If you normally get ahold of me via interweb: I'm going to be gone a little while, I still don't know what's up with the computernets at my new place, because there's some question as to whether or not everyone in the building is going to go in for a group rate, and I don't really want to start service and then a week later have to disconnect and get connected again with someone else.
Ciao.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
my day
Got up.
Took a shower.
Threw up. FOR NO DISCERNABLE REASON I HATE YOU WORLD.
Bought drapes. Crapped at Bed, Bath, & Beyond no less than 3 times.
Installed drapes.
WAS TOTALLY VINDICATED ON HOW AWESOME MY BLACK TILE LOOKS.
Next up: work.
Took a shower.
Threw up. FOR NO DISCERNABLE REASON I HATE YOU WORLD.
Bought drapes. Crapped at Bed, Bath, & Beyond no less than 3 times.
Installed drapes.
WAS TOTALLY VINDICATED ON HOW AWESOME MY BLACK TILE LOOKS.
Next up: work.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
the moves
--Moving blows. I still have too much stuff.
--And yet, I don't have enough stuff. Having to go out and buy like, drapes and shower curtains and the like is proving annoying as well.
--Colitis blows... I felt really crappy earlier and had to call off work. I kind of didn't want to, because I called off two weeks ago (I really was sick + I found out my mom had cancer that day) but it was that or show up late cause I couldn't get off the toilet (I actually called in while on the toilet) and then spend the first couple hours there running back and forth to their toilet once I did get in, which not only is counterproductive, but makes me look bad in the long run anyway cause it fucks up my call handle time. I really am way too nervous about this.... I mean, it's not Tami and Borders, here. I do think my current employer would be reluctant to fire me/discipline me over a disability. But it's still worriesome, esp. since my supervisor seemed (she didn't come out and say it, mind you) a little skeptical over when I called in two weeks ago, cause she'd talked to me earlier in the day and thought I sounded fine.
By the way, I did finally see the remodeled condo, and it is totally pretty. Like me! This might be tooting my own horn or whatever, but I think it turned out really well, considering how much work I had to do in reconciling my tastes with my moms and the world at large's and the fact that whenever I picked any tile the store kept not having it. The 2nd bedroom is probably what I like least... (brightish green carpet + pale, almost white yellow walls) but I don't actively dislike it and I'm not spending a ton of time in there anyway. The kitchen and the bathroom look AMAZING (to me, I had my reservations due to all the tile switcharoos/lack of good tile choices to begin with, but they turned out better than I could've hoped) and I love the blue that the living room and other bedroom are done in.
Now I just have to work at the packing... It's actually not that hard, because I'm one of those idiots who just throws everything in a box and then sorts it out later (even if everything's all jumbled up, I mind unpacking less than packing for whatever reason), but it feels hard and I don't like it. I did finally get some boxes at Borders, though, so I actually will probably manage to have places for all my things, which is good. And like I said.... I'm weirdly looking forward to unpacking. It's sort of how you make a place yours, and there is SO much room at the new place.
--And yet, I don't have enough stuff. Having to go out and buy like, drapes and shower curtains and the like is proving annoying as well.
--Colitis blows... I felt really crappy earlier and had to call off work. I kind of didn't want to, because I called off two weeks ago (I really was sick + I found out my mom had cancer that day) but it was that or show up late cause I couldn't get off the toilet (I actually called in while on the toilet) and then spend the first couple hours there running back and forth to their toilet once I did get in, which not only is counterproductive, but makes me look bad in the long run anyway cause it fucks up my call handle time. I really am way too nervous about this.... I mean, it's not Tami and Borders, here. I do think my current employer would be reluctant to fire me/discipline me over a disability. But it's still worriesome, esp. since my supervisor seemed (she didn't come out and say it, mind you) a little skeptical over when I called in two weeks ago, cause she'd talked to me earlier in the day and thought I sounded fine.
By the way, I did finally see the remodeled condo, and it is totally pretty. Like me! This might be tooting my own horn or whatever, but I think it turned out really well, considering how much work I had to do in reconciling my tastes with my moms and the world at large's and the fact that whenever I picked any tile the store kept not having it. The 2nd bedroom is probably what I like least... (brightish green carpet + pale, almost white yellow walls) but I don't actively dislike it and I'm not spending a ton of time in there anyway. The kitchen and the bathroom look AMAZING (to me, I had my reservations due to all the tile switcharoos/lack of good tile choices to begin with, but they turned out better than I could've hoped) and I love the blue that the living room and other bedroom are done in.
Now I just have to work at the packing... It's actually not that hard, because I'm one of those idiots who just throws everything in a box and then sorts it out later (even if everything's all jumbled up, I mind unpacking less than packing for whatever reason), but it feels hard and I don't like it. I did finally get some boxes at Borders, though, so I actually will probably manage to have places for all my things, which is good. And like I said.... I'm weirdly looking forward to unpacking. It's sort of how you make a place yours, and there is SO much room at the new place.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
What I've Been Up To
--buying music I probably can't afford or have time to listen to. Coheed & Cambria and Say Anything's new albums. I'm rededicating myself to seriously listen to them plus the Cribs, Asthmatic Kitty Sampler, and Lifehouse, the two albums I've recently gotten but never listened to that much.
I use the term recently loosely... I've had Asthmatic Kitty (which my excuse is I got it for free) since I got my Sufjan tee shirt months ago.
--Hanging out with The Roni. This entails dry humping his ass in front of his friends, scissoring him in front of children, listening to his passionate discourse on eating afterbirth, and forcing him to act out dialogue from the Venture Bros.
--Not pooping. Then pooping a lot.
--Moving prep (half-heartedly). I'm excited about moving, don't get me wrong, but so very lazy.
--Hating work. I had a guy today who seriously didn't know his address.
