Wednesday, April 28, 2010

So I changed my hierarchy of "annoying calls at work."

From most annoying to least annoying, it used to go:

Hostile people
People who don't speak English at all
Dumb people
People who don't speak English well

Of course, people who are combinations of any of the above are the most most annoying. I used to put hostile people above the others because they don't HAVE to be jerkoffs, whereas dumb people and foreigners don't really have a choice. But now hostile people are probably lower, as usually they yell at you briefly and just hang up and you don't have to deal with them anymore.

Anyway, aside from that change, I have a new category that goes on top. People who won't fucking listen to you. I got two extreme examples of this tonight on internet calls. Internet calls, for those who haven't heard me bitch about my job before (though these are usually the least annoying calls as they are straightforward and uncomplicated... unless the person is extremely annoying for other reasons) are when someone can't get into their internet acct with us. We have them answer their security questions to verify their identity, and then provide them with their username (if they forgot it), reset their password, and/or unlock their account if they've failed at their password too many times or failed at answering their security questions too many times.

Security questions are hard for people to get... the computer's a little picky on how they're typed in and if they don't get it exactly right, they can't get in. So after they answer it close enough for a human to think they're right, we tell them exactly how it's typed in so they can get past it.

If we reset their password, it gets changed to their birthdate in the format MMDDYYYY. Then, once they login with that password, the computer prompts them to pick a new password.

Not fucking rocket science, especially if you have someone on the phone with you walking you through it step by step.

Ugh, but I had this lady, this fucking lady who would not fucking listen to me. I'm not even going to go into the other one.

Me: So, I'm going to go over your security questions with you so that you can get past them, then I'm going to give you your password (past experience has taught me to do this first, otherwise the person is typing in their password etc. while I'm trying to tell them their security questions, and won't listen). The answer to the first question is Monkey. And--
Lady: There's nowhere to type that in!
Me: Okay, we haven't gotten to that yet. I'm just letting you know your security questions before we get to the password. So the first question, the answer is--
Lady: But there's nowhere to put it in!
Me: I know. You'll need to put in your username and password first, but I'm telling you this now so that you will know when you get there. So I'm going to go over the questions for you. So the answer to the first question is Monkey. The second is Chevrolet Cavalier--
Lady: There's nowhere to type that in!
Me: I know. But we're going to get that. So anyway, the answer is Monkey--
Lady: I already put in Monkey, that's how it got locked up the first time.
Me: I know, but as I said before the computer is really picky about how they're typed in, so I'm telling you exactly how they are typed in. So it's Monkey. Then the second one is Chevrolet Cavalier. There is a space between Chevrolet and Cavalier. The computer will not take it without that space.
Lady: I already put it in like that.
Me: Okay, I understand that you had problems before, that is why I'm making sure you have the answers so that when you login, it will all be correct. I have to go over all of them to make sure. So, the third answer is--
Lady: Rio De Janeiro, I know!
Me: Yes, but I have to tell you how it is typed in. Rio SPACE De SPACE Janeiro, then you have another space, and the word "Brazil."
Lady: I typed it in like that!
Me: Okay, and your password is going to be your birthdate, in the format two digits for month--
Lady: What is the password?
Me: Okay, and your password is going to be your birthdate, in the format two digits for month--
Lady: That's all?
Me: I'm not finished.... two digits for month, two digits for day, FOUR digits for year
Lady: Okay, I'm trying it. Two digits for year, right?
Me: No, FOUR digits for year.
Lady: Okay *tries it, surprisingly gets the password right somehow, but is baffled by the security questions*
Me: Okay, I'm going to go through the security questions again *another argument about how she already put them in right*
Me: Okay, listen closely *bitch keeps interrupting me, I am almost shouting listen closely to her over and over, she won't fucking shut up* "You have Rio De Janeiro Brazil. There is a space between Chevrolet and Cavalier--
Lady: I have to put "cavalier?"
Me: Yes, you have to put cavalier. Now, you have Rio SPACE De SPACE Janeiro SPACE Brazil.
Lady: I know

so she still can't get again. Lots more "please listen closelys" I'm about to lose it

