.
I started the bitching because I didn't know it was her specifically doing it, but I guess I just couldn't let it go once she started making up stupid excuses that I knew were BS. The other thing she said was that only one thing was wrong .....so I pointed out all the other wrong things.
So after this I asked her (and I thought politely) to just at least leave me a note after she does this stuff. I told her that multimedia is my responsibility, but it is impossible to carry it out if I can't keep anything straight because people are doing things with it and not telling me.
Instead of saying, "yes, I'll do that from now on," or "no, I don't think I should have to report to you, peon," she just says, "I WILL DO THE DISPLAY MYSELF IF IT IS SUCH A PROBLEM FOR YOU," in this angry voice that I hope the all caps conveyed to you. And then just storms off.
So anyway, yeah, I went to cry. I don't think its so much this one incident, it's just the fact that I know I am not respected whatsoever. People will just fuck with my stuff without telling me, and then get mad at me for not bending over and taking it. I will never ever be promoted at that store. I can't get a decent job elsewhere. I believe, "I'm in hell. I'm trapped in hell," went through my mind several times. And... well, when I get upset things snowball and I start thinking of everything in my life that is going wrong. So I'm also thinking, "I have done nothing with my life," "I have colitis," and "no man will ever love me," all at the same time too.
The other crappy thing that happened was I had a frou-frou coffee drink at break to cheer myself up, but I forgot to get decaf, so I was having horribly painful poos constantly after a certain point in the day as well.
In things not shitty, the district manager came up to me today and said, "You do most of the multimedia merch, don't you?" and I said yes, and he told me that I did a good job, that all the new releases/front of store stuff was 100% correct. Also, an old man said I was pretty.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
billy is a handyman; porcelain's the surest plan
You know, there are times when I absolutely love having a small place. Like when it's time to clean.
Seriously, if I get a big house, I'm going to have to give up on my "no children" plan and pop out a few to clean things for me.
Seriously, if I get a big house, I'm going to have to give up on my "no children" plan and pop out a few to clean things for me.
Monday, December 11, 2006
that's the only way to have sandwiches
So I finally dragged myself over to the post office today. Everyone who's expecting a package from me, it will be there in however long it usually takes to get packages from Bizzle-Nizzle. And if you don't know when that is because you've never gotten a package from Bizzle-Nizzle before: prepare to have your world rocked.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
beep boop
I'm working on a CD for the 'phew, anyone got any suggestions on songs a kid would like but that aren't horrible?
Here's what I have so far, it might not make the final cut:
What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor - Irish Rovers. Yeah, the kid loves that song, I don't know why. At least when we sing it, I have no idea whether or not he'd like this version or not. Plus, this stupid version has all the verses and they involve things that I don't know if they're appropriate for kids. Is there a shorter and/or clean version out there?
Ben Folds - the Heist. Hey, it's from a kids movie. A kids movie he actually likes. And it's Ben Folds. Everyone wins.
Animal Crackers, Hippo in my bathtub, teddybear's picnic - Anne Murray. All songs I enjoyed as a kid. I am not sure if they are too girly or not for a boy, though.
Upside Down - Jack Johnson. Eh, I'm not married to this song or anything, but it's half decent, and again it's from a children's movie so I can kind of justify it. Dunno if he'd actually like it though.
the Marvelous Toy - Peter Paul and Mary. Another favorite from when I was little.
Video Killed The Radio Star - the phew's name starts with an "O," and thus he is often saddled with the nickname O. So... all the "oh, oh's" in the song would be like it's about him! And it's kind of goofy-ish.
They Might Be Giants - I'm trying to decide what. Their actual kids album-kind of annoying. The only one I like from that at all is "The House at the Top of the Hill" and it would get pretty annoying with lots of repetition. But... all their music is kind of silly. I liked Istanbul (not Constantinople) when I was a kid and saw it on Tiny Toons. Does that mean a 3 year old would like it? Is Whistling In the Dark goofy enough to make the self affirming life message go down easier? Does Cowtown qualify? What about Dr. Worm?
I'm Different - Butterfly Boucher. It's on a kid's album! And has a self affirming life message.....
Mr. Fancypants by Jonathan Coulton? The only one of his goofy songs appropriate for kids, maybe?
Any ideas or advice?
EDIT: I WIN AT LIFE -- Dschinghis Khan has a slightly cleaner version of the drunken sailor song. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!?!?!?