I use the term recently loosely... I've had Asthmatic Kitty (which my excuse is I got it for free) since I got my Sufjan tee shirt months ago.
--Hanging out with The Roni. This entails dry humping his ass in front of his friends, scissoring him in front of children, listening to his passionate discourse on eating afterbirth, and forcing him to act out dialogue from the Venture Bros.
--Not pooping. Then pooping a lot.
--Moving prep (half-heartedly). I'm excited about moving, don't get me wrong, but so very lazy.
--Hating work. I had a guy today who seriously didn't know his address.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
lkjsdlkasjeedfl
Today I decided: I am getting a masters in Library Science.
The epiphany came when a woman said to me, "I can't understand your voice. It's all nasally."
FUCK YOU WORLD. Seriously. I knew my voice was unique, and even somewhat abrasive. But since I've entered the service industry, I really had no idea how crappy it was. In the last 4 months I've worked on the phone, I've gotten at least 4 times as shit about my voice as I got in the last two years at Borders. I am really, really tired of it. And no one else has this problem. WTF.
So this woman asks her question or whatever, and I offer to send a message to her agent. Which makes her say, "you're not in my agent's office?" which I give her my canned spiel on no I'm not but please let me still help you. Which she rather snidely turned down, saying, "There's nothing YOU can help me with." Then there's this idiotic rule at work where we have to check for additional needs even after it's pretty obvious that the person doesn't want our help. So I say, "is there anything else I can help you with today?" and instead of the usual mean, "well you didn't help me out in the first place" I got "Your voice is very nasally, I can't really understand it." So I say "Thank you for calling ____" instead of asking again and am about to hang up but of course she says, "What? I can't understand you, you're so nasally," and I can't just hang up on her, and I say, "Is there anythinge else I can help you with?" and she says the nasally thing again--which I find this particularly bizarre, seeing as how she seemed to understand me fine at first. And I finally shout at her (this is the first time I've actually yelled at a customer) "I CAN'T HELP WHAT MY VOICE IS LIKE." And she says some other shit and I say thank you for calling and hang up on her ass.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is I know school won't get me out of this goddamned job immediately, but I don't want to spend a year doing this goddamned job and still be at a dead end. I'm going to hedge my stupid bets even if it lands me in debt. Human beings are not meant to live like this.
First order of business: moving
Second order of business: applying to the library science program
Third order of business: looking around for a new job that might be better than this one, and/or a part time one I could have in addition to this one to help me earn money for school until I actually start school.
The epiphany came when a woman said to me, "I can't understand your voice. It's all nasally."
FUCK YOU WORLD. Seriously. I knew my voice was unique, and even somewhat abrasive. But since I've entered the service industry, I really had no idea how crappy it was. In the last 4 months I've worked on the phone, I've gotten at least 4 times as shit about my voice as I got in the last two years at Borders. I am really, really tired of it. And no one else has this problem. WTF.
So this woman asks her question or whatever, and I offer to send a message to her agent. Which makes her say, "you're not in my agent's office?" which I give her my canned spiel on no I'm not but please let me still help you. Which she rather snidely turned down, saying, "There's nothing YOU can help me with." Then there's this idiotic rule at work where we have to check for additional needs even after it's pretty obvious that the person doesn't want our help. So I say, "is there anything else I can help you with today?" and instead of the usual mean, "well you didn't help me out in the first place" I got "Your voice is very nasally, I can't really understand it." So I say "Thank you for calling ____" instead of asking again and am about to hang up but of course she says, "What? I can't understand you, you're so nasally," and I can't just hang up on her, and I say, "Is there anythinge else I can help you with?" and she says the nasally thing again--which I find this particularly bizarre, seeing as how she seemed to understand me fine at first. And I finally shout at her (this is the first time I've actually yelled at a customer) "I CAN'T HELP WHAT MY VOICE IS LIKE." And she says some other shit and I say thank you for calling and hang up on her ass.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is I know school won't get me out of this goddamned job immediately, but I don't want to spend a year doing this goddamned job and still be at a dead end. I'm going to hedge my stupid bets even if it lands me in debt. Human beings are not meant to live like this.
First order of business: moving
Second order of business: applying to the library science program
Third order of business: looking around for a new job that might be better than this one, and/or a part time one I could have in addition to this one to help me earn money for school until I actually start school.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
a naughty little fish with a penchant for swimming up a man's urethra
Well a lot's happened since my last post.
First off: my mom: doing AWESOME. They let her home yesterday, and I hung out with them. She's had chemo and it aparently really agrees with her. She's not felt sicker in any way since having it, only better. She says she is already breathing better than when she was admitted to the hospital. Now, one reason she was probably feeling extra shitty while she was still down in the cardiac ward (when she was orig. admitted they thought it might be something with her heart) was that the incompetant sons a bitches were giving her aspirin every day, which she is allergic to. And which they KNOW she's allergic to, seeing as how she was wearing a bright orange ALLERGY bracelet for that specific medication. So in summary: mom doing better, out of the hospital, me happy.
Second: visit from my manaroni! BTW, I call him that in reference to both rice/pasta roni and the Vanilla Ice song, Having a Roni. Yes, I am now dating someone who has a vast knowledge of Vanilla Ice. Laugh if you must, but I think if you met him you'd be laughing with us as well as at us cause he's freaking hilarious. We had a 4 hour conversation about Pauly Shore busting a nut last night and I think I broke something from laughing so hard. I made him watch Venture Bros, and he is now a fan (but who wouldn't be? They're awesome!) and he brought Sarah Silverman "Jesus is Magic," and I realized how mean Martin Luther King Jr. is, all farting in the car with the windows closed and forcing his family to smell it.
