Is there any reason on god's green earth I should want a Magic Bullet as opposed to a blender and/or food processor? Cause I already have a blender and if I wanted it, I could probably have mom's food processor as well.
Anyway, I guess my mom bought a magic bullet (am I weird for thinking of the Kennedy assasination like, EVERY time I read the name of this thing?) shortly before she got sick, so this thing is basically like brand new, and my dad wants to know if I want it. Mom did have the occaisional penchant for buying a strange kitchen gadget, which she usually didn't end up using. But the bizarre thing is--most of the things she's gotten in the past at least seem cool, or like they would be cool if they worked. Whereas... I look at this thing and go, "It's a blender. I already have a blender. What is the difference?" Honestly, has anyone seen the infomercial, or read the description on the link and see any benefit whatsoever from this thing over a blender?
I dunno. Maybe I should still take it even if it is poopy... The blender I do have is kind of an old ghetto one which I recieved from, weirdly enough, the antichrist,* who didn't want it anymore. But it seems annoying to have to keep all the stupid attachments & different cups for it all over. Whereas a blender is a blender.
For that matter--what is the difference between a blender and a food processor, exactly? I've never been 100% clear on that.
___
* My ex-boss. Honestly, this random act of kindness (i.e. giving me a blender that actually works semi-alright most of the time) from someone who hated me so much always puzzles me whenever I blend. I often wonder if it was supposed to electrocute me or something and failed in its mission.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I hate, hate, hate hanging out with my dad lately. I mean I don't mind doing most stuff with him, but what he wants to do lately is make my sister and me paw through my mom's stuff and decide what we want to take. I'd just like one goddamn day off, one time to see him, where it's not this shit. I hate going through my own things, or be forced into doing anything when I'm not in a mood to do it, much less this stuff. Plus he's trying to make me take things I don't even want.
I got in a fight with him and my sister. He thought I would like a pot she had recently bought to make this one kind of soup. Which I do--that soup was one of our family traditions, and delicious besides. No one else seems to want to bother. But then I got to asking him how I should do it--because all the recipes on the internet for making beef stock are full of this BS extra work I don't think mom ever did. He confirmed yes, all she did was boil the soup bones. I told him the main reason I was looking at recipes was cause I was trying to get an idea of how much beef you needed per how much water.
He was telling me he thought he knew how much because he knew how much she used before. But.... the pot he's giving me, it's half the size of the one she used. It's still one bigass pot, and more than big enough, but it's not going to be reliable for measurements. I tried to tell him that, and him and Lori kept telling me that it's more than big enough, even though I told them over and over I realized that. It sort of culminated with him asking me why I never asked her when she was around, and me screaming, "I did, she didn't want to just tell me, we were going to do it together, but I guess now we never will."
Then I went away to cry. Then later my dad noticed, and asked me what was wrong and I told him, "Mom is dead, that's what's wrong," angrily.
The day sucked anyway... I tried to make fresh scones for him and my sister and they weren't interested. Why I met with so much resistance for actually trying to do something nice for people, I don't know. I mean, I'd already made the dough all I had to do is pop it in the oven for 15 minutes.
Then we went to lunch and I got stuck in one of those positions where you feel like a retard because the person at the counter says next and you can't tell if they're talking to you or not and you get confused. I tried to just make my sister go first, because she kept telling me to go up there because she thought we were next, and she randomly decided she didn't want to and kept making me. I started yelling at her that if she is so sure that they want us next she should talk to them. Then she took that as license to not only order first, but to order FOR me. Then I tried to tell her I wanted the vegetables off mine and she got mad at me and told me to talk to the lady at the counter and tell her that, which I didn't want to because she'd already seen me acting like a schizophrenic shouting at my sister this whole time and probably hated me.
Then at dinner her fucking kid loudly cried for like 10 minutes because they didn't have chocolate milk at the restaurant. Instead of yelling at him to stop or ignoring him, she kept trying to placate him with offers of other drinks he didn't want, and making the poor waiter stand there waiting for our order while she did it. At one point she said, "does anybody have a knife?" because she needed to cut up food for her other crying kid (this kid's crying was legit--he's a baby and had a cold) and I thought, "If I had access to a knife, your firstborn would not be alive right now."
The one good thing that happened today is I've pretty much been vindicated RE: how awful my previous downstairs neighbors were. I went to the second condo assoc. meeting they've actually told me about since I've lived here and I mentioned the vandalization of my car--and another person actually had those bastards BREAK INTO THEIR CAR after having an altercation with them. So yeah--it is DEFINITELY safe to say that those assholes slashed my tires, keyed my car twice, and probably even stole my tire iron. Jokes on you though, fuckers: I have triple A and had no intention of changing my own tire anyway. But it WAS annoying trying to find it later. Either way I'm glad they moved. The guy living there now is related to them somehow, but thankfully seems a lot less assholey.
