I say... there are few things nicer than driving in my car on a beautiful fall day, windows down, blasting the Modest Mouse. I wish I had a yard and had hung out there, maybe I would've gotten more nice weather and Modest Mouse than just the car ride to work. Still, considering how much I hate my job, any day I can be driving to work and not die a little inside is a victory.

Work was pretty alright. No jerks, just the requisite minimum of stupid people. Thurs & Fri are usually my least favorite days because my buddies don't work them, but today ranks up pretty high because I learned of the existence of one agent, "Richard Dong." Yes, my wonderful company hired a guy named Dick Dong. And it was one of the highlights of my day.

Also, I'm happy TV is back again. It's so weird, before hulu I had managed to wean myself off of TV fairly successfully but I'm addicted again. One of the new shows, Community, was really really funny for a pilot. My favorite exchange (forgive me I don't know characters names yet):

Professor: I'm a professor, you can' talk to me this way!
Greasy Lawyer: A six year old GIRL could talk to you that way!
P: Yes, because that would be ADORABLE!
GL: No, because you are FIVE year old girl, and there's a pecking order.

Haha Tina just linked me to this and it made me laugh.

Bleh....

I'm getting tired of all the stupid work meetings they make me do on my day off.

Today I had to meet with my mentor in Subrogation. I'm not really mad at her, because I don't think she realizes it's my day off, but it seems like we always have our meetings on Weds. But I don't get paid for it, and often I am doing something on Weds because it's my day off and no one on earth can ever hang out with me at the time they're free, because they all have regular schedules. I mean--I guess the regular schedule people aren't affected by a lunch meeting on Weds like this was (I kind of forgot that the other day when Jeremy asked me to hang out and got really angry that I had this meeting to go to instead, but then I remembered that he would be working that day anyway), but like, for whatever reason my dad never wants to hang out with me on days I work (even though I'm free before 4 and he is retired and always free) so Weds seems to be our day we hang out a lot. So... kind of annoying.

But worse is the fact that I do all this stuff so I can get promoted. But I'm never going to get promoted. I feel like I'm even losing progress.... there are promotions I applied for a year ago that I at least got an interview, and now I'm not even getting that.

Anyway, another annoyance is the Toastmasters board is always trying to make me meet on Weds evenings. They wanted me to do it again today but I already had plans with my dad that I made months ago. I begged them to at least alternate, because I always have plans Weds evening, but they were like, "so and so can't come any other time." Well, I can't go every Weds. Or even most Wednesdays. Again, this is unpaid. And board meetings are annoying anyway. Everyone's all hardcore like this is a cult and we need to make people join and make them talk. I'm like, "Hey, if we were low pressure more people would join, and then they'd talk when they feel comfortable." That's how I did it.... I joined to get an hour off the phone every two weeks, and I didn't do much at first, but now I've done a lot. I'm one project away from my CL, a few months away from my ALB, and only four projects away from my CC. I will soon have my own alphabet. So maybe...... don't pressure people. I don't get why they never schedule these meetings before or after the regular toastmaster meeting, when we're obviously all going to be there anyway.

This is making me laugh my ass off....

Shit My Dad Says

Forgive me, avid interwebbers, if you've seen it already.

Bleh.... can't sleep. I really wish I could turn my mind off the way a lot of people seem to be able to do. Mostly I'm thinking about what Josh is angry about me for. Or rather, wondering what it is. I had thought it was over, because I apologized to him like a month ago, but what I hadn't realized is what I apologized for wasn't what he was mad at me about. Maybe I'm just particularly dense, but I really don't know what I did half of the time.

...I thought typing out what was bothering me would help but I dunno. Insomnia's a bitch... sleep is my one escape from my worries (not just this, I'm a natural worrier about everything) but when I have a lot of them it refuses to come, like a Catch-22. Oh well. I did take some sleeping pills. They'll kick in eventually, I guess.

haha.... I Love Patrick Rothfuss

This was orig. an email to Tina but I find it completely hilarious so everyone, enjoy:

This was orig. an email to Tina, but I thought you would find it amusing too:

Tina: I had a crazy dream last night.

I dreamt that someone came up behind me and was groping my breast region. And I was like, trying to get him to leave them alone, but not like, alarmed as I would be if this had happened in real life. But then, I SWEAR TO GOD, whoever it was was like, "Yeeeess! I've touched your booooobs." In THIS EXACT VOICE.

So creepy.

Anyway, this was one of those dreams within a dream, so I like "woke up" and immediately called you to be like, "Tina, I had the weirdest dream." But I wasn't like at home, I was like, working at Borders again and it was Christmas time and for some reason they were making us stay overnight because we were so busy. And your reply was, "Sounds like an HR problem." And I was like, "What the hell does that mean?" but you had hung up already. But then, I realized you meant someone probably really had groped me instead of it being a dream, so I spent the whole rest of the dream trying to find out who there had groped me. True story.

So.... I'm kind of annoyed at my neighbors right now.

I didn't go into it on here before, but yeah, I backed into their car again. Our parking lot sucks and I suck and so I did it again.

Last time, they like, insisted on going through my insurance even though it was a tiny scratch. I wanted to pay it out of pocket so that my rates wouldn't go up, but they filed it anyway. Oh, plus they go to this hideously expensive shop. The estimate I was shown LITERALLY says that it took $8 bucks worth of parts/paint but the labor bumped it up to $300+ But hey, it's my bad, I went along with it, whatever.

So this time, I wrote them a check for like $350 and gave it to them with the note that's like, "sorry I hit your car again." Thinking, "hey, if they have the money already they won't try to go through the insurance." And on the note I put like, "Let me know if it's more than that." I didn't think it would be, the scratch is not much bigger but I guess the shop estimated like $420 or something. Fine. Whatever. But I wrote the check out to the shop directly so that they wouldn't just paint it themselves for $8 and keep the rest for themselves. I scratched their car, I'll pay to fix that, but not for them to buy a big screen TV or something on my dime.

But after I wrote the check, a few days later they give it back to me with a note that's like, "Hey, I am not going to have time to get the car fixed for awhile and I don't want to have to keep this check sitting around that whole time can you just write it out to me?" I gave them the check back with the lie, "Well I just ran out of checks and it's going to take awhile to get more." This is a BLATANT lie because it was like, check #11 or something, by the way. But I don't want be like, "Hey, I know what you motherfuckers are trying to do just take the fucking money."

So a few days later (tonight) I get it back again with a note that's like "that's okay, we'll wait." Fuck you, man. I sent you an obvious lie for a reason. So I sent it back with a note that's like, "No, it is REALLY going to be awhile." I think if they do it again I'll make some dumb note that's like, "My insurance company says it has to be this way."

Oh the other thing that pisses me off is I'm ALWAYS slipping these notes under their door, because I don't want a random person opening it and getting the check. It has my routing number and account number and all that shit. But they ALWAYS tape it to my door while I'm at work. Anyone could open it.

Anyway..... up until then my day was alright. So that's good.

Man, I think I've mentioned it before, but: Sally who I work with is creepy with her children, she like grabs their butts and talks about their levels of hotness.

So today she said, "It was weird, last night I came home, and my son was in his clothes on top of his bed."

I said, "Maybe it was to foil your plans for molesting him."

Then... "Which one was it?"

She couldn't help but smile, "The one with the really good butt."

I also kind of felt bad for her, apparently people at work have been hitching rides home with her, only they don't actually live near her and it puts her way out of the way. The one is the blind guy I hate driving. I sort of halfheartedly offered to do it for her instead, as I have no real need to get up early in the morning (whereas she gets off work at 2am and then has to like, work at her second job at 7am or something), but she said not to. The other is this lady (who wasn't here tonight) who actually lost her license due to some drunk driving. Which.... I feel like she deserves what she gets for drunk driving, but I understand why Sally doormatted it, and just does it. I loathed driving the blind jerky guy home but never really got the courage to be like, "Hey, you're a dick, I'm not doing favors for you anymore." I just pretended I was busy. Though, I have to say, if I were in Sally's position (the lack of sleep) I think it would be enough for me to man up and tell both of them to go to hell. But... I dunno, sleep is extremely important to me, I know a lot of other people who can get by on less.

Things I need to do:

clean
clean
clean
clean
clean
clean.

So, I hung out with my dad and sister & her family yesterday. The 'Phew made up some awesome jokes.

Q. Why did the duck cross the street?
A. He wanted to get hit by a car

Q. Why did the witch make the train come to life?
A. She wanted to make a robot train

There were more, but it was hard to remember them all, they were all so awesome.

This was orig. an email to Ryan, but I just need everyone to know how comprehensive my love of buddy cops and finding relationships like that in my own life is:

OH PS Reading about buddy cops on the blog also made me realize I have a buddy cop at work, and it makes me SO FUCKING HAPPY I can't even tell you. In this case, I am the one too old for this shit because he is ridonkulously younger than me (I told you I work with 18 year olds) but we're always working on projects together and the other day I really felt the buddy cop vibe with him. Complete buddycopdom (not that I don't have elements of the buddycop relationship with others) seems to require:

1) we work on something together. Though I didn't know it at the time, there was a guy who was my reporter all the time at TV-10 who was totally buddy cops with me, even to the point that we had to ride around in the same car all the time. This guy reminds me of that guy.