Here's what I have so far, it might not make the final cut:
What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor - Irish Rovers. Yeah, the kid loves that song, I don't know why. At least when we sing it, I have no idea whether or not he'd like this version or not. Plus, this stupid version has all the verses and they involve things that I don't know if they're appropriate for kids. Is there a shorter and/or clean version out there?
Ben Folds - the Heist. Hey, it's from a kids movie. A kids movie he actually likes. And it's Ben Folds. Everyone wins.
Animal Crackers, Hippo in my bathtub, teddybear's picnic - Anne Murray. All songs I enjoyed as a kid. I am not sure if they are too girly or not for a boy, though.
Upside Down - Jack Johnson. Eh, I'm not married to this song or anything, but it's half decent, and again it's from a children's movie so I can kind of justify it. Dunno if he'd actually like it though.
the Marvelous Toy - Peter Paul and Mary. Another favorite from when I was little.
Video Killed The Radio Star - the phew's name starts with an "O," and thus he is often saddled with the nickname O. So... all the "oh, oh's" in the song would be like it's about him! And it's kind of goofy-ish.
They Might Be Giants - I'm trying to decide what. Their actual kids album-kind of annoying. The only one I like from that at all is "The House at the Top of the Hill" and it would get pretty annoying with lots of repetition. But... all their music is kind of silly. I liked Istanbul (not Constantinople) when I was a kid and saw it on Tiny Toons. Does that mean a 3 year old would like it? Is Whistling In the Dark goofy enough to make the self affirming life message go down easier? Does Cowtown qualify? What about Dr. Worm?
I'm Different - Butterfly Boucher. It's on a kid's album! And has a self affirming life message.....
Mr. Fancypants by Jonathan Coulton? The only one of his goofy songs appropriate for kids, maybe?
Any ideas or advice?
EDIT: I WIN AT LIFE -- Dschinghis Khan has a slightly cleaner version of the drunken sailor song. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!?!?!?
throw your glasses at the wall
Today was really good. I was still basking in the (I'm just going to spell it the english way) Genghis Khan afterglow most of the time. It's amazing how much better life seems when you are on weird foreign music prozak. I kind of crashed near the end of my shift, though.
Then I hung out with the neighbors again a little bit, which was awesome. I enjoy them. We enjoyed a little more ghengis khan, but it (and this is perhaps for the best) did not reach the craziness levels of last time.
Another amusing Ghengis Khan fact: we read on a message board somewhere that it is so, so happy that it "kills emo music." So who knows... Ghengis Khan might have actually fixed me, you guys! I might just put in Saves the Day and be like, "Crap, I hate this garbage, I only want more Genghis Khan!"
Which, by the way, the neighbors came into the store today and ordered their CD, and promise to let me rip it. So I could have a WHOLE ALBUM of crazy german people obsessed with Ghengis Khan, Moscow, Samurai, fake laughter, and the son of Ghenghis Khan (who wants to be a drummer like Ringo Starr).
Then I hung out with the neighbors again a little bit, which was awesome. I enjoy them. We enjoyed a little more ghengis khan, but it (and this is perhaps for the best) did not reach the craziness levels of last time.
Another amusing Ghengis Khan fact: we read on a message board somewhere that it is so, so happy that it "kills emo music." So who knows... Ghengis Khan might have actually fixed me, you guys! I might just put in Saves the Day and be like, "Crap, I hate this garbage, I only want more Genghis Khan!"
Which, by the way, the neighbors came into the store today and ordered their CD, and promise to let me rip it. So I could have a WHOLE ALBUM of crazy german people obsessed with Ghengis Khan, Moscow, Samurai, fake laughter, and the son of Ghenghis Khan (who wants to be a drummer like Ringo Starr).
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
ho ho ho ho! ha ha ha ha!
I think I'm brain dead now. Really.
I invited boy DN up at like 3 o'clock today to watch Metalocalypse and I've been hanging out with him (and then when girl DN came up at like 8, her too) since then. It is now 1 a.m. For several hours BDN and I watched just random crap on the internet. I think I am beginning to be one of those people who've pretty much just seen everything because they spend way too much time on youtube and the like. It was good times, though. The Retarded Animal Babies series, for instance, is almost as hilarious as the name "Retarded Animal Babies." Which is pretty damn hilarious.
Happy Tree Friends, however, killed my soul.
Then we played You Don't Know Jack for awhile. I'm really beginning to re-love the old computer games I saved from my parent's house at thanksgiving.