Third: Halloween par-tay at YM's. I was wolverine! Which basically entailed putting the X men logo on my belt and taping chopsticks to my hand. It was well recieved, and there are a variety of goofy dances that chopsticks on the hand aid with. Who doesn't love seeing Wolverine raise the roof? I also enjoyed running around going "I got a knife!" and licking my claws. I also kept making Herd (dressed as Joker) do his insane Joker laugh, and then say "wipeout."
First off: my mom: doing AWESOME. They let her home yesterday, and I hung out with them. She's had chemo and it aparently really agrees with her. She's not felt sicker in any way since having it, only better. She says she is already breathing better than when she was admitted to the hospital. Now, one reason she was probably feeling extra shitty while she was still down in the cardiac ward (when she was orig. admitted they thought it might be something with her heart) was that the incompetant sons a bitches were giving her aspirin every day, which she is allergic to. And which they KNOW she's allergic to, seeing as how she was wearing a bright orange ALLERGY bracelet for that specific medication. So in summary: mom doing better, out of the hospital, me happy.
Second: visit from my manaroni! BTW, I call him that in reference to both rice/pasta roni and the Vanilla Ice song, Having a Roni. Yes, I am now dating someone who has a vast knowledge of Vanilla Ice. Laugh if you must, but I think if you met him you'd be laughing with us as well as at us cause he's freaking hilarious. We had a 4 hour conversation about Pauly Shore busting a nut last night and I think I broke something from laughing so hard. I made him watch Venture Bros, and he is now a fan (but who wouldn't be? They're awesome!) and he brought Sarah Silverman "Jesus is Magic," and I realized how mean Martin Luther King Jr. is, all farting in the car with the windows closed and forcing his family to smell it.
Third: Halloween par-tay at YM's. I was wolverine! Which basically entailed putting the X men logo on my belt and taping chopsticks to my hand. It was well recieved, and there are a variety of goofy dances that chopsticks on the hand aid with. Who doesn't love seeing Wolverine raise the roof? I also enjoyed running around going "I got a knife!" and licking my claws. I also kept making Herd (dressed as Joker) do his insane Joker laugh, and then say "wipeout."
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
my day
(12:16:53 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: what're you up to today?
(12:17:20 PM) Me: I called up my parents and they still don't have the results on what sort of cancer it is
(12:17:31 PM) Me: then I went to Meijer and bought tuna helper and no tuna like the dick I am
(12:17:37 PM) Me: then I washed dishes
(12:17:40 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(12:17:43 PM) Me: now I don't really have anything until work
(12:17:47 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: time to dance party
(12:18:01 PM) Me: I am listening to idlewild at top volume
(12:18:15 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that is not dance-worthy
(12:18:20 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that's mopeworthy
(12:18:34 PM) Me: what is wrong with idlewild?
(12:18:40 PM) Me: they ROCk
(12:18:55 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: they rock the sadness
(12:18:59 PM) Me: haha
(12:19:29 PM) Me: fine I will listen to murmaider for you
(12:23:33 PM) Me: so here's something weird
(12:23:45 PM) Me: I think home improvement stores are getting indie
(12:24:04 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha how so?
(12:24:21 PM) Me: I swear to god I was in Home Depot this weekend, and they were playing "Landed," by Ben Folds
(12:24:32 PM) Me: and a couple weeks before that Lowe's was playing Peter Bjorn & John
(12:25:06 PM) Me: Like I sort of got the PB & J, it's been on Grey's Anatomy and is sort of popular these days. But that Ben Folds song is not popular or even new.
(12:27:32 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(12:27:59 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I tell you what, and I know I've heard about it before, but I have no respect for Of Montreal anymore
(12:28:18 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I saw their stupid Outback commercial and it makes me want to stab everyone
(12:29:36 PM) Me: hahaha
(12:29:40 PM) Me: I dunno I figure they're poor
(12:29:44 PM) Me: they might as well sell it
(12:29:50 PM) Me: plus I don't watch tv and don't have to see that ad
(12:29:58 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: no that's no reason to sing outback steakhouse jingles to the tune of one of your songs
(12:30:03 PM) Me: I didn't really like that song in the first place
(12:30:18 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: like.. make up a new song for selling out to outback
(12:30:24 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: don't take one of your songs and just replace the lyrics
(12:30:26 PM) Me: haha
(12:30:27 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that's just horrible
(12:30:40 PM) Me: you'd have to take that up with them or outback
(12:30:50 PM) Me: I don't know why they did it the way they did
(12:31:01 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: because they suck :|
(12:31:04 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I take it up with anyone that supports them
(12:31:14 PM) Me: fine
(12:31:15 PM) Me: you told me
(12:31:19 PM) Me: and I still like them
(12:31:32 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(12:32:17 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I boycott all indie music and steak!
(12:32:32 PM) Me: what did steak do to you? Boycott Australia if you have to
(12:32:33 PM) Me: not steak
(12:33:30 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch:: haha outback is no more australian than crocodile dundee
(12:34:58 PM) Me: well then boycott crocodile dundee and all fake australian objects
(12:35:17 PM) Me: throw another shrimp on the BARbie
(12:35:30 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(12:35:37 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I'll throw barbie on the barbie
(12:35:50 PM) Me: are you a barbie girl living in a barbie world?
(12:35:56 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: No
(12:36:02 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I'm a material girl and this is a material world
(12:36:16 PM) Me: I mean you should boycott crocodile dundee
(12:36:18 PM) Me: he sucks anyway
(12:36:24 PM) Me: haha
(12:36:28 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that's not a knoife!
(12:36:39 PM) Me: HAHAHAH
Then right after that, I got a phone call from my dad. The cancer's treatable!