Me: Look, I am going to spell everything exactly as it is in there. Please, please listen closely. C-H-E-V-R-O-L-E-T SPACE C-A-V-A-L-I-E-R.
Lady: I know, I know
Me: Just, please listen closely. I have R-I-O SPACE D-E SPACE J-A-N-E-I-R-O space B-R-A-Z-I-L.
Lady: Yes, I know. R-I-O-D-E SPACE J-A-N-E-R-O
Me: No, no no. Please listen closely. There is a SPACE between Rio and De, and you have to spell Janeiro differently, and you HAVE to have Brazil. *I do it all over*
Her: Z-I-L? What? That's not how to spell Janeiro...
Me: Brazil. You have to have Brazil on the end.
Her: R-I-O SPACE D-E SPACE J-A-N-E-R-O space B-R-A-Z-I-L
Me: I spell Janeiro for her again
Her: That's not how it's spelled!
Me: That's how it is in here, you can change it once you're logged in
Her: *finally gets in, mercifully seems to not have many troubles changing her password--the other lady I mentioned was fucking up that part considerably... but I'm too tired after writing about this lady to go into the other lady's problems, just know they are almost equal and I had to take both of these calls in one night*

In other news, more poop problems lately. Not sure exactly when they started, but it was a day or few before I went to Chicago. I really need to see my poop doctor. And still need to see my regular doctor about my persistently sore/dry throat (which, of course, is not helped by having to yell at stupid customers all day). Meh.

Which, btw, I WENT TO CHICAGO. A lot of people who live around here go all the time, but to me it's a big deal, I've only gone a handful of times in my lifetime even though it's only a couple hours away. I know it's a city with a more working class reputation or whatever, but it usually seems classy and elegant.... even with the occasional homeless person. The skyline is so beautiful, and all of the architecture is beautiful and unique. Whereas if you live in a smaller town, esp. one that got most of it's growth in the later 20th century... everything's all boring and box-like.

Anyway, Jeremy and I went up there because there was a Ben Folds show. I probably wouldn't've gone all the way to Chicago for a concert, even Ben, if I didn't have Jeremy. One, he really likes Ben too, and has never seen him. Two, he drove--I'm scared of driving in the third largest city in the US and avoid it if possible. We even got a hotel room and stayed the night so we could do more in the city.

There were some obstacles, for sure. 1) The weather was colder than we expected so we didn't dress for it. A good amount of our outside time (which was a lot, we walked a lot of places) was unpleasant. 2) Jeremy has problems with his knees or something, and we had to walk more than expected, so he was sore. 3) It was like, impossible to buy a fucking pass for the El. The extra walking was us walking all over trying to buy passes.

But there was definite goodness!

1) The hotel was really nice, and the continental breakfast was sweeeet
2) We went to a couple really good restaurants, which even further solidified my notion of Chicago's classiness. And they were tasty!
3) We went to the Art Institute. They have SO many famous paintings, ones I would've never guessed at. Seriously--more famous impressionist paintings than probably the Louvre has. A fuck ton of Monets, Renoirs, Van Gogh, etc. A really awesome famous Seurat* And that's just scraping the surface-i.e. things I personally like, there was some neo classicism or whatever, the sculptures of Rodin (though not the Thinker itself), fuck tons of Matisse (I hate that guy, I believe he is expressionist), Gaugin etc. The Seurat I mentioned was particularly impressive in person. It is made up of tiny, tiny dots and is on a huge canvas, and had this glow about it.
4) We went to Navy Pier. We took a boat tour on Lake Michigan, and the skyline was beautiful. And had funnel cake!

I'm going on another brief trip soon, Jeremy's birthday is on the first and we're going to his parent's house in Jacksonville for the weekend. Should be good, his parents seem pretty nice from what I can tell the last time we visited.

I'm saving the rest of my paid vacation for the trip to Grandpa's that may or may not ever happen, and the trip Ryan's taking up here. Both of which I'm looking forward to.

Other than that, I'm obsessed with a computer game called Dragon Age. Great graphics, even better story.

Oh, also that bastard rabbit has taken to tearing up my carpeting :/

__________
* paintings I saw included but were not limited to:
-4 monet haystacks Probably his lamest thing, but famous.
-Fucktons of other monet including this
-No Starry Night, but there's one of the famous self portraits, and I think I saw the bedroom one
-Renoir, my favorite, ton others
-the awesome-ass Seurat

0 comments: