Notes on 007:

1) I like to stand on the other side of the pet gate when he's trying to get through and say, "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!" and cackle maniacally.

2) He likes to get back at me by moving the litter box and peeing where it would've been had he not moved it

3) I plan to take a picture of me with him when I'm all bridesmaided up and label it "Prom 2009"

4) I actually didn't end up doing it, but when I hadn't told my dad about 007 yet, I wanted to be like, "Well... I invited you over here to meet someone special. He moved in with me a few days ago, I found him on the internet about two months ago. I was afraid you wouldn't like him, he's a little weird.... he's vegetarian, way shorter than me, and really quiet." and then be like, "tada! rabbit!"

So I made myself this kind of ghetto pet gate out of couch cushions and whatever's laying around. It's not tall enough (or sturdy enough) to last forever, but let me tell you--it's an improvement from me laying there and manually keeping him off the carpet.

One--I can step away from the kitchen for a second if I need to do something. I was getting kind of tired of having to watch him constantly when I had him out and not being able to go to the bathroom or anything.

Two--I think he finds it maddening that he can't get to the carpet, and when I was the barrier he bit me. Now he's biting couch cushions, my suitcase, and my old computer. I don't want him to like chew on any of those things but biting's fine because it means it's not my tender flesh.

Three--now that I'm not stuck on the edge being border patrol I can actually get in there and hang out with him. I still don't think he loves me or anything but I actually sort of got him to play with me tonight, I ran around and he chased me. He seemed to lose interest somewhat easily, but it was fun for a little while.

So I spent the morning crying because my rabbit doesn't like me. The reason I got a pet was so that I wouldn't have to feel lonely all the time, and I could have someone to love me that won't gradually drift away or move away. I like dogs, but we can't have them in our building. Cats seem to be like russian roulette, they can be absolutely crazy at their worst, and at best seem kind of indifferent to people. And then I met someone's rabbit and it seemed like it liked people so I got one of my own. I guess I fucked up and didn't realize they can have very different personalities, just like cats.

So anyway 007 is not afraid of me at all, he'll walk right up to me (usually when I'm laying in between him and the carpet and he wants to get to the carpet). But if I try to pet him he goes away. He doesn't like being held, and has now started biting me. It doesn't really hurt that much, he doesn't have sharp teeth like a cat or dog, but it hurts my feelings. I've tried to make him stop, using methods the lady who gave him to me said, and from house rabbit society, but it hasn't made him stop.

I'm not going to get rid of him or anything, I abhor people who abandon pets. And it's not his fault I had unrealistic expectations of him. But it does kind of suck that I have invested and will continue to invest so much time and money taking care of him just to have him dislike me.

This is what the lady I bought him from said, but I don't think she's right, he's clearly not scared of me or anything (Squiggy is what they call 007 over there):

No, you are not bothering me... That's what we are here for!

Remember, he is a rabbit not a dog and while rabbits can have a very social personality and enjoy being petted (like a dog/cat), not all will. Try talking to him softly...open his door and reach in slowly, scratch (or try too) his head just behind his ears. He could be stressed from moving to a new home, but, we might not ever know. It's hard to "read" a rabbits mind!! I have tried but failed! LOL

It may just take time... I mean several months not weeks to get him to trust you. They are prey animals and sometimes find it hard to trust new people right away. There are others like his dad, Squirt, that love EVERYONE!! But again, he is a rarity in the rabbit world :)

So, I made a catastrophic mistake last night, in that I accidently let 007 get to the carpeted area of my house. He didn't whiz (wiz?), thank god, but now he's absolutely obsessed with getting over there. I think I'm going to have to get a pet gate or something. I feel like I am Goldfinger or something, trying to thwart his mission. But I don't have lots of gold or cool lasers. I'm probably just the wimpy accountant guy from the second to last movie who cries blood.

Bond..... James Bond



More to come!

I don't really feel like recounting my entire trip to AZ.... maybe in bits and pieces but one long thing just seems tiring. Maybe I'll be novel and actually just tell people when I hang out with them and ask. But, in summary: good times. Two especially nice things were 1) getting to know Brooke, Ryan's wife. I'd met her before and liked her, but never really talked in depth. I'm glad to know she enjoys my poo stories. Even to the point of requesting I tell them again to other people she knows.

2) Mike, who is Ryan's friend, and I've technically known even longer than Ryan, used to be an OK guy but has turned into a dick the last few years. Somehow, he's magically turned into a good guy! I hear the two reasons are 1) moving out of his friend's garage into a nicer place and 2) the biggest reason seems to be his new girlfriend. If this is true, this woman is a saint and I request that she immediately marry him. I mean, I did meet her, and she seems nice, but she must have some sort of "guy whisperer" skill.

Someday I'll have some pictures up and all that.

The other new thing is obv. the rabbit. I think he is going to be 007. He likes to run around the kitchen like mad, and then like freeze when he hears a noise that startles him. It's pretty funny. It does make him seem like he's performing an elaborate secret mission he doesn't want me to know about. Well, other than the mission I do know about, wanting to get onto the carpet to soil it and chewing all the most inappropriate objects (Screaming INAPPROPRIATE! at him in a British accent doesn't seem to stop it).