(12:17:20 PM) Me: I called up my parents and they still don't have the results on what sort of cancer it is
(12:17:31 PM) Me: then I went to Meijer and bought tuna helper and no tuna like the dick I am
(12:17:37 PM) Me: then I washed dishes
(12:17:40 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(12:17:43 PM) Me: now I don't really have anything until work
(12:17:47 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the Win to my Wang: time to dance party
(12:18:01 PM) Me: I am listening to idlewild at top volume
(12:18:15 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that is not dance-worthy
(12:18:20 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that's mopeworthy
(12:18:34 PM) Me: what is wrong with idlewild?
(12:18:40 PM) Me: they ROCk
(12:18:55 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: they rock the sadness
(12:18:59 PM) Me: haha
(12:19:29 PM) Me: fine I will listen to murmaider for you
(12:23:33 PM) Me: so here's something weird
(12:23:45 PM) Me: I think home improvement stores are getting indie
(12:24:04 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha how so?
(12:24:21 PM) Me: I swear to god I was in Home Depot this weekend, and they were playing "Landed," by Ben Folds
(12:24:32 PM) Me: and a couple weeks before that Lowe's was playing Peter Bjorn & John
(12:25:06 PM) Me: Like I sort of got the PB & J, it's been on Grey's Anatomy and is sort of popular these days. But that Ben Folds song is not popular or even new.
(12:27:32 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(12:27:59 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I tell you what, and I know I've heard about it before, but I have no respect for Of Montreal anymore
(12:28:18 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I saw their stupid Outback commercial and it makes me want to stab everyone
(12:29:36 PM) Me: hahaha
(12:29:40 PM) Me: I dunno I figure they're poor
(12:29:44 PM) Me: they might as well sell it
(12:29:50 PM) Me: plus I don't watch tv and don't have to see that ad
(12:29:58 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: no that's no reason to sing outback steakhouse jingles to the tune of one of your songs
(12:30:03 PM) Me: I didn't really like that song in the first place
(12:30:18 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: like.. make up a new song for selling out to outback
(12:30:24 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: don't take one of your songs and just replace the lyrics
(12:30:26 PM) Me: haha
(12:30:27 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that's just horrible
(12:30:40 PM) Me: you'd have to take that up with them or outback
(12:30:50 PM) Me: I don't know why they did it the way they did
(12:31:01 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: because they suck :|
(12:31:04 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I take it up with anyone that supports them
(12:31:14 PM) Me: fine
(12:31:15 PM) Me: you told me
(12:31:19 PM) Me: and I still like them
(12:31:32 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(12:32:17 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I boycott all indie music and steak!
(12:32:32 PM) Me: what did steak do to you? Boycott Australia if you have to
(12:32:33 PM) Me: not steak
(12:33:30 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch:: haha outback is no more australian than crocodile dundee
(12:34:58 PM) Me: well then boycott crocodile dundee and all fake australian objects
(12:35:17 PM) Me: throw another shrimp on the BARbie
(12:35:30 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(12:35:37 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I'll throw barbie on the barbie
(12:35:50 PM) Me: are you a barbie girl living in a barbie world?
(12:35:56 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: No
(12:36:02 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I'm a material girl and this is a material world
(12:36:16 PM) Me: I mean you should boycott crocodile dundee
(12:36:18 PM) Me: he sucks anyway
(12:36:24 PM) Me: haha
(12:36:28 PM) Ryanthor Murdoch: that's not a knoife!
(12:36:39 PM) Me: HAHAHAH
Then right after that, I got a phone call from my dad. The cancer's treatable!
inspired by
inspired by
co-created by
JOSHIERONI! And Morrissey. But then again, everything I do is inspired and co-created by Morrissey.
inspired by
co-created by
JOSHIERONI! And Morrissey. But then again, everything I do is inspired and co-created by Morrissey.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Well, I don't know if it's because I sort of expected it or because I'm a horrible person, but I just found out that my mom had cancer and I don't feel all that bad. Aside from the guilt about not feeling bad. I don't know, it doesn't seem real. It's in her liver, which is supposedly pretty hard to treat, but they did a biopsy today (results not in yet) to see whether or not it can be treated. The reason she had trouble breathing (and I got confused, I thought it was in multiple places, including her lungs but I was wrong) is that the mass on her liver is kind of pushing up on her lung.
EDIT: that sounded sort of robotty. I AM sad and upset. Just not to the extent that I think I SHOULD be.
EDIT: that sounded sort of robotty. I AM sad and upset. Just not to the extent that I think I SHOULD be.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
cupid don't draw back your bow
By Nevada, I mean Arizona, of course.
Who says I'm not a good friend?
Speaking of which, does anyone have any good, EASY, books they can reccomend for reading on the plane? The easy is because it's quite hard to read a book when you are nauseated and have a splitting headache. Like I usually am on a plane.
In other news: I think I definitely have a cold, I've started the coughing in earnest now. Which, I actually like. For me, I usually have a sore throat for a couple days (which I did), then I have blinding sinus pain for a couple of days, then I cough a couple days. So skipping the sinus bit (hopefully, they do hurt a little today) is like a gift. Also, my throat is a little better, which means I can work, which is good, because I spent way too much money on cold medicine last night.
PS: Last night a moth flew into my EYE. True story.
Who says I'm not a good friend?
Speaking of which, does anyone have any good, EASY, books they can reccomend for reading on the plane? The easy is because it's quite hard to read a book when you are nauseated and have a splitting headache. Like I usually am on a plane.
In other news: I think I definitely have a cold, I've started the coughing in earnest now. Which, I actually like. For me, I usually have a sore throat for a couple days (which I did), then I have blinding sinus pain for a couple of days, then I cough a couple days. So skipping the sinus bit (hopefully, they do hurt a little today) is like a gift. Also, my throat is a little better, which means I can work, which is good, because I spent way too much money on cold medicine last night.
PS: Last night a moth flew into my EYE. True story.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
I'm there to monitor your breathing I will watch you while you're sleeping
Today:
1) Looked at tile. It will never end. Ever.