2) When we're around a third person who clearly thinks we are insane and/or complete idiots, and that happened the other day. It is cemented: I have a buddy cop at work.

I feel like I also have elements of buddycopdom with Todd who sits next to me at work too. Again, I'm pretty sure the people who sit around us think we are idiots.

I dunno, complete buddycopdom is something special... it only ever seems to happen with dudes, but I'm never actually attracted to them. Most of the time I'm not even friends with them outside of work. But somehow..... really nice to have.

So I gave a speech at Toastmaster's today. I feel like I do better when I don't rehearse, actually. Though... maybe that's laziness. Anyway, I did alright. I spoke about dinner with my sister not too long ago (posted the story on Aug 22) and everyone thought it was pretty funny. Kids do, indeed, say the darndest things.

I'm 6 out of ten speeches to be a competent communicator! 1 project away from being a competent leader! A few months of doing what I'm already doing to an Advanced Leader Bronze. Suck on that, world!

So my dad stopped by unexpectedly today. He wanted to look at my car; I have a busted tire. Thankfully, it wasn't slashed again, I ran over a screw, apparently.

I got up the courage, and asked him if he's dating Judy. His answer, "Kinda maybe sorta." Apparently he thinks they might be but nothing's been actively discussed. He says that at his age, and with his family's history of Alzheimer's, not to mention the fact that "I look in the mirror and I haven't gotten any better looking over the years," he's not sure why anyone would bother. I pointed out my grandpa and his girlfriend are even older. Anyway, it's all good, whatever they are to each other.

This week should be good, I took Thurs & Fri off as a whim so I'll have a block of 4 days free after Tues. Also, Cash for Clunkers is almost over, thank god. We've gotten a million calls about it, and half the time we can't even help the person and they get angry. Tomorrow and then done. I mean... we've been in queue for a long time now, so maybe we still will be even after all of this. But hopefully less in queue.

So.... on OKCupid, under "What I do on a Friday Night" I have:

Counting the pile of dead babies in my garage. It's actually quite time consuming, because I'll stop to masturbate and lose count. Plus I don't count very well anyway, so its this whole big frustrating thing.


And this guy instant messaged me:

so is everything in ur profile true....even the what i do on friday nights? :P

hahah man I feel like I'll disappoint you
but no, the state took away my dead babies
now I just use dolls with the eyes goughed out
gouged, even

i was concentrating more on the masturbating thing lol
no dead babies is good

nah, I can't get hard anymore now that they're not real babies


......and then he stopped replying. I wonder why.

I had some good times with my sister's family tonight. It was her birthday on Mon, and I missed the family get together last Saturday (they didn't tell me anything about it until Fri night and I didn't feel like changing my plans at that point, then my plans did change anyway, but I didn't feel like doing the family thing anyway at that point). See.... her kids can be nightmares and sometimes: I'm just not in the mood.

But tonight was awesome. 'Phew Harder (about 2 years old)'s diaper leaked, so they needed to change his pants last minute, and none that fit him were clean. So he had pants on that were a little big. We go out to dinner, and my sister and I were busy ordering, and The 'Phew (about 5) starts freaking out about something. We turn around, and 'Phew Harder has pulled his pants down and is walking around the restaurant with them around his ankles. My sister and I are laughing crazy hard. The guy at the counter is clearly not amused.

So we sit down and are eating. About 1/2 way through the meal, the 'Phew announces, "My daddy made me smell his butt." Again, we all start dying laughing, while the 'Phew keeps earnestly trying to convince us, "He really did!" This goes on for nearly the rest of the meal.

Then, 'Phew Harder finishes before everyone is done, and wants to run through the restaurant..... with his pants around his ankles. He manages to do it several times. the 'Phew insisted on narrating it as well, "Mommy! He pulled his pants off again! Now he's running!" 'Phew Harder was making us laugh so hard that the 'Phew started to try getting his pants off to get the same laughs, but my sister managed to convince him not to.

Of course, later, when we got to their house there were the inevitable hissy fits or whatever. The 'Phew is extremely bossy and gets mad if you don't do everything he says, and 'Phew harder is extremely moody and will get mad for no apparent reason at times. And my brother in law gets extremely angry at them, and it's a whole big thing. But at least I got some laughs out of it.

In other news, I am now fairly sure that my dad is dating a lady named Judy. My orig. suspicion came when he told me she was coming to his house to help put things away (he'd had to take a bunch of stuff out of his closets because they were being painted, and was putting it all back) the other day. I mean.... you have to really like someone to help put their shit away, right? Also: he's been playing golf with her a lot. And he HATES golf.

So now that I was alone with my sister's family, I decided to inquire if they knew anything about this Judy. I said, "Hey, is dad dating a lady named Judy?"

My brother in law was immediately like, "HA!" and my sister was like, "Don't give him more ammunition!" Apparently they had been arguing whether or not dad's been dating this woman for a little while now. They didn't know the closet thing, but apparently my dad's been hanging out with her all the time and telling them stories his hanging out with her. According to my brother in law and his friend Nick, "No guy will do all that stuff with a lady unless he's interested in her." According to my sister, "You know dad! He's a friendly guy, and he's bored a lot." Her defense about the closet thing is, "She's retired and widowed like dad. She's probably just bored." Dude, I don't care how bored I am, I'm not helping clean someone's house for them unless we are super duper close. I didn't even help my own dad put his stuff away! Though--I was sick at the time.

Anyway, it seems fast, but if he's happy I'm happy for him. The only thing is, since her name is Judy, I can't get this song out of my head. She's not that kind of girl, booger!

So here's a review of the Time Traveler's Wife. No one probably cares, but I'm itching to get it out of me.

So I had expectations, because I read the book. I expected something wonderful.

But I also know there are very few things based on a book that are as good as the book.

Anyway, the basic premise of the book is that there's a guy who time travels. But it's not a scientific advancement, it's a genetic affliction he has. I call it an affliction, because it's completely involuntary and causes him quite a lot of trouble, inconvenience, and even mortal danger at times. For whatever reason, the time traveling often takes him back to places or people that are important in his life. One of these places is this meadow where his wife grew up. So for her, when they first meet, he's like in his 40's or something, and she's 6. For him, when they first meet, they're more even ages and he has no idea who she is though she's known him as a semi-regular fixture in her life since she was a child.

It's not a science fiction novel. That is, it's not written like a science fiction novel, and they keep it in the "literature" section, not the science fiction section. And I know tons of people who wouldn't be caught dead reading sci fi who love this novel. It's won tons of awards, has been a huge bestseller, etc. etc.

Anyway, I don't really recommend seeing it to anyone, now that I've seen it. It's fairly faithful to the original work, in that they didn't add anything bad. But it's so.... shallow. There's no real reason to like or dislike the characters, or for the characters to even be together, except "destiny." But while the book does say that things can't be changed or prevented when he's going back in time (such as the car accident that killed his mother), it doesn't act like they're together because they have to. It is the other way around, he is drawn to her past because he already loves her in the present. And they have personalities, so you see why they love each other. I dunno, I'd hoped it'd be somewhat more like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind... I felt like those characters and their unconventional/tragic love story were fleshed out, so I thought it was possible these characters and their unconventional/tragic love story could be fleshed out. But... maybe it's just better as a book.

I had a crazy, epic long dream last night. Probably really boring, so skip it unless you're into that.

So it started out that I was going away for a weekend for the wedding of one of my friends from high school. There was this really awkward communal shower thing going as far as bathroom arrangements. Creepy.

Also there: a chick I used to work with at Borders, and two characters from a TV show I've been watching on Hulu recently (Kyle XY... I feel so lame, it's supposed to be sci fi, but it's actually really adolescent soap opera-y as well... not to mention having originally aired on "ABC Family." But, for what it is, it's good, and I have no life, so I watch it... better than ALF at least, right?). Then somehow it came out that the Borders chick was related to the Kyle XY people.

I was with a bunch of people who were basically strangers to me, and I was nervous, but eventually I got to really like them and want to be friends. I think there was even bowling involved, which I normally dislike.

Then the wedding ended in this crazy holographic ghost thing, I don't even know how to describe it. Like there was the actual wedding, then someone had hired some special effects guy to make it look like ghosts in the house were having a wedding afterwards. In the dream it was really cool, though I think it would be kind of creepy, like "why have dead people at your wedding?" in real life. The people getting married weren't even goth or anything.

Then afterwards when we went home, my mom wanted to see the pictures or something, so she insisted on taking me to my old high school, which is apparently where the bride was hanging out. It was really depressing going back to school, because there had been a lot of changes to both the building, and the people there. Though, a guy I work with now was somehow the assistant principal, and talking to him was alright.

The bride had a big bowl of starburst candy at the table. I think it was because I was mad jonesing for some earlier yesterday and couldn't find any at work (80 vending machines, one convenience store, no starburst? Lame). Yep, that's the one part of the dream I can explain. I saw some of the people from the wedding, but now that we weren't all stuck in a house together, they didn't seem that interested in being friends.

