b;ej

I kind of love it when customers at work are idiots in a not particularly annoying way. Because I get to make fun of them, and yet they aren't draining my soul like the ones that persist in their idiocy.

Anyway, I had a dude who had homeowner's insurance with us call in today. He did not have auto insurance with us. But he called in about his car: i.e. his neighbor's tree fell on it, and he wanted to know what we thought he should do about it. I am no insurance expert (literally, I know nothing more than the average person, and maybe even less, they purposefully keep us ignorant so we don't go shooting off our mouths about something we shouldn't) but I think there are at least 3 people I would much rather talk to than my homeowner's insurance co, IE the neighbor, the neighbor's homeowner's insurance co, or my auto insurance co. We really aren't supposed to give people advice, but I told him to talk to those people if he had any questions and he was like, "okay." But I still sent a message to his agent to call him.

I actually worked a double today, which wasn't too bad. I had been dreading it because I hate my job, but I set it up so I had an hour break, and the hate meter kind of got reset at break so it was almost like working two regular shifts that just happened to be on the same day. Because of this, I can and am taking off Thursday so that my Roni and I can celebrate Christmas (it seems like it's going to be difficult to do it on the actual day.

I really, really am not sure what I'm going to do. I talk big about Library science, but I STILL have not actually called up U of I, which I really need to do. I am really bad about putting things off. They also had this development fair at work, recently. And I found out there are actually a LOT of decent sounding jobs in the company. And it seems like my previous assumption, that I would have to take a job in claims first as a stepping stone to a decent job, is erroneous, it might be just as easy to get one of the others as one in claims. But it sounds like for every decent job, there is a lot of competition.

And I really really am sick about how much they tell us how to work the system to get the job we want. There is ALL this BS about networking, and doing activities that show our leadership, and writing up what we do at our current job in this big BSy way like we're so unique and have so much to offer. Dude, I don't want to lie. My current job is just the latest in a long line of jobs I've had that a fucking trained monkey could do. I actually have LESS autonomy to make my own decisions that affect things than I did back when I was in retail. There is almost no way to differentiate yourself, and I don't feel like putting up the effort to pretend like I have. And I think the obsession with displaying leadership is shit. Too many leaders actually fucks things up more than not having enough people with initiative. I think anyone who's ever had a group with a leadership conflict can attest to that. I don't want to be a supervisor, or a manager, I just want a job that I can quietly do in a corner somewhere, have it be something I like (or at least not hate it), do it well, and forget about it until I come in the next day. And I really fucking hate the concept of networking.... it's just so counterintuitive, I think. Instead of hiring someone who does their work the best, you're hiring someone because you happen to have met them at some point and they seem nice or whatever. But you probably don't know what the actual person is like, because they schmoozed you and aren't going to be showing you their faults, so it really has nothing to do with how well they will do their job. What the fuck happened to just doing your best, being the best at it, and being promoted onward? Anyway, I especially hate that they not only acknowledge that these stupid ways are the way to move forward, but they actually encourage us. They aren't giving us any special atvantage, like they seem to think they are. If they tell everyone about this way to get ahead, it's not a way to get ahead. You're just doing more work to stay even with everyone else who went ahead and did what they told you to do. And it's so exhausting for me to even think about doing all this random shit outside of work just to get a better job. I guess I'm not dedicated enough to the company or whatever, but I think my free time should be spent free, instead of worrying about networking or making up BS to tell people. I don't get paid to do this extra work, it doesn't do anything for the company, it's pointless. But I think I'm still a good worker, because I come in and do my work as well or better than any of the people who do the extra networking and BS. I guess I don't do well with competion.

I don't know. It's depressing. And I don't feel like I could escape it even if I left the company, I would just work somewhere else that basically works the same way, albeit possibly on a smaller scale. I just wish I had a job that I could shine at, and be awesome and just show people how great I am, or I could just get that degree and it would open all the doors for me. But I think either is a fantasy and I should just learn to deal with it. I just wish I knew how.