shit so thick you could stir it with a stick

This morning I was happy. Genuinely happy. I know this is a "stupid" reason, but I found this REM greatest hits CD I have not been able to find since I moved, that I've had an insane craving to listen to for months now. I was belting out "Great Beyond," and "Losing My Religion" as loud as I could in my car. Happy.

How did I go from this to taking my ten minute break so I could go and sob in the bathroom less than an hour into my workday?

Let me enlighten you.

I get into work and the DVD displays are all fucked up. Both in the sense that they were nowhere near the way I'd left them, and in that there were real mistakes according to the sheets as well. Also there are just a ton of these big gaping holes with nothing in them, like the person just quit in the middle of whatever they were doing.

I tell myself to calm down. I am territorial, and I hate when people fuck with my shit. Especially since the last thing I did on Monday was one half of this display, and this is the second time lately someone's done that to me (just randomly undid what I did and not tell me about it). But maybe there's a good reason.

So I go and talk to Kevin, he has no idea either.

When boss-boss comes in, it turns out it's her. This enrages me because 1) I hate her anyway 2) she's the one who recently fucked up another one of my displays and 3) she isn't even involved in merch, so I don't know why she gets it in her head that she knows what's best. Having this shit done to me would go down a whole lot better if it was Kevin or Elaine.

But what enrages me the most, and it would piss me off no matter who did it, is that no one left me a note or told me the slightest thing on why everything's rearranged (and when boss-boss did this to me last time she didn't leave a note either). And this area is specifically my responsibility. I don't see how I can do my job properly without even being told what's going on. (I also think it's particularly stupid that she never told Kevin or Elaine what's up either, they've nominally delegated this task to me, but it is definately their assigned domain).

So she tells me that she undid what Elaine and I had agreed on awhile ago as to layout of the display. I point out that not only that, there's a lot of stuff wrong (which is stupid, but at this point I thought she'd kind of ordered the temps to do it, not do it herself. And it's stupid because boss-boss hates being called out on her mistakes I would totally be en route to a firing right now if she wasn't on probation for firing someone for having diabetes about a year ago). And she points out that I'm the one that fucked up, because I put the stuff she put up on a cart. Well, I thankfully refrained from saying, "yeah well I thought I was going to be the one who dealt with the cart later, not some idiot who doesn't know how I do things." Seriously, we've been really behind on merch for like three months now. I'm finally catching up (they've stopped making me close every night, thus I have three more hours every day to do things that I couldn't before). And now is when she just decides to pitch in and fuck everything up constantly?

But then I point out that at least one of the mistakes she made was definately not my fault, because I DID put it in the correct place when I did the first half of the display, the part she randomly undid.

I started the bitching because I didn't know it was her specifically doing it, but I guess I just couldn't let it go once she started making up stupid excuses that I knew were BS. The other thing she said was that only one thing was wrong .....so I pointed out all the other wrong things.

So after this I asked her (and I thought politely) to just at least leave me a note after she does this stuff. I told her that multimedia is my responsibility, but it is impossible to carry it out if I can't keep anything straight because people are doing things with it and not telling me.

Instead of saying, "yes, I'll do that from now on," or "no, I don't think I should have to report to you, peon," she just says, "I WILL DO THE DISPLAY MYSELF IF IT IS SUCH A PROBLEM FOR YOU," in this angry voice that I hope the all caps conveyed to you. And then just storms off.

So anyway, yeah, I went to cry. I don't think its so much this one incident, it's just the fact that I know I am not respected whatsoever. People will just fuck with my stuff without telling me, and then get mad at me for not bending over and taking it. I will never ever be promoted at that store. I can't get a decent job elsewhere. I believe, "I'm in hell. I'm trapped in hell," went through my mind several times. And... well, when I get upset things snowball and I start thinking of everything in my life that is going wrong. So I'm also thinking, "I have done nothing with my life," "I have colitis," and "no man will ever love me," all at the same time too.

The other crappy thing that happened was I had a frou-frou coffee drink at break to cheer myself up, but I forgot to get decaf, so I was having horribly painful poos constantly after a certain point in the day as well.

In things not shitty, the district manager came up to me today and said, "You do most of the multimedia merch, don't you?" and I said yes, and he told me that I did a good job, that all the new releases/front of store stuff was 100% correct. Also, an old man said I was pretty.