Then when GDN came up, we had delicious teriyaki chicken. Which is 1) delicious, 2) easy to make, 3) makes me feel better to feed them since they feed me all the time, 4) my parents actually bought it so I didn't really have to pay, 5) the DN's seem to love it and compliment me on it whenever I give it to them, 6) is on a stick. So really it is my go-to entree when entertaining.
Then, something happened that changed my life forever. A band called Dschinghis Khan came into my life. Let me tell you: this band is PURE JOY, potently distilled. Their music is like "Float On," by Modest Mouse, and "The Party's Crashing Us," by Of Montreal and "There's Always Someone Cooler Than You," by Ben Folds and "Dr. Worm" by They Might Be Giants (basically the happiest songs known to man) had a crazy genetically engineered child. This band makes me happy to be alive.
Okay, musically, they are hacks. Their big gimmick is that they dress up and dance weird dances. And their songs are crazy repetative. Oh, and you hear any of it: it WILL be stuck in your head forever.
But, they are HAPPY! And weird and german. And have fake laughter as lyrics to many of their songs. And make songs about Ghengis Khan and Samurai's and the son of Ghengis Khan, and Moscow. And GDN and I love them. We played the 4 songs of theirs we could find over, and over, and over singing and dancing along as best possible, and pretty much tortured poor BDN by making him find as much as possible for us, and listening to what we had already found over and over and over.
So thank you, DN's. Thank you, teriyaki chicken. And most of all: thank you, Dschinghis Khan, for giving me so many hours upon hours of pure glee at a point in time that I have not been very gleeful.
I invited boy DN up at like 3 o'clock today to watch Metalocalypse and I've been hanging out with him (and then when girl DN came up at like 8, her too) since then. It is now 1 a.m. For several hours BDN and I watched just random crap on the internet. I think I am beginning to be one of those people who've pretty much just seen everything because they spend way too much time on youtube and the like. It was good times, though. The Retarded Animal Babies series, for instance, is almost as hilarious as the name "Retarded Animal Babies." Which is pretty damn hilarious.
Happy Tree Friends, however, killed my soul.
Then we played You Don't Know Jack for awhile. I'm really beginning to re-love the old computer games I saved from my parent's house at thanksgiving.
Then when GDN came up, we had delicious teriyaki chicken. Which is 1) delicious, 2) easy to make, 3) makes me feel better to feed them since they feed me all the time, 4) my parents actually bought it so I didn't really have to pay, 5) the DN's seem to love it and compliment me on it whenever I give it to them, 6) is on a stick. So really it is my go-to entree when entertaining.
Then, something happened that changed my life forever. A band called Dschinghis Khan came into my life. Let me tell you: this band is PURE JOY, potently distilled. Their music is like "Float On," by Modest Mouse, and "The Party's Crashing Us," by Of Montreal and "There's Always Someone Cooler Than You," by Ben Folds and "Dr. Worm" by They Might Be Giants (basically the happiest songs known to man) had a crazy genetically engineered child. This band makes me happy to be alive.
Okay, musically, they are hacks. Their big gimmick is that they dress up and dance weird dances. And their songs are crazy repetative. Oh, and you hear any of it: it WILL be stuck in your head forever.
But, they are HAPPY! And weird and german. And have fake laughter as lyrics to many of their songs. And make songs about Ghengis Khan and Samurai's and the son of Ghengis Khan, and Moscow. And GDN and I love them. We played the 4 songs of theirs we could find over, and over, and over singing and dancing along as best possible, and pretty much tortured poor BDN by making him find as much as possible for us, and listening to what we had already found over and over and over.
So thank you, DN's. Thank you, teriyaki chicken. And most of all: thank you, Dschinghis Khan, for giving me so many hours upon hours of pure glee at a point in time that I have not been very gleeful.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
come down and waste away with me
So, I noticed I never put "Ryan Vs Satire" in my comic index. So, here it is if you never saw it when I made it. No new ones for awhile :/ I think there's something about boldly proclaiming that your goofy comic writer's block is over that makes the goofy comic writer's block come back with a vengeance. But hey, the one I just mentioned was really funny (to me, anyway). You should just re read that and be happy.
the surreal life
So today I realized that one of my friends (friend 1) is dating a guy with the same name as a friend (friend 2) of another friend (friend 3) who looks very similar to the guy she's dating. The friend of a friend (friend 2) is dating some person who looks like her (friend 1). Friend 2 and friend 3 frequently joke that they are the same person already. Also friend 1's guy has the speech mannerisms of yet another person we know, and my own quirky eating habits.