2) Visited my mom in the hospital. They ruled out a lot of things. Which... blows because they still don't know what is wrong with her and have ruled out most of the "not that bad things." There's some random thing on one of her lungs, and she has something or other on her liver. Either one could be nothing, or cancer. I felt bad, I couldn't really talk to her that much because my throat is even worse today, and I had to go to the toilet every five minutes (McDonalds milkshake disagreed with me). I was there when she got the aforementioned news, which of course, shook her up. As for the fact that it could possibly be something with her lungs, that makes me guilty that for years I've secretly (or not so secretly) been like, "Yeah, I really fucking hope she quits smoking. Not for her, she'll live for fucking ever, her mom who was a smoker did, but because of my sister and I's asthma and the fact that it's GROSS."
3) Went home. Pooped more. Moped. I also feel kind of like an ass because I really need to tell them about my trip to see Ryan soon, it's only a couple weeks away. And it's not that bad, I think they realize I'm not doing him now (I tend to mention his fiancee at every opportunity possible), but it is a slightly touchy subject and I don't want to like, have to bring it up while my mom's in the hospital. And if something really IS wrong with her, I don't really want to be in Nevada while it's all going down. But I feel doubly assy that I'm worried about that almost as much as her actual condition.
Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these, so I sat alone and waited out the night
--Guernica
Brand New
1) Looked at tile. It will never end. Ever.
2) Visited my mom in the hospital. They ruled out a lot of things. Which... blows because they still don't know what is wrong with her and have ruled out most of the "not that bad things." There's some random thing on one of her lungs, and she has something or other on her liver. Either one could be nothing, or cancer. I felt bad, I couldn't really talk to her that much because my throat is even worse today, and I had to go to the toilet every five minutes (McDonalds milkshake disagreed with me). I was there when she got the aforementioned news, which of course, shook her up. As for the fact that it could possibly be something with her lungs, that makes me guilty that for years I've secretly (or not so secretly) been like, "Yeah, I really fucking hope she quits smoking. Not for her, she'll live for fucking ever, her mom who was a smoker did, but because of my sister and I's asthma and the fact that it's GROSS."
3) Went home. Pooped more. Moped. I also feel kind of like an ass because I really need to tell them about my trip to see Ryan soon, it's only a couple weeks away. And it's not that bad, I think they realize I'm not doing him now (I tend to mention his fiancee at every opportunity possible), but it is a slightly touchy subject and I don't want to like, have to bring it up while my mom's in the hospital. And if something really IS wrong with her, I don't really want to be in Nevada while it's all going down. But I feel doubly assy that I'm worried about that almost as much as her actual condition.
Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these, so I sat alone and waited out the night
--Guernica
Brand New
Friday, October 12, 2007
sickies
I got off work early again today! Wooooo.
Though this was "early dismissal" which is basically telling them "I feel like leaving," and if they have extra people around they don't need, they let you go. So you're not paid for it, unless you want to use your vaction time.
Which I didn't, really. I felt it was justified, though, I had a wicked bad sore throat. If this is my first cold of winter, I'm kinda pissed. If you have it this early it doesn't count and you have to have another one by the end of the season. But it might be allergies.... I sometimes have an allergic blip in fall. And I don't really feel all crappy and zapped of energy the way I do when I have a cold, just phlegmy and sore throaty.
Anyway, I really really try to avoid taking early dismissal, because I know I'll get addicted to it and never have any money/vacation time. But I figured the fact that I came into my job at all when I was sick is less douchey than I normally am when I'm sick, so it was okay.
Speaking of sick, my mom's in the hospital. Yeah, that's right, I'm the bastard who talks about my sore throat WHILE MY MOM'S IN THE HOSPITAL. I'm not hella worried.... she didn't have a heart attack or collapse or anything, this is more of a diagnostic thing. My dad's been complaining (well, not complaining, talking a lot about) how my mom's not had any energy all summer. Which... I found a bit strange at the time that he felt he had to comment on it, because my mom is like the least energetic person I know and has been that way for years. Her life is basically: get up, watch tv, play computer, nap on couch, watch tv, play computer. I'm not dissing her--sans nap, that is basically what I do all day too. But anyway it's changed from that to: get up, nap, nap nap, go to bed, which I had not previously realized. So anyway, I guess my dad finally nagged her until she gave up and went to see someone. So I'm sort of apprehensive, my parents (mom especially) have really crappy health and what ever can go wrong will go wrong. And it seems like every time one of them has a new problem crop up, the dr's are all, "I don't know what it is" and it never gets solved. But I'm not worried-worried. Hopefully that's justified.
In other news: fuck you, nature. Straight from Summer to Winter? Bastard.
Though this was "early dismissal" which is basically telling them "I feel like leaving," and if they have extra people around they don't need, they let you go. So you're not paid for it, unless you want to use your vaction time.
Which I didn't, really. I felt it was justified, though, I had a wicked bad sore throat. If this is my first cold of winter, I'm kinda pissed. If you have it this early it doesn't count and you have to have another one by the end of the season. But it might be allergies.... I sometimes have an allergic blip in fall. And I don't really feel all crappy and zapped of energy the way I do when I have a cold, just phlegmy and sore throaty.
Anyway, I really really try to avoid taking early dismissal, because I know I'll get addicted to it and never have any money/vacation time. But I figured the fact that I came into my job at all when I was sick is less douchey than I normally am when I'm sick, so it was okay.