Then I was sort of lost outside the school, I couldn't find my mom anymore. I was trying to get back to where our car was but I couldn't find it. So then I decided to run home on foot. But there was slippery ice and I kept falling down. THen I somehow ended up in a car driving, but I couldn't open my eyes up all the way to see what I was doing. Then I woke up.

It was dreary outside. And I was dreary inside. And it's a good song.

I feel like I'm repeating some stupid cycle over and over again. Like that saying that the definition of craziness is doing the same thing over and over and thinking that you'll get a different result from the times before. But I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

When I was in high school, I made friends. All of them hated growing up in Bloomington Normal and got out as fast as they could. We lost contact.

When I worked at Borders, I made friends. All of them hated Bloomington Normal and saw it as a minor detour on their way to other, better places. All the ones I was close to moved. We lost contact.

This latest batch of friends, I was sort of adopted by because I was friends with one of them already. I thought it'd be different. She grew up here, went to college here, was stuck two hours away and was constantly looking for a way to get back here. The rest went to college here and had lived here several years since then, had good jobs here. One owned a house here. They weren't temporary people, I thought. But now, most of the group moved or are in the process of moving. I don't want to, but we'll probably lose contact.

But another theme though my life is I have is of people getting angry at me or bored with me somehow and purposefully losing contact. I mentioned that that happened with Rebecca to Connie at work once. She said Rebecca was stupid and I'm a good friend. But I have to think that opinion is because Connie doesn't really know me very well outside of work. I have to think Rebecca didn't plan anything like this from the start, and probably would've said the same about anyone else who blew me off back when we were close. What is it about me that doesn't inspire a lasting friendship? Am I whiney? Annoying? Boring?

I guess I'm depressed about it because Josh and I had a fight. Though I'm shitty at reading him, even worse than I am about reading people anyway, I don't think it's a friendship-ending fight. At least I hope it isn't. But the thing that really bothered me is what caused the fight: the fact that he was bored hanging out with me this time. We hadn't seen each other in a long time, even longer than the usual, and I had been looking forward to seeing him. When we hang out is the only time I really get to talk to him, he doesn't really seem interested in talking to me when he's not over here, even the few times our schedules do align. I guess he doesn't like talking as much as I do, or thinks I'm not into activities his other friends are, or there's just not much to do at my house because I don't have cable or video games. But he doesn't like hanging out at his house either.

Anyway, when he said he wanted to leave early, even though I had already taken Sunday off of work just to hang out with him, I was upset. I didn't mean to be a dick to him, but I pretty much made him immediately so I could be alone to cry and watch ALF. I didn't mean to take it out on him or anything, it's not his fault if I'm boring or whatever. I am just terrified that I'll lose the only friend I have left in this area. But the harder I try to hold onto him, the more uncomfortable it is for him, and it just drives him further away.

Also: Tina, if you're reading this: I hadn't called you last week because I had the sore throat. Archie called me today to see if I'd talk to you because you were stressed out about his stupid relatives, and I lied and pretended I had to go to work today. But the reality is 1) I didn't want to bother you with my stupid bullshit if you were already stressed 2) I don't like Archie telling me what to do, esp. since I don't want him or you to think I called you just because he called me, and I had planned to call you tomorrow anyway way before this--I typically don't call you on weekends because you have him there with you and you're usually busy doing projects with him.

Well:

I've got my job at Toastmasters back whoo whoo. Though, they actually lectured me enough beforehand that I was really tempted to tell them to shove it.

Seriously: long, long talk on how important it is to take everything about Toastmaster's seriously, and what a responsibility it is, blah blah blah.

Fuck you, I'm not a child. You don't have to make me understand how important it is to wipe my ass after I shit.

I wasn't appointed to the UN.

I'm not Spiderman, and my lapse in judgement didn't coincidently kill Uncle Ben. I don't have great power, there isn't great responsibility.

I'm not getting paid.

My job is not rocket surgery.

No one will die.

The oceans won't boil into space, the mountains will not crumble.

Your organization isn't as fucking important as you think it is.

It's a fun hobby. It's a great way to develop leadership and speaking skills. It's a great way to meet people. You earn little initials you can put after your name that look good to employers. A degree of professionalism should be required, yes. But it is not the alpha and omega of my life, and I really don't think it should be either.

I dunno.... even though the Prez was mad at me, and did want to give me the same consequences as the others, I admire her more and more for the fact that she didn't treat me like a child as the others did. She was like (ok I'm paraphrasing, but still) look, you fucked up, this is why you shouldn't fuck up, here are the consequences. Whereas the others, as I said, feel the need to rhapsodize at length on what a disservice I did to the club and the organization and how important my role is and how ignorant I am about the importance of toastmasters to let them down this way I am and how they hope I take this second chance seriously and blahdy blahdy blahdy bullshit.

Well joke's on them, I WON'T take it seriously. I still put a LOT of things in my life way before Toastmasters. Oh, I'm not saying I won't do an excellent job, because I will, because, as I've said before, IT'S NOT BRAIN SCIENCE.

Oh, and you know why the decision was repealed? Like 30% of the division didn't get trained. HA! I'm not the only one, motherfuckers!

Meh... I can't sleep. And I had other stuff I meant to say in the last post only it became a ramble about my throat.

Oh, plus I have even more throat news: I was webmding it up, and I have to give props to the doctors, it actually does seem more like they maybe got it right with strep. The only thing that worries me is apparently rabbits can catch strep too and I'd been interacting my rabbit as much as usual the last few days, which I probably shouldn't've. I don't want 007 to feel crappy like I do... nor do I want to drive to champaign and pay a vet bill.

Speaking of, at work:

Sally: *talking about this school called Parkland*
Me: Where is Parkland, anyway?
Sally: Champaign
Me: Oh, that's where I had my rabbit's testicles removed!

Anyway, there is more Toastmaster soap opera... at this point it doesn't even really annoy me, since I already thought it was done I'm not emotionally invested at this point. But anyway, something or other came down from the District* leadership because a bunch of other people missed training, that there has to be make-up training. Well... the prez of my club didn't think I should get an exception just for me RE: training, but if a bunch of other people get make-up training, I should to. The area governor apparently agrees with her. But I guess the division leadership is fighting her on it or something.

Which... I know the division governor, and he takes Toastmasters a a bit too seriously. A prev. officer of my club was talking to me at one point about how he was all trying to make her go out of her way to do training and stuff back in the day (though--she had more leverage than I do in turning it all down, no one wanted her post and she said she wouldn't do a bunch of extra crap from the very beginning. It took a lot of nudging to get her to take the office to begin with). And I sort of get why he's SO into Toastmasters. He's like 70 and has the same piece of shit job I do. In fact, I admire him--I would be so fucking bitter at that point, but instead he makes the most of it, esp. by throwing himself so far into Toastmasters. And he's a genuinely nice guy who's gone out of his way more than once to help me with Toastmaster things. But... it does seem like he could relax a little bit if the District is mandating this, and the Prez (who was also none too happy that I f-ed up) & Area Governor are going along with it.

I have had "Boombox" and "I'm on a Boat" from Incredibad stuck in my head for like three days straight.

My friend Todd at work is getting more and more bitter, which makes me sad, because he's the most positive of my group in general. He actually LIKES customers, that crazy S.O.B. But, even for him it's wearing thin. We have been super busy for like the last month. Because of the economy & cutbacks and all that, they've let us know that they are more than prepared to keep us understaffed for the foreseeable future. I don't like it, but sort of understand that it's business, and am glad that they aren't laying people off. But he sort of takes it personally. Today he was saying, "The way they keep us in queue all day, you can tell they've never taken a call themselves. It's like on the old Roman galleys... the guy cracking the whip doesn't care about the people rowing."

I was pretty bitter too, though. Between the sore throat, the constant queue, and the customer who called me a "stupid bitch" and hung up on me because I didn't get the spelling of his crazy name correct the very first time when he rattled it off a thousand miles per hour. Oh also yesterday I had a customer specifically ask to be transferred to another rep because she didn't like my voice. Every time I think there's no new way to insult my voice, someone finds it. Though... oddly, like a week ago, for the first time, I actually had a lady compliment my voice. She said it was "slammin'" and that she hoped I was in a choir. My mental sarcasm scan came out clean.

I don't know if it's just the queue, but it feels like my group is getting more and more upset. Sally got in trouble for a really dumb thing and her supervisor treats her like she's a three year old. Todd, like I said, gets really frustrated about the queue. Connie and I are extremely frustrated at our lack of success in getting promoted. Connie, esp, being like 50, blames her age, and then also lack of college education. I tell her I'm not getting anywhere either, but she still holds to the orig. belief.

I'm getting angry because even though I HAVE had to go to the colon doctor more than once this year (blood in the stool--I feel like I have to get that stopped) I still don't qualify for FMLA... I think it's some retarded thing about me being part time. You know what dude, my colitis isn't part time. If I have to poop, I have to poop, and unless you can bring a computer to me in the toilet, there are just some days I'm going to have to call in. But telling people that doesn't seem to work. And my supervisor seems to think my spotty attendance record is why I'm not being promoted. And that's why I've been working all week though my throat feels like shit.

________
* from small to big: club, area, division, district. There may be a few in between or something, but there you go.