With all the weird things that have been happening around me lately, I really can't help but expect my mailman to turn out to be a ninja.
With all the weird things that have been happening around me lately, I really can't help but expect my mailman to turn out to be a ninja.
Monday, December 04, 2006
my despair had ascended to heaven that's how I finally got rid of it
Uncanny: I spent pretty much all of my saturday shovelling things
Me: hey as long as those things aren't crap
Me: you can think, "at least I'm not shoveling crap."
Uncanny: haha
Me: I'm a ray of sunshine, I am
Uncanny: sunshine isn't brown
Me: haha OUCH
Me: burn
Uncanny: its gold
Uncanny: and thats the wrong function entirely
Uncanny: I think I took that too far
Me: no I think that's the wrong function entirely is about when I started hurting myself laughing
Me: hey as long as those things aren't crap
Me: you can think, "at least I'm not shoveling crap."
Uncanny: haha
Me: I'm a ray of sunshine, I am
Uncanny: sunshine isn't brown
Me: haha OUCH
Me: burn
Uncanny: its gold
Uncanny: and thats the wrong function entirely
Uncanny: I think I took that too far
Me: no I think that's the wrong function entirely is about when I started hurting myself laughing
I am not allowed to think
So most of my day SUCKED ASS. It really all boils down to the fact that they did do what I suspected, outsource the best part of my job to n00b temps (the one part of the job I thought would keep me sane during the christmas season) and then not allow me to use the extra time it was supposed to give me for merch, which was pretty much the stupid point. I still contend that I can do it better and faster if they just let me do it, not just the selfish reasons. Why won't they hire some fucking cashiers? That's what I dream of.
I don't know why I get so angry... I saw it coming from a mile away. I should really be used to being dicked over by the store by now, but every time it sucks just as bad. And it always IS right when I start trusting them again, Elaine finally gave me the DAP the other day, and I had really resolved to start trying harder at work.
I literally spent my break time today eating bad McDonald's ice cream and screaming as loud as I could to angry emo music in my car.
So anyway Kevin knows I'm pissed about this, and basically took me aside so that I could rant about it to him, even though we both knew it wouldn't change anything. After that the rage just kind of melted and I was just sad... now might be because I am also sleep deprived today and it makes me very emotionally unbalanced, but I started having to pretty much hold back tears from that point on in the day.
I feel worse now than when I was at WEEK. Oh, make no mistake, WEEK WAS 100X worse. But... after a certain point, I realized I didn't want to work there, and only had a couple months left to ride out. I wasn't emotionally invested. For better or for worse, I am invested in this job. But it's not a job that makes me happy anymore, and I don't know how to fix it. And I don't know how to get another job that does make me feel happy either.
And of course whenever I have a bad day some customer complains about me, because apparently when my mouth says something nice and polite to a jerk customer, my eyes still say, "You fucking moron, I have too much shit already to deal with you today on top of it." This woman can seriously go fuck herself, especially since she seriously made up shit about what I said to her.
By the end of the day Lister thought I was physically sick, and I let him think that rather than going into all of it.
I dunno, it is weird, though, how little things can cheer you up though. I went to my parents house tonight to get some pills I needed and winter gear (I have been walking around inadequately prepared for the weather for awhile now). I thought this would be a quick in and out mission, but my mom actually made me dinner. It was so nice... just... warm, good, free, home cooked food that I didn't have to make myself. For me. Out of nowhere. Because they love me. It made me feel a lot better.
And I also thought: hooray for the world. Because I have been pretty low the last few days, but good things keep happening to cheer me up again. As well as this example, I have Boy DN coming out to spend half an hour scraping the ice off my car (and of course help me curse up a storm at it), and cute people materializing out of the internet as if by magic and accompanying me to Denny's. And green christmas lights! And people who write retorts involving "your mom" (my mom) to my grandiose claims of being the Rocky Balboa of selling stuffed animals. And drunks who can't stop jumping up and down at Wii parties. And stories about Walgreens shoplifters! People who have way too much time on their hands and use it to mock up a book cover to "the Hulk Smash Diet" in MS Paint. People who say something slightly dickish, and then completely apologize after I unleash all my rage at the world on them. And people who get me so hyper when they drive me to work that I don't even notice work sucks for the first couple hours I'm there.