I got in a fight with him and my sister. He thought I would like a pot she had recently bought to make this one kind of soup. Which I do--that soup was one of our family traditions, and delicious besides. No one else seems to want to bother. But then I got to asking him how I should do it--because all the recipes on the internet for making beef stock are full of this BS extra work I don't think mom ever did. He confirmed yes, all she did was boil the soup bones. I told him the main reason I was looking at recipes was cause I was trying to get an idea of how much beef you needed per how much water.
He was telling me he thought he knew how much because he knew how much she used before. But.... the pot he's giving me, it's half the size of the one she used. It's still one bigass pot, and more than big enough, but it's not going to be reliable for measurements. I tried to tell him that, and him and Lori kept telling me that it's more than big enough, even though I told them over and over I realized that. It sort of culminated with him asking me why I never asked her when she was around, and me screaming, "I did, she didn't want to just tell me, we were going to do it together, but I guess now we never will."
Then I went away to cry. Then later my dad noticed, and asked me what was wrong and I told him, "Mom is dead, that's what's wrong," angrily.
The day sucked anyway... I tried to make fresh scones for him and my sister and they weren't interested. Why I met with so much resistance for actually trying to do something nice for people, I don't know. I mean, I'd already made the dough all I had to do is pop it in the oven for 15 minutes.
Then we went to lunch and I got stuck in one of those positions where you feel like a retard because the person at the counter says next and you can't tell if they're talking to you or not and you get confused. I tried to just make my sister go first, because she kept telling me to go up there because she thought we were next, and she randomly decided she didn't want to and kept making me. I started yelling at her that if she is so sure that they want us next she should talk to them. Then she took that as license to not only order first, but to order FOR me. Then I tried to tell her I wanted the vegetables off mine and she got mad at me and told me to talk to the lady at the counter and tell her that, which I didn't want to because she'd already seen me acting like a schizophrenic shouting at my sister this whole time and probably hated me.
Then at dinner her fucking kid loudly cried for like 10 minutes because they didn't have chocolate milk at the restaurant. Instead of yelling at him to stop or ignoring him, she kept trying to placate him with offers of other drinks he didn't want, and making the poor waiter stand there waiting for our order while she did it. At one point she said, "does anybody have a knife?" because she needed to cut up food for her other crying kid (this kid's crying was legit--he's a baby and had a cold) and I thought, "If I had access to a knife, your firstborn would not be alive right now."
The one good thing that happened today is I've pretty much been vindicated RE: how awful my previous downstairs neighbors were. I went to the second condo assoc. meeting they've actually told me about since I've lived here and I mentioned the vandalization of my car--and another person actually had those bastards BREAK INTO THEIR CAR after having an altercation with them. So yeah--it is DEFINITELY safe to say that those assholes slashed my tires, keyed my car twice, and probably even stole my tire iron. Jokes on you though, fuckers: I have triple A and had no intention of changing my own tire anyway. But it WAS annoying trying to find it later. Either way I'm glad they moved. The guy living there now is related to them somehow, but thankfully seems a lot less assholey.
Yay
Nerdy music talk that won't mean anything to most people:
I'm really excited about the new Ben Folds album. It's actually the only music this year I've really gotten excited over other than the new Wolf Parade (which was a total disappointment). I pre-ordered it, and they gave me two tracks instantly.
I really like that these two tracks seem richer and more orchestral (i.e. more different instruments). More Rockin' the Suburbs than Songs for Silverman. Which is good considering I love the first and am apathetic on the last.
I also love that Hiroshima (BBB Benny Hits His Head) is SO Ben. Anyone can write a good song about something like love. It takes a special, special person to write a good song about doing something retardedly embarassing like falling down in front of a large group of Japanese people. And he makes it somehow actually poetic, but funny and down to earth as the actual incident.
It was the start of the show
Hiroshima
and the people were shouting my name
as the house lights came down
and the spotlight followed me out
I waved down low to the crowd
as I busted ass on the front of the stage
They're watching me, watching me fall
Maybe it was the course of adrenaline
as the concrete rose to meet my face
Maybe it was the sheer embarrassment
that kept me concious and standing as I
crawled back on the stage
and started pounding out the first song
There was blood on the keyboard...
..Oh my God.
They're watching me, watching me fall
You wanna see what's in my head?