I had something I wanted to blog the other day but didn't because it was busted again.... I'm really getting fed up. I don't understand, either. Like every other thing googley works like a charm. Blogger used to have problems before google took it over, then they stopped, and now years later it's worse than it ever was. I can't really remember. Eh, whatever.

Anyway, since Weds evening I've had a horrible sore throat... and no other cold or whatever symptoms. I orig. thought it was rock band related, because I sang till I was past hoarse--hey, it's the last time I'm going to play it, why not? But it kept on and on. I don't know if the rockband thing made it more susceptible to infection or if it's a coincidence, but... ow.

I fiiiinally gave up and went to a doctor today... I'm not 100% sure if he knew anything or cared at all. He says it's most likely strep or mono, and considering I have no other symptoms, I do not think it is strep or mono. But they gave me antibiotics so hopefully whatever the hell else it is dies.

But I have been going to work despite the sore throat, because my attendance is not so stellar. Actually, for awhile it was the sort of sore throat that really hurt to swallow but not that much to talk.... but today started really hurting at the end. So I'm working tomorrow, because (due to pure coincidence) I only have to be on the phone like one hour, the rest I'm doing other meetings and things. Weds is my day off. Then I took most of Thurs off (if you do it ahead of time your attendance isn't damaged) and then most of Fri off (which I was anyway because Josh is coming over). Hopefully I feel better by then.

Oh my god... the most hilarious thing:

I'm petting 007 he's all relaxed and stretched out.

I have like a really loud fart.... and he bolts halfway across the room like a monster is hot on his heels. I have another one.... and he goes the rest of the way. I have a third one, and he freezes.

Poor bunny.... the smell hasn't even gotten to him yet

007!

So:

The Toastmasters stuff is now resolved. Though I orig. thought the only reason to go to the training I missed was for President's Distinguished Award, which was already fulfilled, the real reason is that I don't get credit for being Sgt. at Arms if I don't.

My side:

--I think the training I missed is BS. I already have a booklet about the job and have learned from the lady who previously did it. The guy who locally taught the training hasn't even served in the position, so what would he know that I couldn't get out of reading whatever he did?

--they train every six months, we only elect new officers every year. You'd think fucking going to the other six months training would count, since it's the same shit, but you have to go twice

--they offered make up training last year. The reason it's not allowed this year is because we have a different Division governor, and he decided this awhile ago. It sounds like he just basically doesn't want to deal with it rather than anything about teaching me responsibility or anything. I mean I know it was irresponsible for me to miss it, but it seems irresponsible to not help me (or anyone like me) just because he doesn't feel like it.

--the thing I've already said about the board members of Toastmasters really thinking Toastmasters is more important than it already is. "Dude, this is a hobby, I'm already doing everything fine without training, there's no money involved, just let me do what I'm doing." "No, our bylaws say you need training!" I think it's a little lame you basically only get one shot. Your punishment for missing that one shot is having to drive five hours to a different one. Your punishment for not going to those is being forced out of office. Dude, I'm sorry that I'm absentminded and don't drive well.

--this is an elected position. 1) I ran unopposed. No one else wants to do this job. So stop telling me about squandering an opportunity someone else wanted. 2) Shouldn't the people who elected me decide whether or not I fucked up bad enough to be replaced, rather than the higher ups?


Their side:

--They told me OVER AND OVER what date/time etc. the local meeting was and I promised up and down I would go.

--They told me up and down (I don't remember this, but it sounds plausible, as I started tuning out stuff about how important this meeting is after they'd told me how important it was over and over) ALL the reasons I should be going to this meeting.

So since I sorta saw their side (and they are my friends and I don't want to be a dick to them) I didn't really make a thing about it. I guess they're going to elect someone for the morning meetings who gets credit, and then have me still do the job at night (I offered, so I could look like the noble one who cares more about this than the credit--plus I get time off the phone to do this).

The other thing they didn't really like is I notified the Prez I hadn't gone, and she said I couldn't get credit. I figured I could get a make up set up, because I know the guy who taught the local class and he loves ribs so I was going to bribe him into doing it for me with food. But first I wanted to make sure it counted, so I asked this guy who knows EVERYTHING about Toastmasters to see if there was some sort of loophole and that I could make the make up count.

Well, the guy who knows everything is the Division Governor, and the rib guy is the Area Governor, and they thought I was being a dick going over the Prez's head. I didn't really think about it as going over heads, I was thinking, "who is the Toastmasters freak who knows about all their stupid bylaws."

So I dunno what the Area governor really thinks about this, because I never contacted him. The Prez was mad at me but cordial about it. The division governor was mad and, I thought, rather snippy to me about it. So this was the verdict. They weren't total dicks though, I did offer to give my Sgt. at Arms pin back (toastmasters gouges individual clubs on the costs for little rewards like that) and they let me keep it.

Oh the last annoying thing is I still have to go to board meetings (which I hated going to in the first place) but now I don't get a vote on stuff. I think they did that to make me feel better about things, but they didn't know I freaking HATE board meetings. I'm thinking of gradually ceasing to attend them. Or suddenly ceasing to attend them.

So I had a weirdly great conversation with someone who works in a different department. I'm going to apply for a job in that dept, and my supervisor has been encouraging me to consult with other people working in the dept. so that I have "done my homework" so to speak in researching the opening. Usually I either go with someone she knows or just randomly look up someone in the dept. that works under the supervisor I am interviewing with. But this time I actually had the option of going with someone I know--the person they chose over me the last time I interviewed.

Her and I had actually not known each other that well at the time, haven't talked since, but I felt like she would remember me because we actually had this one sort of defining conversation not too long before she left. I had been to this BS "group interview" for a different position. I was crying on the way out, and this was a year ago when I had everything horrible happening to me. I'm doing my best to get out of the building so I can go and cry in private, but of course--on the way out I see someone else from my department. I try to avoid her, but she stops me and we talk. It actually was a good talk. She had had a family member die recently, and had been trying to get out of the CRC for several years, so she really knew a lot of the stuff I was going through.

So she did remember me, and gave me a lot of good information for the job. But we also just talked a lot about the CRC, and my mom/her family member again, and a lot of just random things. The call actually ended because the phone got cut off--I might've called her back to say goodbye, but I reeeeally had to pee and 007 needed to be fed. It makes me want the job even more, because now I feel like I already would have a friend in the dept. I'm going to. I guess I'll see how that goes though.

In other news: 007 is the cutest thing in the world. Today he was hopping around behind this cardboard box. I couldn't see him, except when he hopped, just his little fat butt would come up. I laughed, and it would startle him and he'd stick his cute little ears and beady little eyes up above the cardboard to see what the noise was. Then he'd go back to hopping. Eventually I wouldn't be able to help myself laughing again, and the cycle was then repeated several times. A-freaking-dorable.

Man, I forgot to mention the best parts about the party!

1) Julie's mom called. She looked at it, and said "its my mom." I thought that she was just going to hit ignore or something (she had on a previous call she got that night) so I yelled (in my best Eugene Mirman imitation) "Tell her to go to hell and hang up on her." So Julie did answer it, and her mom heard me say "hang up on her." Julie managed to pretend it was non-related. I felt bad, but it was hilarious. We were all dying trying not to laugh while Julie was on the call.

2) We were talking about how rabbit poop looks like bee bees (I have no idea how one spells bee bees) so we were talking about marketing it to anyone who wants low impact ammunition, and we were trying to add high highfalutin words to the description like "artisan," "organic," "hand crafted," etc. so I thesaurused "artisan" and for whatever reason, one of the adjectives that came up was proletarian, which we found hilarious. So we started talking about how rabbit poop was going to be the ammunition of the Marxist revolution and how we were going to take down the bourgeoisie wit it. Sort of a "you had to be there" thing but it was pretty hilarious.

3) We decided Laurie and I should be on an infomercial selling the rabbit poop ammunition and all-kosher Bacon Salt. I'd be the really dumb one asking questions, and she'd be the one who demonstrated how the product works.

So I hosted a par-tee. I was sad because it was a going away party for Julie & Lothar, but I was happy because I got to hang out with them, and Laurie, and Frank. I don't know if it was the best party I've ever thrown, but how can I fail with 007 at my side?

People voluntarily watched him about half the time we were there. Julie called it "Rabbit Vision." I'm proud to say that everyone he meets seems charmed by him, and says he has way more personality than most rabbits they've seen.

I'm at the point where I should really rabbit proof all my wires, he really really wants to be on the carpet and is potty trained. But I have some business involving a stool sample, my dad's birthday, the AIC I've neglected so badly, etc. this weekend, so I really don't know if I'll get it all done.

Anyway, the party made me remember all the good parties I hosted back when I was at borders. The other good side effect is it actually makes me clean. My good friends are so understanding that they let me get away with filth when it's one on one so I now need multiple people around to shame myself. But... again with a loose rabbit I feel like I'm going to get more vigilant anyway.

I guess I will see Julie & Lothar once before they leave. They're doing something or other involving a horrible movie this weekend, and while I'll be busy for most of it, I'm at least going to drop in to give them their going away presents which hadn't arrived by the time of my party.

Yaaaay!

I found a good song to be obsessed with after going so long without. I dunno... I felt like I was becoming an old person, not really caring about music after a certain age. My parents and sister did it...

