sadness

I already hate, hate, hate the new job. I've started referring to it as "my personal hell." (MPH since they love their goddamned acronyms so much)

Now..... I'm not sure if some of this is sleep deprivation, I get pretty crazy and upset when I'm tired, and I totally am (trained at MPH till 11:30 last night, couldn't fall asleep till 2, got up at 5 to work a shift at the store, then back to MPH until 11:30. Yesterday I was like, "this is moderately crappy, but oh well." Today during training all I could think was, "I have to get out of here. Someone get me out of this place. I can not be here. I have to get out. I want to die."

I was alternately falling asleep and doing the panicked jimmy leg the entire time.

So I'm thinking of quitting already like a big fat quitter.

Other factors: most of the people in my class do not seem like exactly best friends material, I've heard a lot of stories about how jerky the customers are.

But on the other hand, I do not want to just go back to the store again (no matter how lovely it was to be there and do new releases today and see all my friends and not see boss-boss). I'm at the age that retail, unless you advance which I never will there, or have some sort of gift for it (which I don't), or like it (which I don't), is kind of sad and depressing. And it took this long for fuckin' MPH to take me.... no desirable job ever will. I don't want to waste more time and/or money in school. And I don't know what I'd take if I did.

But if I do go back to the store, I want to do it quick before they replace me.

And honestly I don't want another day like today where I just wanted to die.