stupid babies need the most care!

Me: whereas bearded guy looks like his whole personality depends on his beard
Me: and if you took it off he'd have to have a personality
Me: and it would be funny to watch him be all, "aww, man. I have no more beard, what will I do now that I have to find non beard related hobbies?"
Opt: he has a personality... it's FAG
Opt: he's the type of homo who defines himself by it and it drives me nucking futz
Me: lame
Me: I should tell him about my love of the buttsex
Me: and we could bond
Me: but then I'd be like, "no not really what has two thumbs and hates gay people?"*
Opt: ha!
Me: that joke works for everything
Opt: indeed
Me: "do you know what has two thumbs and hates bearded guys?"
Me: maybe I should just say, "what has two thumbs and hates you?"
Me: and then just say "everything that has two thumbs"
Me: maybe add that I'm probably leaving out a few people who have had carpentry accidents
Opt: thhhbt
Opt: you're making me try not to lol in the public library
Me: haha, sorry

Only I wasn't.

_________
* the joke was originally, "what has two thumbs and hates black people" and even more originally, "what has two thumbs and loves blow jobs?" and then you point to yourself and say "thiiiiiis guy" (I say "thiiiiiis chick"). I think it works here, too, though.