I don't know why I get so angry... I saw it coming from a mile away. I should really be used to being dicked over by the store by now, but every time it sucks just as bad. And it always IS right when I start trusting them again, Elaine finally gave me the DAP the other day, and I had really resolved to start trying harder at work.
I literally spent my break time today eating bad McDonald's ice cream and screaming as loud as I could to angry emo music in my car.
So anyway Kevin knows I'm pissed about this, and basically took me aside so that I could rant about it to him, even though we both knew it wouldn't change anything. After that the rage just kind of melted and I was just sad... now might be because I am also sleep deprived today and it makes me very emotionally unbalanced, but I started having to pretty much hold back tears from that point on in the day.
I feel worse now than when I was at WEEK. Oh, make no mistake, WEEK WAS 100X worse. But... after a certain point, I realized I didn't want to work there, and only had a couple months left to ride out. I wasn't emotionally invested. For better or for worse, I am invested in this job. But it's not a job that makes me happy anymore, and I don't know how to fix it. And I don't know how to get another job that does make me feel happy either.
And of course whenever I have a bad day some customer complains about me, because apparently when my mouth says something nice and polite to a jerk customer, my eyes still say, "You fucking moron, I have too much shit already to deal with you today on top of it." This woman can seriously go fuck herself, especially since she seriously made up shit about what I said to her.
By the end of the day Lister thought I was physically sick, and I let him think that rather than going into all of it.
I dunno, it is weird, though, how little things can cheer you up though. I went to my parents house tonight to get some pills I needed and winter gear (I have been walking around inadequately prepared for the weather for awhile now). I thought this would be a quick in and out mission, but my mom actually made me dinner. It was so nice... just... warm, good, free, home cooked food that I didn't have to make myself. For me. Out of nowhere. Because they love me. It made me feel a lot better.
And I also thought: hooray for the world. Because I have been pretty low the last few days, but good things keep happening to cheer me up again. As well as this example, I have Boy DN coming out to spend half an hour scraping the ice off my car (and of course help me curse up a storm at it), and cute people materializing out of the internet as if by magic and accompanying me to Denny's. And green christmas lights! And people who write retorts involving "your mom" (my mom) to my grandiose claims of being the Rocky Balboa of selling stuffed animals. And drunks who can't stop jumping up and down at Wii parties. And stories about Walgreens shoplifters! People who have way too much time on their hands and use it to mock up a book cover to "the Hulk Smash Diet" in MS Paint. People who say something slightly dickish, and then completely apologize after I unleash all my rage at the world on them. And people who get me so hyper when they drive me to work that I don't even notice work sucks for the first couple hours I'm there.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Overwhelmingly true fact of the day: Boy DN is fucking awesome. That's nothing against girl DN, but for serious: I didn't go out anywhere yesterday, so my car had ice at least half an inch thick covering it all over. I couldn't even get into it at first, and I stupidly did not budget enough time for it, on the basis that I thought my dad had did it.
(My dad dug my car out of a snowbank and broke into my place to give me a snow shovel last night)
So since I had locked my phone in my car, I knocked on the DN's door, thinking I could at least phone work and tell them the issue. From the bits of the story I later gathered, girl DN was gone, and boy DN had some friend of his over. When I knocked boy DN's friend heard, but not boy DN, and when boy DN got out of the toilet or whatever, he was informed that there was a knock at the door complete with my distinctive novelty penny/key jangling.
So I went out to my car again and just started frickin' scraping at the ice around the door with my keys. I had just about gotten the car open, at least when boy DN comes out and, informed of the situation, helps scrape my car with this tiny-ass scraper he has. I myself have an ice scraper... that promptly breaks at the first sign of action. So he and I spent like 45 minutes scraping the thick ice off my car; him with his tiny scraper, and me just hacking at the ice (somewhat inneffectively) with the blade from my broken scraper. Which, I of course managed to stab my fingers several times over the course of this.
So I was basically soaking wet, freezing cold, stabbed and freezing fingers, and a half hour late to work, but I learned the true meaning of friendship.
Oh and yeah, boy DN and his friend had to push my car off of the ice, too.
(My dad dug my car out of a snowbank and broke into my place to give me a snow shovel last night)
So since I had locked my phone in my car, I knocked on the DN's door, thinking I could at least phone work and tell them the issue. From the bits of the story I later gathered, girl DN was gone, and boy DN had some friend of his over. When I knocked boy DN's friend heard, but not boy DN, and when boy DN got out of the toilet or whatever, he was informed that there was a knock at the door complete with my distinctive novelty penny/key jangling.