He is adorable despite being smelly (he himself isn't smelly but is basically a cute hoppy waste machine). I've sort of given up potty training for now... the site I was going by says you watch them like a hawk and make them go to the litter box when they're about to pee or poop, but I've stared at that rabbit's butt for hours at a time and still can't tell if he's pooping or not. I've literally said, "are you pooping?" to him enough times that he probably thinks it's his name. I figure I'll start again later when I'm more likely to have developed rabbit pooping senses and/or when he's older, cause I read young ones are a little harder to train.

I don't know what's in his pea brain re: chewing things though. I mean I know he has to chew things and that he's hardwired to do it. But I got him a bunch of toys and chew blocks and stuff, he's not that excited about it. But if it is plastic and could hurt him, he's all over that. Plus he seems to like chewing on my kitchen table and chairs. Which doesn't peeve me that much because I didn't want them in the first place and they were free, but I don't want him to make a habit of chewing on my furniture, and I definitely don't want him to target my cabinets next.

I got my rabbit today! He seems a little frightened of my picking him up, and I have a lot of work to do with regards to potty training, but all in all, a positive experience. And if you think MY poop stories are gross, try a rabbit poop story on for size:

Rabbits produce two kinds of poop. One kind are called cecotropes, which the rabbits must eat again because they have a bacteria that rabbits need. This is according to my poop of the day calendar, which says this happens in the middle of the night so humans rarely witness it.

So I saw my rabbit licking himself this afternoon, and I think he's trying to clean some glands down there or his genitals, but then he takes his mouth away and starts chewing. Yes, he eats the poop directly from his own butt.

Talk about a pet with similar interests to mine! I mean... ewww, gross!

I'm home safe and sound, yay! More details soon!

Hey, losers! I'll be in AZ until the 20th.... hope ya miss me!

I probably won't be coming back.... Ryan and Brooke are taking me to a cabin in the woods. Ryan is the guy who carries around a signed note from me in his wallet that says he can do whatever he wants with my corpse when I'm dead.

Oh well, at least I'll be buried surrounded by the things I love - dead babies and burnt hookers!

So my car's radiator cracked on Saturday. My dad was surprised, he thought a radiator pretty much lasted forever. The repair guy pointed out that we did get 15 years out of this one.

My dad said he didn't know how much it would cost to repair it, and my car is pretty old, so I might have to get rid of it. Happily, though, the repair cost about $300 and my car's still worth about $3,000, so I get to keep the old girl. I'm really glad, I'm freakishly attached to my car.

The funny bit is I was telling Josh how great Toyotas are and how my car is so awesome and it's lasted forever with only minor repairs.... right when it started smoking and I had to pull over somewhere. Then we had to walk home. Good news is... we were really close to home. Esp. since we were returning from Meijer where he had bought some frozen food items.

Aside from the unscheduled car difficulties, we had a good time. We played Skee ball and air hockey at Wehrenberg and ate fruit salad (I liked the fruit salad Deanna made for Julie's bachelorette party so much that I tried making my own and it was a success) and chicken strips and went to BBB where I bought a pet carrier and to Borders where I got a hand crafted soda.

Today I took my dad out to lunch to sort of thank him for letting me borrow his car while mine was busted and paying for the repair. I should actually do that more often.... he ALWAYS pays when we go out.

I think tomorrow we're going to see the new Star Trek. Woo!

In which I whine about minor things

I am sore.... Somewhat from the hike, a lot from the badminton. I had no idea badminton was so intense. It never hurt in PE back in the day. I'm finally an old lady.

Both were worth it though.

What was not worth it, however, was pinching the hell out of my finger on a toastmasters collapsible podium tonight. That was mainly stupidity on my part, I had a more minor pinching on another finger not that long before, you'd think it would teach me to be more careful.

That is all.

Today: pretty awesome. We had a work meeting and they let us take it to a park. The weather was beautiful, we got to eat good food, have fun playing badminton, and get paid for all of it. I especially liked the badminton, I haven't played it in years! I'm bad at it, but everyone else was too, and we all had a good time. It's amazing how fast you can bond with people you normally don't think you have much in common with once you get playing a sport or game or something. Pretty sweet.

So yes, yesterday was hiking and it was fun!

So we kidnapped Julie, and I decided to feed her crazy misinformation. This included everything from hamster strippers to killing her and putting her in a shallow grave so that I could dig her back up whenever I wanted to have sex with her.

We passed a cop at one point, and we were like, "Man.... it's a good thing Julie knows we're joking about all this."

We (briefly) got semi-lost in a small town named Tonica. They were having a town-wide garage sale and we told Julie that all we had planned was the garage sale (she sort of knew we were lost though and didn't mean it). But like I said, we found our way back quickly.

The weather, though we had worried it would be bad, was absolutely beautiful. We grilled, which went off without a hitch. There was lots of tasty food! Julie and I (the ones with the picky digestive systems) were kind of worried that it would give us the poops (for me in particular eating + walking is an almost guaranteed poop... when I was thinking of this principle I got a terrible flashback to an IKEA trip that was marred by constant searches to get back to the toilet). But it agreed with both of us. We also gave her crazy joke gifts, and good real gifts.

Then we of course hiked. I have more photos of waterfalls than you can shake a stick at now, and it's pretty sweet.

Like I said: a really good day.

I had a good day.

I'm excited, I'm going hiking tomorrow! In the words of State Farm:

"I had too much lemonade at the picnic" meets "I've always wanted to pee over the edge of a canyon....." Yeah, I'm there!

Outdoor fuckin' starts today.