You're never only just a hat

So last night I was supposed to go hang out with my buddies, but ended up backing out at the last second because I realized I had to get up at 7 today (and they weren't even starting till 12). So the Explosion called me up to leave a mean phone message, only he messed it up. It was just all random and "why aren't you hanging out with us?" so apparently they decided to make Thug send me a mean one. About my mother.

Wow. I must say, I think I've finally been topped in the mom joke department. I think it was the grossest thing I've ever heard. Whereas I go for horrible and disturbing in mom jokes (breaking old lady's hips, doing it in people's surgical incisions or ears or eyes, throwing dead clowns into the mix) Thug goes straight for the filthy and disgusting, and it worked. He described in creepy detail what all my mom was doing to him, down to how the cum looked like on her teeth and what she was doing to his scrotee.

I told him I jerked it to that message 7 times, and I would've done it more but I had to stop after awhile so I could jerk it to Schindler's List for awhile.

I don't know why, but I think "jerk it" is an awesome euphemism for masturbation to use if you are a girl and have nothing to jerk.

Today was not as horrible as I had thought. I really, really need to get out as soon as possible though. Because it will get horrible. This is only the tip of the iceberg, by Christmas Eve I'll want to die. And of course thanks to gift cards and returns, things won't not suck again till february.