can't get this shit off my mind

You know, I miss Sista, and Opt, and the DN's for themselves. But what I also miss is how easily accessable they were. Like I didn't have to go through a whole lot of BS just to hang out with them. But now that they're gone, I'm back to twisting people's arms, and it gets so exhausting. Just one goddamn time I'd like someone else to call me up and see if I want to do anything.

In other news, I picked up an extra shift this week. I figure if I do this once a month, I can afford a gym, renter's insurance, or netflix. Will I do that, though? I don't know. I really want to pay to excercise so that I will feel like I HAVE to excercise cause I paid. But on the other hand I really resent paying for something I would hate (even worse: spending extra time at my job which I hate to spend money to do something I hate). Renter's insurance is a less extreme version of that, i.e. it's something I really SHOULD have, but something I don't want to pay for. Netflix is just one of those back burner type things I've thrown around for awhile but will probably not do, because I know in my heart I should get one of the first two. I will probably not get any of them, and then stop picking up shifts. I kind of like being slightly more poor better than being at my job. Though, it's not as if I do anything productive whatsoever when I'm at home, either. I'm really kind of sad that I didn't get that other job. Someone recently mentioned volunteering to me... but I don't know. I really am self centered, I kind of don't really want to do things unless I will get money or actual fun out of it.

So yeah, that's the sad bastard post for today.