Well, I don't know if it's because I sort of expected it or because I'm a horrible person, but I just found out that my mom had cancer and I don't feel all that bad. Aside from the guilt about not feeling bad. I don't know, it doesn't seem real. It's in her liver, which is supposedly pretty hard to treat, but they did a biopsy today (results not in yet) to see whether or not it can be treated. The reason she had trouble breathing (and I got confused, I thought it was in multiple places, including her lungs but I was wrong) is that the mass on her liver is kind of pushing up on her lung.

EDIT: that sounded sort of robotty. I AM sad and upset. Just not to the extent that I think I SHOULD be.