RYAN!

(10:03:58 AM) me: what up?
(10:04:08 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: the price of gas
(10:04:23 AM) me: I make it for free
(10:04:25 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(10:04:31 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: will it power my automobile?
(10:04:39 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: or just turn me on like last time?
(10:04:53 AM) me: hahah the turn on is for freeeee
(10:04:58 AM) me: don't diss it
(10:05:21 AM) me: man if I had a car that ran on my poop
(10:05:31 AM) me: it would suck less that I poop constantly
(10:05:35 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha that would be awesome
(10:05:42 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: you could even rig it up so the driver's seat was a toilet
(10:05:46 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: you could just poo on the go
(10:05:48 AM) me: hahaha
(10:06:04 AM) me: that's much better than what I thought of
(10:06:24 AM) me: which involved several lengths of tubing and the violation of several public indecency laws
(10:06:52 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(10:06:58 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: sounds like my saturday night
(10:07:00 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: BOOM

(10:08:05 AM) me: remind me to never, ever, ever take laxatives ever again
(10:08:09 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: hahah
(10:08:11 AM) me: I am basically a poo faucet
(10:08:14 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: man I could have told you that
(10:08:14 AM) me: that won't shut off
(10:08:21 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: you should stand on your head
(10:08:23 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: and be a poo fountain
(10:08:28 AM) me: hahaha
(10:08:38 AM) me: will small children play in me?
(10:08:59 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha yes
(10:09:05 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: and splash in your poo puddles
(10:09:15 AM) me: no way then, I hate those little bastards
(10:09:21 AM) me: they can find their own poo fountain
(10:09:27 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I like to call them "poo-dles"

(10:23:08 AM) me: I feel like poooop
(10:23:09 AM) me: fix it
(10:23:44 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(10:23:51 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: is your butt controlled by computers?
(10:23:59 AM) me: I don't know
(10:24:02 AM) me: how do you tell?
(10:24:10 AM) me: is there a USB port in there or something?
(10:24:13 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: does it make beeping noises
(10:24:15 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(10:24:21 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: a usb port would also be a good sign
(10:24:44 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: have you ever controlled it with a mouse?
(10:24:50 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: and I don't mean the animal like Richard Gere
(10:25:00 AM) me: haha what about Richard Gere?
(10:25:11 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: there was some rumor years ago he liked to put gerbils in his ass
(10:25:16 AM) me: hahah
(10:25:21 AM) me: he probably does
(10:25:26 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I'd believe it

(10:58:33 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: I don't want to work
(10:58:35 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: but I should
(10:58:57 AM) me: same with me
(10:59:05 AM) me: I don't want to go and wash all this poo off my body
(10:59:07 AM) me: but I should
(10:59:56 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: haha
(11:00:13 AM) me: stupid dress code at work
(11:00:22 AM) me: poo isn't a clothing style it's a way of life
(11:01:06 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: you should make a poo suit
(11:01:28 AM) me: maybe. My woman suit is working pretty well for me.
(11:02:19 AM) Ryanthor Murdoch: Mine too!