I don't know if it's been the depression or just not bumping into good new music as often as I did back in the day, or even just the total frustration of having gigs and gigs of music that you'd previously ripped or sorted.... and then having your computer burn out with no back up. But it's been hard. I listen to music in the car or when I'm with Josh, but haven't really been able to sink my teeth into anything for awhile, you know?

Anyway, it's from the new(er) Wolf Parade album, called At Mount Zoomer or something like that. The song is Kissing the Beehive. It just fucking rocks.... I don't know why I decided to listen to it today, I'd pretty much decided the new album wasn't that good when I got it, (and it might not be), but the song has me obsessed.

I think part of the reason I never got into it is I got it back when I had the fucked up neighbors who would key my car or slash my tires if I played my music above a whisper, and was losing my MP3 player all the time. Back in the day, Rebecca observed (and it's totally true) that Wolf Parade just doesn't sound that good at a reasonable volume, but it's somehow totally perfect when blasted. In the car: this song is magic. It's a crazy dramatic thing--there's something about dramatic music that when it's good, it's GREAT--about 10 min. long. The first bit is slow and good. The next bit, I bet I could get even my friends who don't like WP to like, because it doesn't have the guy's voice, which everyone hates. It's basically just rocking out until the next part, which has the same tune/speed but has singing. Then after that there's a random rock out without words.

I also have to give an honorable mention to The Bens cover of "I Touch Myself." I've never really loved or hated the orig. song, it's just always been there. But two straight dudes singing it to each other (Folds & Lee) with so much gusto is hilarious, plus I can't get enough of Folds' piano action. Kweller says he's not involved in the song because he was "too busy touching himself." Actually, accidently finding that in my pile of stuff (from Josh, I think) got me into "categorize music mode" which I've badly needed to do (still badly need to do, only got a little of the massive job done) which reminded me I had the Wolf Parade.

I ask you: is there anything on earth more delicious than a perfectly ripe peach?

But it was a rhetorical question, because if you say it isn't I will hurt you. Because there's nothing! Nothing!

Well... technically: I think the reason I enjoy a good peach so much is because it's so rare. Peaches at the grocery store suck, I'd rather have canned even. I only find good peaches like once a year, if that, so they're good + they're special so that makes them more good. If I could get them any time I want, I'd probably not care.

ANYWAY, this is obviously the prelude to telling you I got my hands on some good peaches (wink wink). I don't know how, but my dad found a deal on some good Georgia peaches. He emailed me first, saying he wasn't sure if he should get them, because there's like a half-bushel minimum, which is quite a lot of peaches. HA! I could eat a half bushel myself, much less splitting it three ways (him, me, my sister). I mean, it IS a lot of peaches. But like I said--a good peach is like crack to me. Only if I was like a crack addict and crack only existed once a year. So anyway I've only had 1 so far today, but I inhaled like 3 yesterday in one sitting. Yay, peaches!

In other news, I ditched the toastmasters thing, and I feel good about it. I won't feel good about it when I have to talk to them, but seriously, F them if they think I'm going to spend my Saturday driving around 5 hours for no good reason.

And thanks to that, I've gotten a LOT done today. My house needed cleaning very much, and with what I've done so far, I've managed to make it look like a regular person lives here, not some sort of un potty trained Rabbit/hobo combination. I feel good about that. I have some more cleaning left, but I cleaned the floors which had rabbit poop/litter all over them, and other objects that only really produced clutter but made it difficult to get to the rabbit poop/litter. Now all I really have to do is clean up some other clutter on tables etc.

007 is doing great. I thought trying to give him the pain killer medication would be a huge problem like holding him down and forcing it in, but they must've put something tasty in it because I can hold it out and give it to him, no coercion. He is active and eating, which are both good signs. I'm sort of tempted not to go to the vet follow up a week from now, because it's basically $70 more and a trip to Champaign just for them to be like, "yep, you're right, he's doing fine." I mean, I'm going to monitor the incision and his behavior and all, but I feel like I can gauge this particular situation on my own.

So today I saw the saddest thing in the world: a man riding a tandem bike by himself.

Actually, it wasn't sad, it was awesome. I just wanted to give you a chuckle at his expense before I reveal the best part of this story: I saw him with his little daughter on the bike earlier, heading towards the woods. When I saw him the second time, he was going the opposite direction, with just her sad little helmet hanging off the second handlebars.

Yay, murder! Anyway, I was in a park in Champaign killing time while 007 was being neutered at a vet's office down there. Yep, little girls being murdered, cute rabbits' testicles being chopped off, can this post get any more disturbing? Yes, because I'm about to tell you about my poop. I took 4 dumps the 4 hours I was down there. One in a porta potty, one in meijer, and two in walmart. Why a second time at Walmart? Surprisingly, their toilets were the least gross by a good margin. I have to say, however, that during my second shit there, there were some kids shouting about fish or something to their grandma for a whole long time, and I remember thinking, "007 is probably having a better time than I am in Champaign."

And yay, tomorrow I get to drive 2 & 1/2 hours to attend this BS toastmasters officer training thing, and then drive 2 & 1/2 hours back. I'm kind of mad.... I thought we needed it for this award that is a big deal or something, but I was reading the fine print on it today and it said only 4 officers need to be trained for the thing, and we've already got that many who went to the one I forgot to go to. I think it's fucked up to have to do it if there's no real reason. I mean, I don't even have to learn anything, all I do is set up the room for every meeting (which the previous person in that position already showed me how) But I've been promising up and down to go for a long time now, I stupidly accidently missed the one that was located in town, and I don't want to be a prick about it. I dunno, given how many digestive problems I had today, the choice might be taken out of my hands anyway.

My brain is completely fucking fried. I don't know if I've been playing too much Sims 3 or what it is but in the last few weeks I've fucked up so many times. Mostly just missing/being late for things. For instance:

--I missed a toastmaster meeting that I had literally been harassed via email about every day for a month, with intermittent reminders before that

--Late for a mentoring meeting

--COMPLETELY forgot about the 'Phew's birthday. It's even the nephew who I have his birthday pretty much memorized. Didn't buy him anything, didn't show up to his party, nothing.

--today I missed the pre-neuter checkup my rabbit needs. So the neutering appt. which was sposed to be tomorrow is now going to be the checkup, and the neutering time is now unknown. Again, this was fairly important, the sooner he gets his nads gone the sooner I can play with him again and not fear being sprayed, and the sooner I can completely potty train him so I don't have poop in my kitchen anymore/I can actually let him out into the rest of my house.

s anyone else sick of Green Day being political? Dude, you used to
make songs about masturbation. You think I'm going to listen to your
opinion on politics? That's like the Bloodhound Gang trying to tell
me how to fix the economy. And hey--you may say, "Amy, you are no
more mature than Green Day, you make masturbation jokes all the time!
Does that mean your opinion doesn't matter?"

Hell no, my opinion doesn't matter. I didn't even vote in the last
election and I'm not even ashamed! You think Obama wasn't going to
win fucking ILLINOIS? Even if he had died or something, he would've
won posthumously. By a LANDSLIDE. My state will never matter, but
doubly so when it's the state a democratic candidate is actually from.

Plus, aside from their lyrics, Green Day's music had just gone
downhill. Green Day is SHITTY EMO nowadays, and no one even
acknowledges it. They went straight from pop punk to emo, only
they're respected because their emo is about politics. You know what,
Billy Joe? You can suck Max Bemis' dick, he doesn't pretend to be what
he isn't and actually makes GOOD emo instead of BAD emo. Hell, you
can even suck the dude from Fall Out Boy's dick, he at least KNOWS
he's a whiney-ass girl.

1) Blogger: get your shit together! You are down 50% of the time I try to post anything lately.

2) Does it make me weird that every time I read about the Nestle cookie dough recall (it is fine but apparently some other cookie dough out there got e coli in it so they are doing a preemptive recall) that I think, "Mmmm... cookie dough. That sounds good. I should go out and get some."

3) 007 has developed the new unpleasant problem of spraying pee, EVERYWHERE. I was hanging out with him on a blanket (he loves blankets more than anything, he poops all over them to mark them so I'm thinking this is another marking issue) and he got it all over me. I seriously had to change my clothes and take a shower. Here would be a great time for a joke about golden showers, but my heart is not in it.

4) Had an awful time sleeping last night. I was up till like 5 am. Which I probably would've written this post then, if FUCKING BLOGGER HADN'T BEEN DOWN.

5) Work's been as good as work can be lately. I got my mid-cycle review, and I am an AWESOME employee. I know some people dread that sort of thing, but I love it because it's basically all compliments. I only really have one thing I need to work harder at, and I sort of knew about it already. The rest was everything awesome I do every day. It's nice to be reminded of that. My friend Todd from work and I have also had an inordinate amount of fun the last couple of days. He logged off to do something, and was sort of teasing like, "Amy? Are you going to tell on me? I need to be supervised." And I knew it was something valid to log off for and our supervisor wouldn't be mad or anything. But instead I was like, "Todd, I can't spend all my time policing you, I'm ACTUALLY working." Then we got into this thing about how my full time job should be watching him to make sure he does his job properly. I said I'd listen to all his calls and be all Simon Cowell on him (Yes, I despise American Idol as much as the next person but I'm not too proud to reference it). So for the last couple of days, we have kept saying things back and forth like, "Worst call ever," "Your typing makes me want to vomit," etc. to him in a horrible British accent. Also, I noticed my British accent is more on the Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins side of the horrible British accent spectrum than the Simon side of the horrible British accent spectrum, so I started adding references to Mary Poppins as well.