Speaking of sick, my mom's in the hospital. Yeah, that's right, I'm the bastard who talks about my sore throat WHILE MY MOM'S IN THE HOSPITAL. I'm not hella worried.... she didn't have a heart attack or collapse or anything, this is more of a diagnostic thing. My dad's been complaining (well, not complaining, talking a lot about) how my mom's not had any energy all summer. Which... I found a bit strange at the time that he felt he had to comment on it, because my mom is like the least energetic person I know and has been that way for years. Her life is basically: get up, watch tv, play computer, nap on couch, watch tv, play computer. I'm not dissing her--sans nap, that is basically what I do all day too. But anyway it's changed from that to: get up, nap, nap nap, go to bed, which I had not previously realized. So anyway, I guess my dad finally nagged her until she gave up and went to see someone. So I'm sort of apprehensive, my parents (mom especially) have really crappy health and what ever can go wrong will go wrong. And it seems like every time one of them has a new problem crop up, the dr's are all, "I don't know what it is" and it never gets solved. But I'm not worried-worried. Hopefully that's justified.
In other news: fuck you, nature. Straight from Summer to Winter? Bastard.
snail shell
Gah. I put this template up before I realized it was tan. How am I drawn to tan on the interwebs and not in real life? It's a paradox. An annoying paradox.
I just really, really like the snail.
I just really, really like the snail.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
whoa
Monday, October 08, 2007
stuff 'n' things
So, I actually have been going out and doing things! Sort of. The complete irony of blogging is generally if you are actually doing anything worth blogging about, you probably are too busy to blog. I mean, I always have time for crazy rants about tan to let off steam, I guess, but anyway, the things that I have actually been doing lately:
--Last Weds: Of Montreal concert with Opt! They played my favorite three songs (The Party is Crashing Us, Gronlandic Edit, So Begins Our Alabee) among their first 4. I put bright red stickers on my boobs in an effort to out-hipster the hipsters, but largely just felt stupid. I did get a high five RE: my boob stickers from one chick, though, so. Opt tried to hook me up with one of the weirdo people opening for Of Montreal, but I only had eyes for the guy actually in Of Montreal with the crazy wings. This was the best part of the entire concert. Opt and I went to a coffeeshop beforehand, and we discussed nanites. I threatened several fellow concert goers with such gems as "I will stab you in the eye," or "I will shoot you and fuck the brain hole," loud enough that some of them could tell I was saying something, but not loud enough for them to tell what and get angry.
--Friday: The first time I've hung out with anyone from my new job. Moderately successful. Walmart Girl took me to a bar. Crappy in that: I hate bars, there was a cover, the drinks were expensive, as always I don't know how to properly order a drink I'll like, I didn't know her other friends and they didn't seem to enjoy talking. Awesome in that: the coverband playing WAS really awesome. They played some legitimately good songs very well, but they also played Sugar Hill Gang's Rapper's Delight (which, Walmart Girl was one of the people who hadn't known what that was when I was referencing it one day, so it was hilarious and awesome that I was able to be like, "SEEEEE!!" and she totally remembered) and Ice Ice Baby (I felt sad that I couldn't do the running man cause the floor was so slippery, and it would've been the only time in my life that I would've done the running man for legit reasons). We had fun dancing and singing along and acting like goofs. We talked a bit a couple times while she went out for a cigarette break. She reminds me a lot of Sista.
--Been hanging out with my folks a lot. Which I enjoy, despite all appearances. Though, on Sat we went to this orchard in El Paso that sucked pretty hard. But I do enjoy the fam, especially the 'Phews. Phew Harder has started smiling, now. The Phew likes running around in circles, still.
--Rented a bunch of movies. Man I have shitty taste.... the last few times I've tried to rent anything have turned out baaad. It's like I'm unable to pick a movie for myself or something.
--Last Weds: Of Montreal concert with Opt! They played my favorite three songs (The Party is Crashing Us, Gronlandic Edit, So Begins Our Alabee) among their first 4. I put bright red stickers on my boobs in an effort to out-hipster the hipsters, but largely just felt stupid. I did get a high five RE: my boob stickers from one chick, though, so. Opt tried to hook me up with one of the weirdo people opening for Of Montreal, but I only had eyes for the guy actually in Of Montreal with the crazy wings. This was the best part of the entire concert. Opt and I went to a coffeeshop beforehand, and we discussed nanites. I threatened several fellow concert goers with such gems as "I will stab you in the eye," or "I will shoot you and fuck the brain hole," loud enough that some of them could tell I was saying something, but not loud enough for them to tell what and get angry.
--Friday: The first time I've hung out with anyone from my new job. Moderately successful. Walmart Girl took me to a bar. Crappy in that: I hate bars, there was a cover, the drinks were expensive, as always I don't know how to properly order a drink I'll like, I didn't know her other friends and they didn't seem to enjoy talking. Awesome in that: the coverband playing WAS really awesome. They played some legitimately good songs very well, but they also played Sugar Hill Gang's Rapper's Delight (which, Walmart Girl was one of the people who hadn't known what that was when I was referencing it one day, so it was hilarious and awesome that I was able to be like, "SEEEEE!!" and she totally remembered) and Ice Ice Baby (I felt sad that I couldn't do the running man cause the floor was so slippery, and it would've been the only time in my life that I would've done the running man for legit reasons). We had fun dancing and singing along and acting like goofs. We talked a bit a couple times while she went out for a cigarette break. She reminds me a lot of Sista.
--Been hanging out with my folks a lot. Which I enjoy, despite all appearances. Though, on Sat we went to this orchard in El Paso that sucked pretty hard. But I do enjoy the fam, especially the 'Phews. Phew Harder has started smiling, now. The Phew likes running around in circles, still.
--Rented a bunch of movies. Man I have shitty taste.... the last few times I've tried to rent anything have turned out baaad. It's like I'm unable to pick a movie for myself or something.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
uhjhjk
So, I pretty much hate the world for being idiots and not liking what I like.
See.... some things I don't like, I get it why some people might like it. Some things I do like, I can see why it wouldn't be for everyone. But fuck, I'm really getting tired of decorating my new place when it seems like I get thwarted at EVERY GODDAMN TURN.