So I went out to my car again and just started frickin' scraping at the ice around the door with my keys. I had just about gotten the car open, at least when boy DN comes out and, informed of the situation, helps scrape my car with this tiny-ass scraper he has. I myself have an ice scraper... that promptly breaks at the first sign of action. So he and I spent like 45 minutes scraping the thick ice off my car; him with his tiny scraper, and me just hacking at the ice (somewhat inneffectively) with the blade from my broken scraper. Which, I of course managed to stab my fingers several times over the course of this.
So I was basically soaking wet, freezing cold, stabbed and freezing fingers, and a half hour late to work, but I learned the true meaning of friendship.
Oh and yeah, boy DN and his friend had to push my car off of the ice, too.
Friday, December 01, 2006
we never get together at all till the last day of hannukah
Ryan: Hm I wonder what I should get you for christmas
Ryan: a picture of me dressed as Dr. Rockso
Me: HAHA YES
Me: Oh I also need a picture of you doing your OH face at one point, because I am planning to do the "people who've humped my couch" gallery soon
Ryan: haha nice
Me: I plan on looking passed out, with cushions heaped on me, like the couch caught me unawares and humped me
Ryan: haha I agree with this
Ryan: It's too bad I don't have one in reverse
Me: eh?
Ryan: like.. somehow make the couch seem unaware
Ryan: and me humping it from behind
Me: oh my god
Me: that would be hilarious
Me: I could try and take some plain pictures of my couch if you think you could photoshop yourself date raping it
Ryan: haha
Ryan: with my hand on it all consoling.. and my finger up to my mouth all.. "Shhh"
Ryan: I wish we could make your couch look like it's crying
Me: awww, you seem so experienced at this
Me: I could sort of tape blue tear drops to it somewhere
Ryan: haha
Ryan: make the cushions all up like eyebrows
Me: haha aww
Me: if it looks too human It'll be sad
Ryan: I can picture in my head making the cushions looking like a bent over person
Me: haha.... I'll see what I can do
Me: but I mean the couch is already at crotch height for humping pleasure
Ryan: True
Me: so now your plans for my couch are up on my blog
Ryan: Crap
Me: crap?
Ryan: that would totally ruin my plans
Me: I don't think my couch can read
Ryan: Are you sure though?
Me: yes
Me: one day I gave it poison and not poison
Me: and it picked the poisoned one
Me: and then I had to take it to the hospital
Me: but it was clearly labeled poison
Ryan: haha
Ryan: maybe it's just suicidal from all the unwanted humping
Ryan: a picture of me dressed as Dr. Rockso
Me: HAHA YES
Me: Oh I also need a picture of you doing your OH face at one point, because I am planning to do the "people who've humped my couch" gallery soon
Ryan: haha nice
Me: I plan on looking passed out, with cushions heaped on me, like the couch caught me unawares and humped me
Ryan: haha I agree with this
Ryan: It's too bad I don't have one in reverse
Me: eh?
Ryan: like.. somehow make the couch seem unaware
Ryan: and me humping it from behind
Me: oh my god
Me: that would be hilarious
Me: I could try and take some plain pictures of my couch if you think you could photoshop yourself date raping it
Ryan: haha
Ryan: with my hand on it all consoling.. and my finger up to my mouth all.. "Shhh"
Ryan: I wish we could make your couch look like it's crying
Me: awww, you seem so experienced at this
Me: I could sort of tape blue tear drops to it somewhere
Ryan: haha
Ryan: make the cushions all up like eyebrows
Me: haha aww
Me: if it looks too human It'll be sad
Ryan: I can picture in my head making the cushions looking like a bent over person
Me: haha.... I'll see what I can do
Me: but I mean the couch is already at crotch height for humping pleasure
Ryan: True
Me: so now your plans for my couch are up on my blog
Ryan: Crap
Me: crap?
Ryan: that would totally ruin my plans
Me: I don't think my couch can read
Ryan: Are you sure though?
Me: yes
Me: one day I gave it poison and not poison
Me: and it picked the poisoned one
Me: and then I had to take it to the hospital
Me: but it was clearly labeled poison
Ryan: haha
Ryan: maybe it's just suicidal from all the unwanted humping
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