Another thing we were discussing is the fact we have to read out the agent's name when we answer the phone, but the agents get to choose how it's entered, and they sometimes put it in there a dumb way. In particular, a bunch of agents just put in their last name, so we say, "Thank you for calling _______'s after hours service, this is Amy speaking, in order to better assist you, may I have your name please?" and I feel really dumb just saying the last name, like the agent and I are in gym class together or something. Then we were joking around how we should say our last name too instead of our first name, I.E. "Thank you for calling Fitzpatrick's after hours service, this is Cox, what up?" So we've been taking great glee in calling each other by our last names as well as other staff members.

Hadn't talked to Nicole in like forever, she was nice enough to say hi to me on facebook:

Nicole HELLO
Amy Heeey
Nicole how is boomtown
Amy it's okay how's Spring?
Nicole im doing great. kinda sad for a minute over a stupid breakup. i am
giving myself till saturday then i am giving it up completly. but i
will see him saturday as his band is playing at my fav bar... and i go
there for the prom every year and i will be in a cute dress so... his
loss if he decides to act a fool
Amy awww he is a fool though you are the shit, man!
Nicole ugh i broke up with him then... i regreted it
then he was all "im not going to get hurt again" and i was all
"whatever dude.. i like you" and he and i probably should just stay
away from one another
Amy haha ah
Nicole all the sudden when i got single 3 of my besties got boys. i was like
WTF i need you girls
Amy aww well if you ever need me I'm always single
Nicole haha thanks
Amy we can go to vegas, buy a male hooker, and then not have the nerve to
do anything with him
Nicole at this rate i might have the nerve
Amy haha well I can come along just so you have an excuse to put a sock on the
door knob to warn someone that you're getting some
Nicole thanks amy thanks a lot
Amy you're welcome
Nicole you know since the Damn Noodles came here.. i have gone two times! only two it is across from my work!
Amy WHAT?? I'm disappointed in you
Nicole this damn diet has ruined my love
Nicole i gotta go read my cat power book and go to sleeeep
maybe i will make my stupid ex go to noodles with me once he realizes
he does love me speak of the devil he is online
Amy THE DEVIL IS ONLINE AND HE'S USING FACEBOOK

Awww.... best book ever! I hope they don't ruin it.

Well, another thing I had to do was talk to HR about FMLA (it's this law that says, among other things, if you have a chronic medical condition you may be able to get your absences sort of "not count" as far as promotions and stuff are concerned). I did that and was sort of irritated at the lady I talked to. The law states you have to see your doctor twice a year, and I typically see mine once. Yeah, I don't have as bad of colitis as some people have. But, unlike most people, it won't go into motherfucking remission. But I understand, the law's the law and I'm not going to argue with someone who has no control over it.

But why I got irritated at her was the way she put it, which was basically comparing it to someone who doesn't have to see a doctor twice a year because they only have a debilitating migraine once a year. Look, I have a debilitating migraine in my pants once a month on average, and have a slightly lower level of nuisance concerning that nearly every day. But since I tried every fucking medication available in college, many with horrible side effects, and found something that keeps me able to cope with it most of the time, I don't really go to see my doctor all the time just to say, "Hey, I'm doing about the same." She also said Crohn's was covered a lot of times, but not really colitis or IBS. That pissed me off because Colitis may be more unusual than Crohn's, but they're a lot alike, way more similar to each other than Colitis is to IBS. In fact, I've never known anyone to land in the hospital because of straight up IBS with no other complications, but there are tons of people (I admit, this doesn't include me) who've had colitis that had to. And a lot of people I know who have IBS can avoid problems if they just avoid certain foods. Not so with me. Yes, there are foods more likely to trigger problems than others, cheese and coffee come to mind there, but I can have a fucking saltine cracker or potato with nothing on it and feel miserable the whole day almost as easily. So if she had just said, "I'm sorry it's the law" or something I would not mind but I was kind of annoyed that she tried to explain the law to me in a manner that I felt belittled my problem.

This week has not been kind to me. It's been fraught with headaches & colitis issues galore. Headaches are the weather (it seems like they never go away), don't know what the colitis probs are. Plus it seems like there's more blood in my stool than usual (yes, I am just as disturbed as you are that that sentence correctly implies I have a "usual" amount of blood coming out of my anus) which worries me. If I can't get the blood to stop by Sun, I've decided I'm going to get my poop doctor to see me. Which, I am not looking forward to, because he'll probably want to do a colonoscopy. Which, unlike most people, I'm not that worried about having stuff put up my butt. They do it while I'm unconscious. It's the laxatives & endless water poos leading up to the event. So hopefully: I can get the blood issue resolved on my own.

This week's been busy for work-related development, which makes me fairly happy in general. In toastmasters, I'm one project away from my Competent Leader award. That last project is mentoring, which I had to do speeches to be eligible for. I did 2 speeches this week, so I should be eligible for that now. That also puts me only 5 speeches away from my Competent Communicator award. I was also elected to be an officer, which I just have to do for 6th months and I automatically get my Advanced Leader Bronze award. All this stuff looks really good for getting promoted.

Then, I've met with my mentor in Subrogation the first time this week. I really want to go into subrogation, so she's giving me information on what I have to do to make that happen, and could probably help me network or get some job shadowing in.

Then, I had 2 promotion interviews yesterday. To be honest: not sure how hot I did on either. But there's always a chance. The first was for sub, which as I said I really want to do. The second was for ACC which I don't want to do that badly, but IS a promotion and would be easier to be promoted from than my current position. I actually did worse on that interview, but there's like 6 positions available, so who knows.

What I really need to work on is my AIC (designation that makes you look good for claims, which both sub and the ACC job would be). You have to take 4 tests, one each quarter. I passed my first test but sat the last two quarters out because I was so busy with various other things (not to mention my laziness). It's a pain in the ass, because you do it all on your own time, but I want to look like I can be self motivated and follow things through. So hopefully in the next few days I'll start that up again for this quarter and kick the second test's motherfucking ass!

I wish I could talk to my supervisor a little more about some of this stuff (the interviews especially, she is a help with) but she's actually out sick right now. She needs her gallbladder out. I told her I had mine out and said how much I felt better afterwards. But I didn't tell her the whole process was the worst week of my life at the time (it might still be the worst, I have difficulties deciding if those actual physical problems I had then or the emotional problems I had last year were worse). I don't feel like this is a lie of omission though, because I had a lot of complications I already know she doesn't or likely won't have (the orig. misdiagnosis, difficult veins for them to find for IV's and blood tests, the vicodin allergies) which are what made the whole thing so miserable.

Gah, had to stay home today because of the poops. Which doesn't make me happy, it seems a few of the promotions I've gotten really close to lately have hit a wall when they check on my attendance. I have to look into getting them covered by that one law about chronic diseases. Can't do it with the old ones because you only have a certain time frame, but I should start doing it now. There's a lot of stupid paperwork though and I'm not 100% sure it's covered, as one part of it stipulates you have to go to the doctor for your disease at least twice a year, and I usually only go once unless there's a new development.

To be honest, I wish I could just have pictures of my poop on file with my absences, I think anyone would understand that. Granted, I have some gnarly looking poos even when I'm mostly fine, but today it came out this olive-colored water. You can't really argue that someone doesn't need to stay home when they've had that come out their butt. Thankfully, this particular episode doesn't hurt that much, it's just mainly constantly having go to very urgently. It was happening yesterday and the day before, too, so hopefully it blows over soon.

Oh another thing, is usually even when I'm feeling bad, my stomach doesn't make that many noises, but today and yesterday it's been going nuts. It's loud enough to startle my rabbit away.

Yesterday I got to see my grandpa and his woman. The only bad part is they were only passing through town for a few hours so I didn't get to see them very long. But it was good. I also hung out with my sister's family after that. The 'Phew was in a good mood, so we had fun. 'Phew two, as always, was in a bad mood.

After that I went grocery shopping. The thing is, I really need food, but whenever I go to the grocery store lately nothing really sounds good. So I spent like an hour or more, and sixty bucks on junk (various sugary drinks) and treats for 007. I got like one actual food item, bread.

Also, I meant to blog about this earlier, but RJ was in town and we hung out a little while. I find it gratifying that even after all this time, he keeps in touch, though so many other people don't. I have to admit--I'm also kind of jealous of him. He's not getting rich or anything, but he's actually making a living in Chicago doing what I love, videography. Whenever I talk to him, he always tries to convince me to move to Chicago too, but I don't think I'd be successful as he is. For one, he has access to all sorts of expensive video equipment I don't (I think through his dad but I could be wrong) so he can do a lot of free lance work. For two, he doesn't NEED to have health insurance like I do, so can do a lot of free lance work. For three, he didn't move up there when the economy was in the toilet like it is now. For four, he's not a total wuss like I am.

