Me: Yeah so I only got one hour of sleep last night.
Opt: But I thought you kicked the sleeping pill habit
Me: I did, I'm back to my normal sleeping patterns
Opt: then why did you get no sleep?
Me: these are the sleeping patterns that led me to get addicted to over the counter sleep pills in the first place.

Me: Can you check me out?
Nebrasky: Does the pope shit in the woods?
Me: I hope so.
Nebrasky: You know it! *kicks the air for no reason though later I learned he was trying to be Will Ferrell at the end of Old School*

Dance Whore: I really think there are probably a lot of teachers named Betty. It just seems like a teachery name.
Me: Yeah, but what last name would go with that? Kranston?
DW: Betty Kranston sounds like a mean teacher. Like she'd just slap you with a ruler for no reason.
Me: "I'm Betty Kranston! They suspended my teaching license on account of that coma I put that kid in. But he came right out! Whiners"
DW: "You don't know me! I raise my kids! I have a job! I pay the payments on my car!"
Opt walks up. "Who are you making fun of?"
And we had to tell her we were making fun of a ficticious character we made up thirty seconds ago.

Kevin: Oh, I forgot my secret notebook.
Me: What's secret about it?
Kevin: *raises an eyebrow* Wouldn't you like to know?

Things that are hilarious about my across the hall neighbor's writing career:

1) He is basically stealing a real life incident that happened to someone without that person's permission. So he is coming up with a fake name and putting credit cards in that fake name.

2) He thinks taking up writing will quickly solve his cash flow problems.

3) He wants to put an entire novel on floppy disks.

4) he thinks he is not boring

Other randomness:

My appartement has a smell. I don't know what it is. I don't like it, but it's not clearly identifiable as poo or anything that would give me a clue as to how to stop the smell.

My sink has a leak. I can't tell what pipe it's coming from.

I am going to enjoy some Ali G tonight.