Sunday, September 09, 2007

tan needs to die

What the fuck, people. Why do you love tan so goddamn much?

Err.... ignore my tan blog template.

Seriously though, if you go to Lowe's, the selection for tile there is 90% tan, 9% this gross reddish-tan, 1% anything interesting or worthwhile. Even when something isn't fucking tan (rare) it has tan mixed into it somehow. Newsflash, people: Tan isn't just ugly, it is fugly. The F stands for fucking ugly.

The whole time my parents were like, "Well... people like neutral colors, so they can sell their property later..." But I'm not convinced. There wasn't ANY decent gray, and barely any decent white or off-white anything. There wasn't even a genuine nice non-tan brown at all. And is blue really THAT crazy to want? I'm probably going to end up with something shittily red-tan. Which... seems dumb. Red ISN'T neutral, but there was actually quite a lot of it available. Of course, it was red with TAN. How about some motherfucking maroon, people? That's a lot more attractive. Or, crazily BLUE. Or super fucking nuts, GRAY.

I don't even get it. You can get any color of paint in the universe. Carpet is nearly as plentiful in variety of hue. Even countertops were not this painful. But every fucking piece of tile in the universe: tan or a non attractive hue of red being raped by tan. If this is a trend, if like everywhere looks like that right now, I think people are going to regret it as much as all that weird orange and olive colored shit from the 70's.

So yes. I'm ranting about tile. I'm officially yuppie scum, as all too many of my friends feel the need to point out to me.

2 comments:

Terrace said...

try going to a tile place instead of a hardware store. The hardware place is just going to have a general selection but an actual tile store will have more.

And your not a yuppie. Your the hot bitch with a brand new condo.

the becca said...

I'm with Terrace.

If not a tile store, then something like Sherwin Williams...

How about some crazy black & white classic?

Strangely, I was just having a conversation about tile, myself, since my stupid landlord used ceramic tile in my KITCHEN which I found out when I got ceramic shards in my foot after dropping a heavy frozen thing that broke the tile.

Beware... don't make the same mistake!