Anyway, we did have fun. I met a couple more of his friends, including a lady who wears a cape when she rides her bike and made an awesome dramatic soundtrack for the conversation we had where he was trying to persuade me to go to Chi town. I also got along quite well with his other friend, who works in the used bookstore downtown. Oh, I'm sorry uptown. Which, by the way, is a pain in my ass. It was almost impossible to get to the coffee house (where we ate lunch) because of all the construction. I did, however, get to re-enact "crane wars" from UCB in my mind.

Crazy dream:

The main thing that tied it all together was bees. My dad decided to buy a bee hive and raise bees. He didn't really care about gathering honey or wax or anything, he was doing it to help save the bees that are dying out. I thought he was full of it, because I've heard even the people who own bees have been having them die out. He apparently got the idea from this neighbor of his who took like 8 hours to explain to me why there is a difference between owning bees for profit and owning bees to help them but the conservative media just wouldn't tell anyone. Plus, he had a fake leg that was way skinnier than his real leg that he took off mid-conversation.

So we went to the grocery store to buy bees. At this grocery store, not only do they sell bees, but they sell "bumpy water bunnies," which were rabbits that were water dwelling, kind of like otters or seals. And yes, they were bumpy. They were cute in a kind of bulldog way, so ugly they were cute.

Then, later in the dream it was Father's day. And for some reason my dad got me a gift. Which was...... bee cookies. Apparently, bee cookies are things humans make so that they can put them in the yard and watch bees come to eat them. I thought it would be like flowers you could plant for bees, but nope, they were cookies. Though they were more like wafers. The package again had an angry reference to the conservatives, who placed restrictions on the sort of packaging bee cookies can be sold in. Anyway I was mad and started eating the bee cookies myself. They weren't that great but kind of vaguely sweet and bland otherwise.

The only other thing about this dream, not really part of the main bee narrative, was that my dad's basement was crazy. Like there was a room entirely dedicated to the movie 300 (done by another neighbor), Friday the 13th (done by a guy who worked at Borders with me) and another one I had done but I don't remember what the movie was. Also, he had a bajillion animals in the basement. Rabbits (I guess I have them on the brain), dogs, etc. But then also weird things like giant rabbits, giant ferrets, messed up looking dogs. I dunno, not as awesome as bee cookies.

I've been BUSY. I of course had the wedding last weekend. It was (mostly) good times. And the day after was the wedding brunch. Then this week I've hung out with my dad, then hung out with Juthar, then helped my dad with a garage sale, then hung out with Josh. Plus, of course, having another mouth to feed and another butt to clean up after.

Anyway, speaking of 007, he and I have been a lot happier together since the last update. I realized he only bites me if I'm holding him or keeping him from going somewhere he wants. The latter, is of course, not completely unavoidable as he's not getting onto the carpet till he's potty trained. But it's somewhat avoidable, and I don't hold him anymore unless I need to carry him somewhere. So not much biting. And he's started liking me more and hanging around to be petted now that he knows I won't grab him unless necessary.

He's gotten the seal of approval from all who've met him, i.e. my dad, Julie, Lothar, and Josh. Juthar in particular loves him, because they love this "trick" I can make him do, which is to basically make him lick things by petting him in a certain way. I'm not sure why he does it, it's not a rabbit trait mentioned in any of the stuff I've read, but it is funny.

Notes on 007:

1) I like to stand on the other side of the pet gate when he's trying to get through and say, "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!" and cackle maniacally.

2) He likes to get back at me by moving the litter box and peeing where it would've been had he not moved it

3) I plan to take a picture of me with him when I'm all bridesmaided up and label it "Prom 2009"

4) I actually didn't end up doing it, but when I hadn't told my dad about 007 yet, I wanted to be like, "Well... I invited you over here to meet someone special. He moved in with me a few days ago, I found him on the internet about two months ago. I was afraid you wouldn't like him, he's a little weird.... he's vegetarian, way shorter than me, and really quiet." and then be like, "tada! rabbit!"

So I made myself this kind of ghetto pet gate out of couch cushions and whatever's laying around. It's not tall enough (or sturdy enough) to last forever, but let me tell you--it's an improvement from me laying there and manually keeping him off the carpet.

One--I can step away from the kitchen for a second if I need to do something. I was getting kind of tired of having to watch him constantly when I had him out and not being able to go to the bathroom or anything.

Two--I think he finds it maddening that he can't get to the carpet, and when I was the barrier he bit me. Now he's biting couch cushions, my suitcase, and my old computer. I don't want him to like chew on any of those things but biting's fine because it means it's not my tender flesh.

Three--now that I'm not stuck on the edge being border patrol I can actually get in there and hang out with him. I still don't think he loves me or anything but I actually sort of got him to play with me tonight, I ran around and he chased me. He seemed to lose interest somewhat easily, but it was fun for a little while.

So I spent the morning crying because my rabbit doesn't like me. The reason I got a pet was so that I wouldn't have to feel lonely all the time, and I could have someone to love me that won't gradually drift away or move away. I like dogs, but we can't have them in our building. Cats seem to be like russian roulette, they can be absolutely crazy at their worst, and at best seem kind of indifferent to people. And then I met someone's rabbit and it seemed like it liked people so I got one of my own. I guess I fucked up and didn't realize they can have very different personalities, just like cats.

So anyway 007 is not afraid of me at all, he'll walk right up to me (usually when I'm laying in between him and the carpet and he wants to get to the carpet). But if I try to pet him he goes away. He doesn't like being held, and has now started biting me. It doesn't really hurt that much, he doesn't have sharp teeth like a cat or dog, but it hurts my feelings. I've tried to make him stop, using methods the lady who gave him to me said, and from house rabbit society, but it hasn't made him stop.

I'm not going to get rid of him or anything, I abhor people who abandon pets. And it's not his fault I had unrealistic expectations of him. But it does kind of suck that I have invested and will continue to invest so much time and money taking care of him just to have him dislike me.

This is what the lady I bought him from said, but I don't think she's right, he's clearly not scared of me or anything (Squiggy is what they call 007 over there):

No, you are not bothering me... That's what we are here for!

Remember, he is a rabbit not a dog and while rabbits can have a very social personality and enjoy being petted (like a dog/cat), not all will. Try talking to him softly...open his door and reach in slowly, scratch (or try too) his head just behind his ears. He could be stressed from moving to a new home, but, we might not ever know. It's hard to "read" a rabbits mind!! I have tried but failed! LOL

It may just take time... I mean several months not weeks to get him to trust you. They are prey animals and sometimes find it hard to trust new people right away. There are others like his dad, Squirt, that love EVERYONE!! But again, he is a rarity in the rabbit world :)

So, I made a catastrophic mistake last night, in that I accidently let 007 get to the carpeted area of my house. He didn't whiz (wiz?), thank god, but now he's absolutely obsessed with getting over there. I think I'm going to have to get a pet gate or something. I feel like I am Goldfinger or something, trying to thwart his mission. But I don't have lots of gold or cool lasers. I'm probably just the wimpy accountant guy from the second to last movie who cries blood.

Bond..... James Bond



More to come!

I don't really feel like recounting my entire trip to AZ.... maybe in bits and pieces but one long thing just seems tiring. Maybe I'll be novel and actually just tell people when I hang out with them and ask. But, in summary: good times. Two especially nice things were 1) getting to know Brooke, Ryan's wife. I'd met her before and liked her, but never really talked in depth. I'm glad to know she enjoys my poo stories. Even to the point of requesting I tell them again to other people she knows.

2) Mike, who is Ryan's friend, and I've technically known even longer than Ryan, used to be an OK guy but has turned into a dick the last few years. Somehow, he's magically turned into a good guy! I hear the two reasons are 1) moving out of his friend's garage into a nicer place and 2) the biggest reason seems to be his new girlfriend. If this is true, this woman is a saint and I request that she immediately marry him. I mean, I did meet her, and she seems nice, but she must have some sort of "guy whisperer" skill.

Someday I'll have some pictures up and all that.

The other new thing is obv. the rabbit. I think he is going to be 007. He likes to run around the kitchen like mad, and then like freeze when he hears a noise that startles him. It's pretty funny. It does make him seem like he's performing an elaborate secret mission he doesn't want me to know about. Well, other than the mission I do know about, wanting to get onto the carpet to soil it and chewing all the most inappropriate objects (Screaming INAPPROPRIATE! at him in a British accent doesn't seem to stop it).

He is adorable despite being smelly (he himself isn't smelly but is basically a cute hoppy waste machine). I've sort of given up potty training for now... the site I was going by says you watch them like a hawk and make them go to the litter box when they're about to pee or poop, but I've stared at that rabbit's butt for hours at a time and still can't tell if he's pooping or not. I've literally said, "are you pooping?" to him enough times that he probably thinks it's his name. I figure I'll start again later when I'm more likely to have developed rabbit pooping senses and/or when he's older, cause I read young ones are a little harder to train.

I don't know what's in his pea brain re: chewing things though. I mean I know he has to chew things and that he's hardwired to do it. But I got him a bunch of toys and chew blocks and stuff, he's not that excited about it. But if it is plastic and could hurt him, he's all over that. Plus he seems to like chewing on my kitchen table and chairs. Which doesn't peeve me that much because I didn't want them in the first place and they were free, but I don't want him to make a habit of chewing on my furniture, and I definitely don't want him to target my cabinets next.

