Feel good

Fuck you, Borders Books & Music in Bloomington Normal. Actually, more to the point, fuck you, Tami Whiteaker, general manager of Borders Books & Music in Bloomington Normal.

Yes. Today I quit, so I feel free to name names.

Tami Whiteaker, you are the sludge of humanity. You are a filthy lying backstabber and you suck at both leading people AND the simple logistics of running a goddamn retail establishment. You are a small, small person hellbent on making people hate everything around them the way you do. I hope you and your douchebag husband die so that there's some chance that your kids will be adopted by decent people who won't teach them that being a fucking bastard is the way to live their lives.

That out of the way, here is how it went down. I got a lengthy note in my mailbox today from her that's basically all, "You shouldn't have gone to Elaine, I am in charge of scheduling now, and you should know that because it's posted everywhere." Yeah, I get that, HOSEBEAST. I'm not a MORON. The availability sheet that sparked off this whole shitstorm, I did put it in your goddamn mailbox, did I not? I just fucking hate talking to you and would rather go through an intermediary. Then it goes on to tell me that since I no longer have weekend availability, I have to get busted down from "part time" employee to "contingent."

This is shit because:

1) contingent people just work when other people call in sick, and not very often at that. On top of which, they get no employee discount. Because they are barely employees.
2) Months ago when I wanted to work at Afni, I worked this out with Elaine, and the whole "one day a week" thing was approved. Then later I tried to get more hours, weekends, any day, whatever, and they said, "no, we want to keep it like it is now." So then they randomly decide to give me more hours, and I say, "no, I want to keep it like it is now," and I all the sudden have to be busted down to contingent? Fuck that noise. You weren't there for me when I needed you, I'm not going to do what you goddamn say now.

So I was like, "yeah, time to quit." I wanted to say what I said in the last paragraph, perhaps full of righteous anger and bust Tami down to size, but instead I was just like, "yeah I quit," kind of matter-of-factly, and gave my notice.

Anyway, it kind of makes me mad to quit. Because I'm basically just giving Tami what she wants. Since Borders made it so she can't fire anyone (because they got sued cause she basically fired a guy for having Diabetes right around when I first started) she has become a pro at making Borders so unpleasant that people have to quit. So I have had a feeling for quite a while now she's been trying to run me off, and she's finally getting what she wants. But on the other hand, I don't have the time or emotional energy to pour into staying at Borders just to spite her.

Plus, I have a feeling I should've gotten out awhile ago. A year ago, at least, right after the first time she fucked me. Back when the ratio of good Borders memories outweighed the memories of Borders dicking me over. Back when I actually still was a good employee, so that if I ever wanted to get hired on at a different Borders again, I'd be taken (with that eval, I doubt if I ever move to another town and want a job at Borders, I'd get it).

I hold onto things way too long. I had thought it was just friendships where the other person had ceased caring, but I guess this job is another example. I actually feel like my life is a Lifetime movie and Borders is the abusive husband that keeps getting drunk and beating me but I keep coming back because I remember the good times from back before it became a drunken asshole, and I do know that part of Borders does love me. But now I'm finally listening to my friends who've been telling me that it's never going to get better, and I should leave now before it lands me in the hospital again.

Also, I was actually talking to Ryan the other day and he was telling me about this one anime he watches that's been annoying him lately, because they've basically spent all this time developing these characters and getting you really invested in them, and then just kind of killing most of them off at once for stupid reasons, and there's no reason to watch it anymore. And I replied, "Yeah, that's how I feel about Borders. 'All my favorite characters are dead anyway.'" I meant it as a joke initially, but then I realized that IS how I feel. Yeah, I'll miss Kevin and Elaine and YM, but seriously.... And I'll really be sad when someone finally replaces the Van Morrison "Pay the Devil" poster that I've tried (and succeeded) to keep on Main Info for a ridiculously long amount of time. And I'll miss making employee of the month posters for my friends.

But it's not worth the anguish, yes, anguish that Tami Whiteaker, hosebeast extraordinaire, inflicts.

In other news, I'm trying to decide if (and if so, how) I should tell her to fuck off when I leave. I kind of have nothing to lose, with that eval on file I probably would never get hired at another borders again if I wanted to.