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Today I decided: I am getting a masters in Library Science.

The epiphany came when a woman said to me, "I can't understand your voice. It's all nasally."

FUCK YOU WORLD. Seriously. I knew my voice was unique, and even somewhat abrasive. But since I've entered the service industry, I really had no idea how crappy it was. In the last 4 months I've worked on the phone, I've gotten at least 4 times as shit about my voice as I got in the last two years at Borders. I am really, really tired of it. And no one else has this problem. WTF.

So this woman asks her question or whatever, and I offer to send a message to her agent. Which makes her say, "you're not in my agent's office?" which I give her my canned spiel on no I'm not but please let me still help you. Which she rather snidely turned down, saying, "There's nothing YOU can help me with." Then there's this idiotic rule at work where we have to check for additional needs even after it's pretty obvious that the person doesn't want our help. So I say, "is there anything else I can help you with today?" and instead of the usual mean, "well you didn't help me out in the first place" I got "Your voice is very nasally, I can't really understand it." So I say "Thank you for calling ____" instead of asking again and am about to hang up but of course she says, "What? I can't understand you, you're so nasally," and I can't just hang up on her, and I say, "Is there anythinge else I can help you with?" and she says the nasally thing again--which I find this particularly bizarre, seeing as how she seemed to understand me fine at first. And I finally shout at her (this is the first time I've actually yelled at a customer) "I CAN'T HELP WHAT MY VOICE IS LIKE." And she says some other shit and I say thank you for calling and hang up on her ass.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is I know school won't get me out of this goddamned job immediately, but I don't want to spend a year doing this goddamned job and still be at a dead end. I'm going to hedge my stupid bets even if it lands me in debt. Human beings are not meant to live like this.

First order of business: moving
Second order of business: applying to the library science program
Third order of business: looking around for a new job that might be better than this one, and/or a part time one I could have in addition to this one to help me earn money for school until I actually start school.