You wanna see what's in my head?
You wanna see what's in my head?
Check it out 'cause;
I got pictures of what's in my head
I got pictures of what's in my head
They took of me in Tokyo
And I brought 'em back with me to the USA
They're watching me, watching me fall
I'm really excited about the new Ben Folds album. It's actually the only music this year I've really gotten excited over other than the new Wolf Parade (which was a total disappointment). I pre-ordered it, and they gave me two tracks instantly.
I really like that these two tracks seem richer and more orchestral (i.e. more different instruments). More Rockin' the Suburbs than Songs for Silverman. Which is good considering I love the first and am apathetic on the last.
I also love that Hiroshima (BBB Benny Hits His Head) is SO Ben. Anyone can write a good song about something like love. It takes a special, special person to write a good song about doing something retardedly embarassing like falling down in front of a large group of Japanese people. And he makes it somehow actually poetic, but funny and down to earth as the actual incident.
It was the start of the show
Hiroshima
and the people were shouting my name
as the house lights came down
and the spotlight followed me out
I waved down low to the crowd
as I busted ass on the front of the stage
They're watching me, watching me fall
Maybe it was the course of adrenaline
as the concrete rose to meet my face
Maybe it was the sheer embarrassment
that kept me concious and standing as I
crawled back on the stage
and started pounding out the first song
There was blood on the keyboard...
..Oh my God.
They're watching me, watching me fall
You wanna see what's in my head?
You wanna see what's in my head?
You wanna see what's in my head?
Check it out 'cause;
I got pictures of what's in my head
I got pictures of what's in my head
They took of me in Tokyo
And I brought 'em back with me to the USA
They're watching me, watching me fall
Monday, August 25, 2008
It's been a very good week. Work has been slow, slow, slow (though that will change today), which has been nice. Today I enjoyed my first real non-imaginary tea party with the gals (Anna, Julie, Deanna) and it was very enjoyable. Then the guys (Pat, Lothar) joined us, which was nice too. Also awesome: Julie is moving to BN again!
Saturday I had peeps over for dinner, and it went swell. People liked my cooking, we played fun games, and had pie.
Before that I had Josh over. He praises all of the cooking repetoire I am slowly developing, which makes me feel good. We watched some mad awesome TV together and played games. Plus he gave me some much-needed music to replace what I lost.
Before that, I made roast beef for the first time! Special thanks goes to Tina, who put up with my incessant interogation about the process.
Saturday I had peeps over for dinner, and it went swell. People liked my cooking, we played fun games, and had pie.
Before that I had Josh over. He praises all of the cooking repetoire I am slowly developing, which makes me feel good. We watched some mad awesome TV together and played games. Plus he gave me some much-needed music to replace what I lost.
Before that, I made roast beef for the first time! Special thanks goes to Tina, who put up with my incessant interogation about the process.
comics
The first two are mostly related to my mom's funeral:
This one is designed to get two songs in your head at once:
This one just is.
This one is designed to get two songs in your head at once:
This one just is.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
I would walk
I've seen this sort of thing a million times, done better or done worse. But this one was so cute I have to pass it on.
Oh, and what the hell:
First one, courtesy of Tina, second one: All me, baby.
Oh, and what the hell:
First one, courtesy of Tina, second one: All me, baby.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I had the worst call at work last night I've had in a very long time. The worst, perhaps, since the time I first started working there and EVERY call seemed worse than it was cause I didn't know how to handle the customers yet.
I've heard the definition of crazy is someone doing the same thing over and over again--and expecting a totally different outcome from their previous efforts. And boy oh boy, was this lady crazy. Now, I don't know why, but I frequently will have people ask me the same question 3 or 4 times and expect me to suddenly change my tune. But I've never had someone who asks me the same 2 or 3 questions over and over for a solid half hour (my average call handle time is about 5 minutes if that gives you a picture on how long I had to deal with this woman). You know, if she doesn't believe my answers, which is the only reason I can see that she might've been doing this, I'm not sure why she didn't just go and ask someone else at a certain point.
Anyway, the other really, really annoying thing about this lady is that she kept interupting me, and then getting mad when I wouldn't stop so that she could ask me the same question for the 80th time. I keep resisting the urge to use the term "pet peeve," since this would annoy anyone, but I get insane with rage when this happens. I don't get mad at interuptions so much--everyone does it. It's when the person actually gets mad at me for finishing my goddamn sentence despite their interuption so that they can get the fucking information they're badgering me about in the first place. If I wait for them (especially this lady) to finish their thought after they interupt me, I will only have to start the sentence over again and have them interupt me again, and NEVER get to the goddamn point.