Now, all of a sudden, I'm being told that the tile I picked out for the kitchen is shitty. Because it's a dark, dark gray, almost black. I'm now told that I should'nt get it and that it will tank the resale value. WTF? How is black a crazy color? Is there some memo that I didn't get, where Black is the new neon pink? I'd really fucking like to know why these bitches tell me this like a month AFTER I pick out the tile, and a few weeks after I pick all the shit that's supposed to coordinate with said tile, so that if they convinced me into another tile I could pick out shit that actually went with it. Anyway, I was sort of like, "okay maybe they're right" until I saw the alternate tile they suggested, which was GODDDAMN FUCKING TAN. I am SO angry right now. I really, really hate the goddamn son of a bitchface morons who would rather buy a place with shitty tan tile than black. If my parents try to resell this place, and someone cites that they won't buy the place soley because it's not tan enough, I will seriously follow them back to their house with a shotgun and SHOOT THEM IN THE FACE AT POINT BLANK RANGE. These people do not deserve to live. And NOW people are giving me all this advice like, "if you want to do crazy shit with the walls, that's cool cause paint is cheap. Just buy neutral tile no one can hate." Well, when did black become hated? And fuck, my mom was already giving me shit about the paint I wanted, so I had to go semi neutral with that. I really don't appreciate ASSHOLE JERKS telling me "only a goth" would like my tile. Again, a month after I picked it. No one told me this shit when I picked it out. And I really, really don't understand the outcry about this. There are some things I did that are kind of crazy (at the urging of my mom, actually) that no one gives a shit about. Weird green carpet in one of the bedrooms, weird red tile on the kitchen backsplash.... I would change these things in a second, but apparently they are decisions actually liked. But anything I actually want.... crazy and stupid.
I really fucking hate how I feel about this. Like I'm destroying something by making it mine. I really wish that I could either just do whatever the fuck I want or they would just take the decision out of my hands altogether. This in between shit just makes me feel crappy and like a bad person for tanking the resale value, and mad at the world and it's FUCKING ASININE LOVE AFFAIR WITH THE BUTT UGLIEST COLOR OF ALL TIME, TAN.
See.... some things I don't like, I get it why some people might like it. Some things I do like, I can see why it wouldn't be for everyone. But fuck, I'm really getting tired of decorating my new place when it seems like I get thwarted at EVERY GODDAMN TURN.
Now, all of a sudden, I'm being told that the tile I picked out for the kitchen is shitty. Because it's a dark, dark gray, almost black. I'm now told that I should'nt get it and that it will tank the resale value. WTF? How is black a crazy color? Is there some memo that I didn't get, where Black is the new neon pink? I'd really fucking like to know why these bitches tell me this like a month AFTER I pick out the tile, and a few weeks after I pick all the shit that's supposed to coordinate with said tile, so that if they convinced me into another tile I could pick out shit that actually went with it. Anyway, I was sort of like, "okay maybe they're right" until I saw the alternate tile they suggested, which was GODDDAMN FUCKING TAN. I am SO angry right now. I really, really hate the goddamn son of a bitchface morons who would rather buy a place with shitty tan tile than black. If my parents try to resell this place, and someone cites that they won't buy the place soley because it's not tan enough, I will seriously follow them back to their house with a shotgun and SHOOT THEM IN THE FACE AT POINT BLANK RANGE. These people do not deserve to live. And NOW people are giving me all this advice like, "if you want to do crazy shit with the walls, that's cool cause paint is cheap. Just buy neutral tile no one can hate." Well, when did black become hated? And fuck, my mom was already giving me shit about the paint I wanted, so I had to go semi neutral with that. I really don't appreciate ASSHOLE JERKS telling me "only a goth" would like my tile. Again, a month after I picked it. No one told me this shit when I picked it out. And I really, really don't understand the outcry about this. There are some things I did that are kind of crazy (at the urging of my mom, actually) that no one gives a shit about. Weird green carpet in one of the bedrooms, weird red tile on the kitchen backsplash.... I would change these things in a second, but apparently they are decisions actually liked. But anything I actually want.... crazy and stupid.
I really fucking hate how I feel about this. Like I'm destroying something by making it mine. I really wish that I could either just do whatever the fuck I want or they would just take the decision out of my hands altogether. This in between shit just makes me feel crappy and like a bad person for tanking the resale value, and mad at the world and it's FUCKING ASININE LOVE AFFAIR WITH THE BUTT UGLIEST COLOR OF ALL TIME, TAN.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
mob tile
This goddamn tile thing is like the mob. Every time you think you are out, and free and clear, they draaaaaw you back in.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
wild wild life
Don't get excited, this comic is pretty bad. But I really had an itch to make that joke.
Also, until I get tired of it, I'm going to start quoting songs at the end of my posts like I used to. This should last approx. a week, it usually doesn't.
"Raaaaaaaaaaaawr!"
--Wildcat, Ratatatat (dunno how many tat's go on that band name so I stopped when I felt like it)
Hey, I didn't say they'd be good quotes
Also, until I get tired of it, I'm going to start quoting songs at the end of my posts like I used to. This should last approx. a week, it usually doesn't.
"Raaaaaaaaaaaawr!"
--Wildcat, Ratatatat (dunno how many tat's go on that band name so I stopped when I felt like it)
Hey, I didn't say they'd be good quotes
word
So I realized what I hate about my job is all the lying. Well, no, actually it's still the people yelling at me all day. But the lying's really stacking up too.
Really: I am not a great person. I don't not lie because I'm good, I don't lie because I fucking suck at it. Simple lies, sure. More than once I've said, "you don't look fat!" or "I totally bet your band is toing to make it!" But anything that involves a backstory, especially one I have to think up as I go along: no.
