Baaaaaaaaaah. My day started pretty well, I've been in a good mood since I saw the doctor about the happy pills. I don't think I've been on them long enough to have any actual reaction (he said it takes 4 weeks for them to hit their peak effectiveness, about one week to notice any reaction), but I think the placebo effect + knowing there's at least some change happening has made me peppy. We'll see how it lasts.

Esp. since the Baaaah means my day just got worse, i.e. instead of doing thanksgiving with just my dad like I had hoped, it seems I'm going to have to go to one of my stupid brother in law's familys like I had pretty much suspected was going to happen. See, after she got married, my sister would drop by on us at Thanksgiving, but she had 3 to go to in one day and so didn't eat that much at ours. So basically thanksgiving would be with just me and my dad, and everyone always acts like it's too much work to do for two people, even if I'll do the work and am freely willing to. But I floated the idea of us doing thanksgiving together and he said yes and I was surprised and happy.

But now, of course, we got the invite from brother in law's family (they're nice people, I'm not surprised at the invitation) and of course it makes my sister's thanksgiving less of a hassle cause she doesn't have to come to see us, it is the logical thing to do. Dad wants to do it that way.

The only thing is I don't want to fucking be logical. I want to spend thanksgiving with just my dad (and my sister if she wants to stop by). I don't want to be nice to people I don't know that well, even if they are nice people. I don't want to eat weird food not prepared exactly how I like it. I want my own damned thanksgiving, not to be some pathetic charity case at some other person's thanksgiving full of strangers.