But I also had one of the best calls too. Now my favorite call ever is still the guy who called in thinking we were publisher's clearing house and wouldn't believe me that we were not. But this is up there. I answer the phone, and I don't know if this person is saying it to me or someone in the background (cause I hung up right away) but their response was, "I'm going to fuck your ass, you fuck ass nigger." I don't know why, but random profanity possibly directed at me, including a slur meant for a race I'm not even a part of, made me laugh. We were having an exeptionally slow day so I turned to a couple of coworkers.
"I just got called an F-word, A-word, N-word."
"What?"
"F-word, A-word, N-word. I'm pretty sure I'll get fired if I tell you straight out, especially the last one."
"That's weird."
"Yeah, especially since, to the best of my knowledge, I don't sound particularly ethnically diverse."
"Yes you do."
"What?"
"You sound like a robot."
"I don't think people use racial slurs on robots."
"Of course they do! I use racial slurs on robots all the time! They plan to overthrow us."
So there are funny people at work--the rare times I actually am able to speak to them.
But in general, I got off work in a really good mood. I'm set to hang out with this chick from work today. We get along really well but for whatever reason have not made the transition to "hang out outside work" very often before this and it has never stuck. But I'm hoping this time!
I'm also going to start working on this new project that I'm very excited about. It's basically creating a folder in outlook for stuff for my team. I'm excited about it because 1) it is time off the phones, invaluable for someone in my position 2) it requires organizing things, which I have a nerdy love of, so I think I'll actually like DOING the project*, and 3) part of it is going to be picking a rep on my team each month to write about and let everyone get to know. Which... I don't think it will be as cool as the employee of the month posters I used to do for everyone at Borders, but I bet I can get a little creativity into it, and I'll really like that as well 4) It looks awesome to anyone who might be willing to promote me that I took the initiative to suggest this, then create it and maintain it, even give presentations on it to the team.
_____
* Anyone who knows me knows I'm not an organized person, I have crap all over my house. But, I really DO have a weird love of going through my CD's and alphabetizing them, or going through my books and organizing them, or even trying to organize things in my computer files (though that last is a losing battle).
I've heard the definition of crazy is someone doing the same thing over and over again--and expecting a totally different outcome from their previous efforts. And boy oh boy, was this lady crazy. Now, I don't know why, but I frequently will have people ask me the same question 3 or 4 times and expect me to suddenly change my tune. But I've never had someone who asks me the same 2 or 3 questions over and over for a solid half hour (my average call handle time is about 5 minutes if that gives you a picture on how long I had to deal with this woman). You know, if she doesn't believe my answers, which is the only reason I can see that she might've been doing this, I'm not sure why she didn't just go and ask someone else at a certain point.
Anyway, the other really, really annoying thing about this lady is that she kept interupting me, and then getting mad when I wouldn't stop so that she could ask me the same question for the 80th time. I keep resisting the urge to use the term "pet peeve," since this would annoy anyone, but I get insane with rage when this happens. I don't get mad at interuptions so much--everyone does it. It's when the person actually gets mad at me for finishing my goddamn sentence despite their interuption so that they can get the fucking information they're badgering me about in the first place. If I wait for them (especially this lady) to finish their thought after they interupt me, I will only have to start the sentence over again and have them interupt me again, and NEVER get to the goddamn point.
But I also had one of the best calls too. Now my favorite call ever is still the guy who called in thinking we were publisher's clearing house and wouldn't believe me that we were not. But this is up there. I answer the phone, and I don't know if this person is saying it to me or someone in the background (cause I hung up right away) but their response was, "I'm going to fuck your ass, you fuck ass nigger." I don't know why, but random profanity possibly directed at me, including a slur meant for a race I'm not even a part of, made me laugh. We were having an exeptionally slow day so I turned to a couple of coworkers.
"I just got called an F-word, A-word, N-word."
"What?"
"F-word, A-word, N-word. I'm pretty sure I'll get fired if I tell you straight out, especially the last one."
"That's weird."
"Yeah, especially since, to the best of my knowledge, I don't sound particularly ethnically diverse."
"Yes you do."
"What?"
"You sound like a robot."
"I don't think people use racial slurs on robots."
"Of course they do! I use racial slurs on robots all the time! They plan to overthrow us."
So there are funny people at work--the rare times I actually am able to speak to them.
But in general, I got off work in a really good mood. I'm set to hang out with this chick from work today. We get along really well but for whatever reason have not made the transition to "hang out outside work" very often before this and it has never stuck. But I'm hoping this time!