So actually: it's not so much even the lying. I've taken it upon myself to use one common lie over and over and I don't even feel bad about it. It is, ladies and gentlemen, "I don't have access to that information." Yeah, I don't have access to a lot of info, but I do have access to some, and I'm not allowed to give it out. Being told I don't have access doesn't really make the people less angry or mean to me, but it is a lot easier than explaining to people that I do have it but can't give it out and arguing with them whether or not it's a valid reason even though I'm obviously a peon who doesn't make the rules anyway. Whereas it's pretty damned easy to defend, "I can't give you something I don't have," though it doesn't stop a lot of people.
Which is to say, what I really hate is the weaselly "tell the truth but only so much as we want you to." Then, they don't even tell me enough about the business I'm in to convincingly bs or weasel. I know dick about car insurance. Someone had to tell me this week the difference between a quarter panel and a fender. I'm left sounding like a total jackass because even after months of doing this, people will still ask a question in some weirdass random way that it will catch me completely off guard and I can't think of a response quickly enough which then they pounce on my hesitation and rip me a new one.
The weird thing is, it really is a good company. I firmly believe that, and I also believe that they do good things for their employees, their customers, and their community. There is the occaisional shitbag agent, but everyone has those. But the call center is a hole, full of human suffering, misery, and despair. A "good" day for me is basically when I'm bored out of my fucking skull. I can count the number of times I've talked to customers memorably pleasant on my hand. I've LOST count of the assholes, dumbasses, and dumbass assholes.
Gah I know everyone's tired of me whining about my job. But this is my blog and you don't have to read it and I need to freaking vent.
PS I DID talk to one of my favorite agent's customers today. That cheered me up a tiny bit.
Really: I am not a great person. I don't not lie because I'm good, I don't lie because I fucking suck at it. Simple lies, sure. More than once I've said, "you don't look fat!" or "I totally bet your band is toing to make it!" But anything that involves a backstory, especially one I have to think up as I go along: no.
So actually: it's not so much even the lying. I've taken it upon myself to use one common lie over and over and I don't even feel bad about it. It is, ladies and gentlemen, "I don't have access to that information." Yeah, I don't have access to a lot of info, but I do have access to some, and I'm not allowed to give it out. Being told I don't have access doesn't really make the people less angry or mean to me, but it is a lot easier than explaining to people that I do have it but can't give it out and arguing with them whether or not it's a valid reason even though I'm obviously a peon who doesn't make the rules anyway. Whereas it's pretty damned easy to defend, "I can't give you something I don't have," though it doesn't stop a lot of people.
Which is to say, what I really hate is the weaselly "tell the truth but only so much as we want you to." Then, they don't even tell me enough about the business I'm in to convincingly bs or weasel. I know dick about car insurance. Someone had to tell me this week the difference between a quarter panel and a fender. I'm left sounding like a total jackass because even after months of doing this, people will still ask a question in some weirdass random way that it will catch me completely off guard and I can't think of a response quickly enough which then they pounce on my hesitation and rip me a new one.
The weird thing is, it really is a good company. I firmly believe that, and I also believe that they do good things for their employees, their customers, and their community. There is the occaisional shitbag agent, but everyone has those. But the call center is a hole, full of human suffering, misery, and despair. A "good" day for me is basically when I'm bored out of my fucking skull. I can count the number of times I've talked to customers memorably pleasant on my hand. I've LOST count of the assholes, dumbasses, and dumbass assholes.
Gah I know everyone's tired of me whining about my job. But this is my blog and you don't have to read it and I need to freaking vent.
PS I DID talk to one of my favorite agent's customers today. That cheered me up a tiny bit.
Monday, October 01, 2007
uh oh
Okay, so I was listening to this Sufjan Stevens playlist I have on my MP3 player. And... somehow I got Sublime on there. Between two very sad, slow Sufjan songs. This is.... very jarring.
Aside from style differences, which is probably the most hilarious thing but doesn't mean anything to you if you're not familiar with both of these bands, I want you to look at the lyrics
Song before Sublime: Flint
Lyrics:
"Since the first of June
Lost my job
And lost my room
I pretend to try
Even if I tried alone"
"It's the same outside
Driving to the riverside
I pretend to cry
Even if I cried alone"
Sublime. Wrong Way. Starts with:
"Annie's 12 years old
In two more she'll be a whore"
Then of course, my favorite:
"A cigarette
Pressed between her lips
But I'm starin' at her tits
It's the wrong way
Strong if I can
But I am only a man
So I take her to the can"
Song after Sublime: For the Widows
Lyrics:
"I've have called you children
I have called you son
What is there to answer
If I'm the only one
Morning comes in Paradise
Morning comes in light
Still I must obey
Still I must invite
"I was dressed in embarassment
I was dressed in white
If you had a part of me
Will you take your time
Even if I come back
Even if I die
Is there some idea
To replace my life"
Good times. It gave me a laugh.
Aside from style differences, which is probably the most hilarious thing but doesn't mean anything to you if you're not familiar with both of these bands, I want you to look at the lyrics
Song before Sublime: Flint
Lyrics:
"Since the first of June
Lost my job
And lost my room
I pretend to try
Even if I tried alone"
"It's the same outside
Driving to the riverside
I pretend to cry
Even if I cried alone"
Sublime. Wrong Way. Starts with:
"Annie's 12 years old
In two more she'll be a whore"
Then of course, my favorite:
"A cigarette
Pressed between her lips
But I'm starin' at her tits
It's the wrong way
Strong if I can
But I am only a man
So I take her to the can"
Song after Sublime: For the Widows
Lyrics:
"I've have called you children
I have called you son
What is there to answer
If I'm the only one
Morning comes in Paradise
Morning comes in light
Still I must obey
Still I must invite
"I was dressed in embarassment
I was dressed in white
If you had a part of me
Will you take your time
Even if I come back
Even if I die
Is there some idea
To replace my life"
Good times. It gave me a laugh.
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