where do your fingers go

So several people from the store that I consider friends went out a couple nights ago. When I found out they didn't invite me I was pretty irritated. It's kind of irrational of me, they basically only asked people who happened to be at the store before, and I obviously wasn't there.

I think the reason it bugged me so much is that I've spent so much time and effort trying to get people at the store to hang out, and now that some people finally are, it feels like they are leaving me out. There's this weird Nebrasky-Dance Whore-Thug group that I feel left out of because I'm not a guy and I don't drink very much. And somehow... I don't know, I think I've fallen behind several other people in the affections of most of the new people. I know people are bound to get along with other people better than me and want to hang out with people who are not me instead of me, but I feel like, "why? I am just as good or better than that person! I put a lot of work into trying to make friends with you! And so and so just swoops in and suddenly you're their friend?" Meh.

Also, I spent that whole day feeling sort of and bored (and this is like the nth day off in a row I've been alone and bored), so it is irritating to think that people I know who could've invited me to something they were doing were out there having fun. And all the old friendships at work I put so much effort into making, gone. Everyone but Opt left, and she has two jobs and is constantly busy. So yeah... I'm a lonely old women who needs to buy me some cats, basically.

So yeah, I do realize this is really whiney. But I'm not the only one, Baby Stealer was a little miffed she wasn't invited either.

I took it out on poor, hung-over Dance Whore all day, which was again, dumb, because it wasn't even his thing, Nebrasky had set this all up. AND, Dance Whore is so nice he actually called Nebrasky about it later and told him to be nice to me since I was upset. Which is how I scored a pity invite to go and see Borat with them last night. Which, I'm tired this morning (we went late, I have work moderately early) but happier.

Insecurity, yes, I have tons. There is plenty to go around.