I'm also going to start working on this new project that I'm very excited about. It's basically creating a folder in outlook for stuff for my team. I'm excited about it because 1) it is time off the phones, invaluable for someone in my position 2) it requires organizing things, which I have a nerdy love of, so I think I'll actually like DOING the project*, and 3) part of it is going to be picking a rep on my team each month to write about and let everyone get to know. Which... I don't think it will be as cool as the employee of the month posters I used to do for everyone at Borders, but I bet I can get a little creativity into it, and I'll really like that as well 4) It looks awesome to anyone who might be willing to promote me that I took the initiative to suggest this, then create it and maintain it, even give presentations on it to the team.
_____
* Anyone who knows me knows I'm not an organized person, I have crap all over my house. But, I really DO have a weird love of going through my CD's and alphabetizing them, or going through my books and organizing them, or even trying to organize things in my computer files (though that last is a losing battle).
Monday, August 18, 2008
the dashboard melted but we still had the radio
It's been an interesting few days. Obviously not pleasant. I've cried some, but I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be. Part of me is still waiting for it to happen. Part of me thinks I already worked through most of the grief during various meltdowns I had while mom was still sick. I'm still not sure.
Also, thanks to everyone who has offered support.
Also, thanks to everyone who has offered support.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
I struggled quite a bit on how to put this, as text seems cold and unemotional. I guess I myself feel cold and unemotional, because I can't believe that it happened at all, much less this fast.
My mom died tonight. It's weird to think of someone having cancer going suddenly, but she did. She was stable for a few months, and rapidly deteriorated the last few days, especially today.
My mom died tonight. It's weird to think of someone having cancer going suddenly, but she did. She was stable for a few months, and rapidly deteriorated the last few days, especially today.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Who wants to be a pal?
So I'm going to the train station at 9:40 AM on Weds the 13th. My dad might be able to take me, but things with my mom are complicated right now (which makes me feel like even more of a douche for leaving town, but I already paid for the train tickets) so he might not be able to. Does anyone want to be my backup? I'll give you blueberry pie.... delicious pie...
I don't know how well this new obsession with baking is going to treat my already expanding waistline, but I kind of enjoy that it gives me something to do at night to distract me when I'm alone with my dumb thoughts. And it feels more respectable than playing with imaginary ponies, which is what I previously* did.
Anyway, it feels awesome when I succeed. Tonight I made blueberry scones and they were hella awesome. I don't know how well they'll keep, given the juiciness of the blueberries, but I will probably pawn some off on my dad tomorrow.... along with portions of two pies and (hopefully--it'll be my first effort at it) homemade whipped cream. I didn't even follow the recipe properly. It said to use lemon zest, but damn Kroger's eyes! they didn't have any so I used some key limes I had sitting around. It said to use lemon yogurt *glares at Kroger again* but I used vanilla. Then also there was this glaze to put on them, but I forgot to buy powdered sugar, so I just left it off. Still: awesome.
It makes me wonder why brownies hate me so much even though I completely follow directions when making them.
Anyway, I gotta keep making blueberry stuff until I'm out of blueberries. I have 6 pounds of them in my fridge right now because Meijer, glorious Meijer *glares daggers at Kroger again* has them on sale 2lbs for $4.40. And then I decided I love pies so I've been making Key Lime too (that's what the homemade whipped cream is going to be for) and lately have found a boatload of other pie recipes on the internet I'm itching to try.
__________
* Oh, who am I kidding, even with the baking I'm still playing Howrse like 4 hours per day
Anyway, it feels awesome when I succeed. Tonight I made blueberry scones and they were hella awesome. I don't know how well they'll keep, given the juiciness of the blueberries, but I will probably pawn some off on my dad tomorrow.... along with portions of two pies and (hopefully--it'll be my first effort at it) homemade whipped cream. I didn't even follow the recipe properly. It said to use lemon zest, but damn Kroger's eyes! they didn't have any so I used some key limes I had sitting around. It said to use lemon yogurt *glares at Kroger again* but I used vanilla. Then also there was this glaze to put on them, but I forgot to buy powdered sugar, so I just left it off. Still: awesome.
It makes me wonder why brownies hate me so much even though I completely follow directions when making them.
Anyway, I gotta keep making blueberry stuff until I'm out of blueberries. I have 6 pounds of them in my fridge right now because Meijer, glorious Meijer *glares daggers at Kroger again* has them on sale 2lbs for $4.40. And then I decided I love pies so I've been making Key Lime too (that's what the homemade whipped cream is going to be for) and lately have found a boatload of other pie recipes on the internet I'm itching to try.
__________
* Oh, who am I kidding, even with the baking I'm still playing Howrse like 4 hours per day
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Veeeedio
If you have facebook, and would like to stalk me, here are the only two videos that I know of on the internet that have me not using any racial slurs.
Hulk Smash Diet
General jackassery
Hulk Smash Diet
General jackassery
God fucking damn. I was so happy these last few days, and within a matter of hours of getting home, I'm already crying. What is wrong with me?
It's been a very good couple of days. I have developed quite a flair for pie making; I never realized it was quite this easy. Anna helped me out with a second blueberry pie, and we hung out and had a great time. A conversation with her is what inspired the previous comic (that and Rebecca & I's running obsession with people who do Foley for any movie).
Then the day after that, I made a key-lime pie. Which, again, is crazy easy. I didn't even properly follow the instructions and I still got it right. It's also cheaper than blueberry pie, now that the crazy awesome blueberry sale at Meijer is over now.
Then Lothar & I went to Julie's house for a couple days. Which was AWESOME.
1) We took the Foley joke to a whole new level. So now, if I had to, I probably could do Foley for a porno now, especially if it involved whale bestiality or wookiees.
2) I learned what a buttplug is shaped like, then used this knowledge to create a makeshift one out of Julie's bedpost.
3) Barbecue AWESOME
4) I saw a shooting star
And much more. Plus it was great to not have work for two days, and to get the hell out of this town. I mean, I don't have the animosity towards this town that a lot of people do, but it's nice to get a change of scenery once in awhile. And it was definitely good to see Julie for a more extended stretch of time.
Then the day after that, I made a key-lime pie. Which, again, is crazy easy. I didn't even properly follow the instructions and I still got it right. It's also cheaper than blueberry pie, now that the crazy awesome blueberry sale at Meijer is over now.
Then Lothar & I went to Julie's house for a couple days. Which was AWESOME.
1) We took the Foley joke to a whole new level. So now, if I had to, I probably could do Foley for a porno now, especially if it involved whale bestiality or wookiees.
2) I learned what a buttplug is shaped like, then used this knowledge to create a makeshift one out of Julie's bedpost.
3) Barbecue AWESOME
4) I saw a shooting star
And much more. Plus it was great to not have work for two days, and to get the hell out of this town. I mean, I don't have the animosity towards this town that a lot of people do, but it's nice to get a change of scenery once in awhile. And it was definitely good to see Julie for a more extended stretch of time.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Not sure why my comics have been so sexual lately. Tina says it's because I'm not getting any, but as weird as I am, when I'm horny, I don't usually think of Japanese men coming glitter on each other's backs or taints or this:
Ah, sweet mysteries of life.
Ah, sweet mysteries of life.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
This one's not that good, but I thought of it today after vacuuming. My carpet throws up so much fuzz that every few vacuums I have to take the vacuum cleaner and stick a coathanger all up in its tubes to yank out the enormous balls of fuzz that clog them.
Mamie
Mamie
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Not necessarily in chronological order.
--The asshole neighbors moved. I found out because the condo prez. came out and appologized to me about the garbage in the parking lot they left when they moved out. I looked way too happy when he told me that, I fear. The guy's brother moved in, so I fear he's an asshole too, but still he might not be and even if he is, that's like 1/3 of the sheer volume of assholes formerly cohabitating the complex. Yes, I count the baby as an asshole too, for crying all the time (though, as the guy who sold this place to my parents says, "I'd cry too if I had those parents").
--I gained a nemesis at work on Fri. This guy's a total stranger to me, I walked by his cube on the way to my supervisor's desk. He says, "don't look so happy," sarcastically to me. This is something that irritates the crap out of me even when I am not depressed, because who has a fucking right to tell me what facial expressions I can and can't make if I'm not doing anything weird or rude with them?
Then on top of it, the fact is I'm not happy, and I don't feel I should be skipping into work with a big fake grin on my face just to please complete strangers. But I was polite, and went on my way. Then, on the way back to my desk, the fucker does it again! This is in the space of like, 2 minutes! Who does that? The one guy at my previous job who used to say this would space it out over months instead of repeatedly harassing me about it. AND I knew him, he wasn't a goddamn stranger sticking his nose into my business. I am now completely enraged. But I let it pass.
So then later in the day, I go to the bathroom. And guess who is heading there when I'm on my way back--my brand new buddy. As I am walking towards him, I think, "Okay, he's not going to do it a third time. No one would do this a third time when the first two obviously didn't make the person smile." But then he says it AGAIN. I am now so agitated that I have to say something. If I don't say something, he will keep doing it, and I can't take that. I am in fact, INCOHERENT WITH RAGE, because I can't even articulate what to say to him. I sputter for like a minute, finally spewing out some sort of combination of "what do you want from me?" and "I don't even know what my face is supposed to look like," clenching and unclenching my fists the whole time. He acts deeply offended that I don't take his harassment as friendliness and leaves before I can actually say anything meaningful to explain to him about why this bothers me.
I know it's evil to use this just to put someone in their place, but if I were really, really thinking on my feet my reply would probably be, "My mother's dying of cancer right now. Please stop telling me to smile." It would make him feel about an inch tall, which is probably mean, but it would probably be upsetting enough to make him think twice before harassing total strangers who might have a 100% valid reason to not look happy again, and maybe break him of this obnoxious habit.
--I made a blueberry pie! It is my first experience of pie baking--and I think I did well. It doesn't really have a traditional crust, it has crumblies on top and graham cracker crust on bottom. Not only was this easier, but I'm not big on traditional crust so I thought it tasted better as well. I brought some to my dad, and I was really happy, he took a lot of it because he liked it so well. He also actually scraped the pie pan to get crust he missed because he liked it so much. This is a HUGE compliment, because when my mom made pies she used to yell at him for not eating the crust (though--my crust isn't better than mom's, just a different sort, she used traditional crust and I think he's like me and likes graham cracker more). Josh sampled it as well and liked it, then I took it to the D & D crew and they seemed to like it as well. I like eating what I cook, but I almost more like taking my successes around to people just to fish for compliments, so I was happy at the amount of joy the pie brought to various people. I bought more blueberries, so I am going to do it again soon.
--I recieved an awesome card from Andi. Even though it's not my birthday, it says, "Happy birthday, you bastard," and inside, "No seriously, you're a bastard." She (rightfully) thought I would like it so much that she bought it for me and sent it regardless of birthday status.
--I hung out with Josh today. He brought me delicious funnel cake from this street fair in Peoria and it was awesome. We watched some arrested development, played some Blokus, ate food, and shopped. Having him around always peps me up, so I'm glad he visited.
--I hung out with the D & D crew today, and it was also sweet. I played an awesome game called Aquire for the second time ever and we enjoyed some Apples to Apples as well. I also had this conversation that makes me the creepiest person ever:
(something about kids or something)
Me: Yeah? Well children can suck on my junk. Which is why, by law, I'm required to stay at least 40 feet away from them.
Pat: Are you saying you're involved in kiddie porn?
Me: No, I'm a molester. I'm a doer, not a watcher.
(can't remember who made this suggestion): Well you could make kiddie porn. You could be the star!
Me: Uh, I don't think I'd be the star, the kid is. I'd be in more of a supporting role.
And on that note I end this post.
--The asshole neighbors moved. I found out because the condo prez. came out and appologized to me about the garbage in the parking lot they left when they moved out. I looked way too happy when he told me that, I fear. The guy's brother moved in, so I fear he's an asshole too, but still he might not be and even if he is, that's like 1/3 of the sheer volume of assholes formerly cohabitating the complex. Yes, I count the baby as an asshole too, for crying all the time (though, as the guy who sold this place to my parents says, "I'd cry too if I had those parents").
--I gained a nemesis at work on Fri. This guy's a total stranger to me, I walked by his cube on the way to my supervisor's desk. He says, "don't look so happy," sarcastically to me. This is something that irritates the crap out of me even when I am not depressed, because who has a fucking right to tell me what facial expressions I can and can't make if I'm not doing anything weird or rude with them?
Then on top of it, the fact is I'm not happy, and I don't feel I should be skipping into work with a big fake grin on my face just to please complete strangers. But I was polite, and went on my way. Then, on the way back to my desk, the fucker does it again! This is in the space of like, 2 minutes! Who does that? The one guy at my previous job who used to say this would space it out over months instead of repeatedly harassing me about it. AND I knew him, he wasn't a goddamn stranger sticking his nose into my business. I am now completely enraged. But I let it pass.
So then later in the day, I go to the bathroom. And guess who is heading there when I'm on my way back--my brand new buddy. As I am walking towards him, I think, "Okay, he's not going to do it a third time. No one would do this a third time when the first two obviously didn't make the person smile." But then he says it AGAIN. I am now so agitated that I have to say something. If I don't say something, he will keep doing it, and I can't take that. I am in fact, INCOHERENT WITH RAGE, because I can't even articulate what to say to him. I sputter for like a minute, finally spewing out some sort of combination of "what do you want from me?" and "I don't even know what my face is supposed to look like," clenching and unclenching my fists the whole time. He acts deeply offended that I don't take his harassment as friendliness and leaves before I can actually say anything meaningful to explain to him about why this bothers me.
I know it's evil to use this just to put someone in their place, but if I were really, really thinking on my feet my reply would probably be, "My mother's dying of cancer right now. Please stop telling me to smile." It would make him feel about an inch tall, which is probably mean, but it would probably be upsetting enough to make him think twice before harassing total strangers who might have a 100% valid reason to not look happy again, and maybe break him of this obnoxious habit.
--I made a blueberry pie! It is my first experience of pie baking--and I think I did well. It doesn't really have a traditional crust, it has crumblies on top and graham cracker crust on bottom. Not only was this easier, but I'm not big on traditional crust so I thought it tasted better as well. I brought some to my dad, and I was really happy, he took a lot of it because he liked it so well. He also actually scraped the pie pan to get crust he missed because he liked it so much. This is a HUGE compliment, because when my mom made pies she used to yell at him for not eating the crust (though--my crust isn't better than mom's, just a different sort, she used traditional crust and I think he's like me and likes graham cracker more). Josh sampled it as well and liked it, then I took it to the D & D crew and they seemed to like it as well. I like eating what I cook, but I almost more like taking my successes around to people just to fish for compliments, so I was happy at the amount of joy the pie brought to various people. I bought more blueberries, so I am going to do it again soon.
--I recieved an awesome card from Andi. Even though it's not my birthday, it says, "Happy birthday, you bastard," and inside, "No seriously, you're a bastard." She (rightfully) thought I would like it so much that she bought it for me and sent it regardless of birthday status.
--I hung out with Josh today. He brought me delicious funnel cake from this street fair in Peoria and it was awesome. We watched some arrested development, played some Blokus, ate food, and shopped. Having him around always peps me up, so I'm glad he visited.
--I hung out with the D & D crew today, and it was also sweet. I played an awesome game called Aquire for the second time ever and we enjoyed some Apples to Apples as well. I also had this conversation that makes me the creepiest person ever:
(something about kids or something)
Me: Yeah? Well children can suck on my junk. Which is why, by law, I'm required to stay at least 40 feet away from them.
Pat: Are you saying you're involved in kiddie porn?
Me: No, I'm a molester. I'm a doer, not a watcher.
(can't remember who made this suggestion): Well you could make kiddie porn. You could be the star!
Me: Uh, I don't think I'd be the star, the kid is. I'd be in more of a supporting role.
And on that note I end this post.
Friday, August 01, 2008
wow
I mean, I knew I had hostility towards my job, but I think re-reading a snippet of a letter I'm sending to a friend made me realize just how much. I mean, it starts out with a joke I always do, that isn't even mine (ryan came up with it) but the rest is all despair.
"Anyway, yeah, my life still sucks. I started crying today because I was at this orientation thing for a bunch of people applying for a posting at my workplace, and they all had more skills and knew more people than me and I feel like I'll never get out of my awful fucking job where people who think they're on hold and I can't hear them will say, "this girl talks like a retard," or say nearly as mean things to my face (so to speak). Still, they're the retarded ones. I know everything about them; they know nothing about me. When I finally snap, I'm going to drive to someone's home, leap at them like a spider monkey, and sing "like a good neighbor, I know where you live," to them over and over as I spread hooker entrails on their front lawn. "I heard you was havin' a barbecue, neighbor," I'll cackle gleefully as well. The coup de gras will be finding their kids and telling them that santa is really a hobo named "Oklahoma bill" who regularly sodomizes their mother... and father. Then I will give them a brief but graphic description to them of what sodomy is using one of the hooker corpses as a visual aid.
"Anyway, yeah, my life still sucks. I started crying today because I was at this orientation thing for a bunch of people applying for a posting at my workplace, and they all had more skills and knew more people than me and I feel like I'll never get out of my awful fucking job where people who think they're on hold and I can't hear them will say, "this girl talks like a retard," or say nearly as mean things to my face (so to speak). Still, they're the retarded ones. I know everything about them; they know nothing about me. When I finally snap, I'm going to drive to someone's home, leap at them like a spider monkey, and sing "like a good neighbor, I know where you live," to them over and over as I spread hooker entrails on their front lawn. "I heard you was havin' a barbecue, neighbor," I'll cackle gleefully as well. The coup de gras will be finding their kids and telling them that santa is really a hobo named "Oklahoma bill" who regularly sodomizes their mother... and father. Then I will give them a brief but graphic description to them of what sodomy is using one of the hooker corpses as a visual aid.
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