I got my rabbit today! He seems a little frightened of my picking him up, and I have a lot of work to do with regards to potty training, but all in all, a positive experience. And if you think MY poop stories are gross, try a rabbit poop story on for size:

Rabbits produce two kinds of poop. One kind are called cecotropes, which the rabbits must eat again because they have a bacteria that rabbits need. This is according to my poop of the day calendar, which says this happens in the middle of the night so humans rarely witness it.

So I saw my rabbit licking himself this afternoon, and I think he's trying to clean some glands down there or his genitals, but then he takes his mouth away and starts chewing. Yes, he eats the poop directly from his own butt.

Talk about a pet with similar interests to mine! I mean... ewww, gross!

I'm home safe and sound, yay! More details soon!

Hey, losers! I'll be in AZ until the 20th.... hope ya miss me!

I probably won't be coming back.... Ryan and Brooke are taking me to a cabin in the woods. Ryan is the guy who carries around a signed note from me in his wallet that says he can do whatever he wants with my corpse when I'm dead.

Oh well, at least I'll be buried surrounded by the things I love - dead babies and burnt hookers!

So my car's radiator cracked on Saturday. My dad was surprised, he thought a radiator pretty much lasted forever. The repair guy pointed out that we did get 15 years out of this one.

My dad said he didn't know how much it would cost to repair it, and my car is pretty old, so I might have to get rid of it. Happily, though, the repair cost about $300 and my car's still worth about $3,000, so I get to keep the old girl. I'm really glad, I'm freakishly attached to my car.

The funny bit is I was telling Josh how great Toyotas are and how my car is so awesome and it's lasted forever with only minor repairs.... right when it started smoking and I had to pull over somewhere. Then we had to walk home. Good news is... we were really close to home. Esp. since we were returning from Meijer where he had bought some frozen food items.

Aside from the unscheduled car difficulties, we had a good time. We played Skee ball and air hockey at Wehrenberg and ate fruit salad (I liked the fruit salad Deanna made for Julie's bachelorette party so much that I tried making my own and it was a success) and chicken strips and went to BBB where I bought a pet carrier and to Borders where I got a hand crafted soda.

Today I took my dad out to lunch to sort of thank him for letting me borrow his car while mine was busted and paying for the repair. I should actually do that more often.... he ALWAYS pays when we go out.

I think tomorrow we're going to see the new Star Trek. Woo!

In which I whine about minor things

I am sore.... Somewhat from the hike, a lot from the badminton. I had no idea badminton was so intense. It never hurt in PE back in the day. I'm finally an old lady.

Both were worth it though.

What was not worth it, however, was pinching the hell out of my finger on a toastmasters collapsible podium tonight. That was mainly stupidity on my part, I had a more minor pinching on another finger not that long before, you'd think it would teach me to be more careful.

That is all.

Today: pretty awesome. We had a work meeting and they let us take it to a park. The weather was beautiful, we got to eat good food, have fun playing badminton, and get paid for all of it. I especially liked the badminton, I haven't played it in years! I'm bad at it, but everyone else was too, and we all had a good time. It's amazing how fast you can bond with people you normally don't think you have much in common with once you get playing a sport or game or something. Pretty sweet.

So yes, yesterday was hiking and it was fun!

So we kidnapped Julie, and I decided to feed her crazy misinformation. This included everything from hamster strippers to killing her and putting her in a shallow grave so that I could dig her back up whenever I wanted to have sex with her.

We passed a cop at one point, and we were like, "Man.... it's a good thing Julie knows we're joking about all this."

We (briefly) got semi-lost in a small town named Tonica. They were having a town-wide garage sale and we told Julie that all we had planned was the garage sale (she sort of knew we were lost though and didn't mean it). But like I said, we found our way back quickly.

The weather, though we had worried it would be bad, was absolutely beautiful. We grilled, which went off without a hitch. There was lots of tasty food! Julie and I (the ones with the picky digestive systems) were kind of worried that it would give us the poops (for me in particular eating + walking is an almost guaranteed poop... when I was thinking of this principle I got a terrible flashback to an IKEA trip that was marred by constant searches to get back to the toilet). But it agreed with both of us. We also gave her crazy joke gifts, and good real gifts.

Then we of course hiked. I have more photos of waterfalls than you can shake a stick at now, and it's pretty sweet.

Like I said: a really good day.

I had a good day.

I'm excited, I'm going hiking tomorrow! In the words of State Farm:

"I had too much lemonade at the picnic" meets "I've always wanted to pee over the edge of a canyon....." Yeah, I'm there!

Outdoor fuckin' starts today.

I had a dream last night that Lothar, Corey from work, and I were on a hockey team. In a league exclusively for circus employees. I am not kidding... The sad thing is, it was actually a somewhat boring dream.

Almost late for work today... fucked up my alarm.

Had lady troubles.

Got my first voice insult at work in a long time, some asshole woman thought I had hung up (we generally just hit mute and let the caller hang up unless they forget to hang up for a long time) and was like, "God that woman's voice is annoying," and proceeded to do an extremely unflattering imitation of me. I tried to come back on the line and be like, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" which has shamed people in the past, but I think she'd set down the phone and couldn't even hear me.

Jesus christ, people. You are jerks. Except for the people who read the blog, you're my loved ones. So probably no jerks read this so I don't know. People need to stop being assholes to strangers though. For real.

So all in all, not my finest hour.

So today at work Sally made some cat ears to put on her headphones (the ones we have to wear to take calls). It was awesome and I got her to make some to put on mine too. I kept singing, "Cat, I'm a kitty cat! And I dance dance dance, and I dance dance dance." I wanted to say my favorite line, "I say sexy things to myself while I'm daaaaaaaancin," but I was afraid I'd get the looks I got a few days ago when I was shaking my desk to put ripples in my mug of tea and told everyone I was trying to recreate a scene from Jurassic Park. Good times.

The day didn't start out so awesome, though. Woken up at 8 with a call about a pending auto claim. In Phoemeister time, that's like 6. Basically if I didn't call them back (yeah, I didn't answer) by the end of the day they'd just go ahead and pay the other dude. Which is what I wanted them to do so I don't know why they had to call me about it. Esp. since my Dad's the one with his name on the insurance, not me. But I guess I could've disputed that the accident hadn't happened or something. Not sure how, since I struck the dude's parked car on multiple occasions, so I'm 90% sure I DID make the tiny scratch that somehow took $350 bucks to fix ($8 worth of materials, the rest is padding put in by the repair shop, I'm not exaggerating, I saw the estimate). What I really wish is that I could've given the dude $50 to do it himself, but he insisted on going through insurance and I'm not sure if all repair shops are just insanely expensive no matter what or if he picked the most expensive shop he could find just to spite me.

Then, even though I couldn't fall back asleep, I laid down for awhile.... and got a huge headache from the motherfucking loudest mower on earth... I mean, I live on a street full of apartment/condo complexes, and they all have some loud-ass huge industrial mower to mow their one little strip of lawn, but this guy seemed louder than usual and seemed to take forever.

Then... uh, I looked and I actually blogged the other stuff about my day already. True story.

Had the bridal shower a couple days ago, still have to upload picture. I also got video of Julie opening her gift from me, and she looks sufficiently pleased! Did some preps for the bachelorette par-tay, which should even more sufficiently please her. We also played some battlestar galactica at Lothar's house. I have to say: not as turned on by it as most of them. Maybe if you are a bad dude it's fun, but as a good guy most of your time is spent donating cards to make "checks." IE everyone tosses cards into a pot so that something bad doesn't happen. Then... when the bad things come out everyone dies anyway because things are ludicrously unbalanced.

But, I like making my character make out with other characters and judging the relative hotness of whatever character I'm playing.

Not been doing much else.... really mean to clean but am not (SHOCKING, hearing this from ME!). I guess today is good, Josh emailed me finally after I accidently pissed him off last week. And I talked to Tina for awhile, until my battery died (despite being hooked to the charger while I was talking). She's also started twittering, and through her I found links to Brent Spiner & Nathan Fillion's twitters. I already liked them, but I find Nathan Filion even more awesome now that he makes fart jokes on the internet. Spiner is odd but funny, so pretty much how you would expect, too.

Bleh, kind of in a mood tonight. Sort of irritated at some people in toastmasters (not a big deal it'll blow over). I also had a migraine bad enough that I was kind of dizzy and feverish (usually the only symptom I have is the pain).



There were really bad vibes going around at work yesterday.... none of us sniped at each other, but all the people I sit with were mad about one thing or another. Sally was mad at her son, Connie was more than usually angry/upset about customers, and Todd is still butthurt about being kicked off this one committee for no reason awhile ago. I myself was sort of irritated about a continuing project at work that I'm not going into again. Dunno if it's the shitty weather or what.

One nice thing about work is we got to decorate these cardboard eggs for easter. It's lame when you think about it, and a waste of the company's time (they've already let us know they're not going to hire enough people for hurricane season so you'd think they'd be more responsible with money) but I do really enjoy these little seasonal art projects. Ours probably won't be voted "the best" but I think it is anyway. There were a few you could tell people put more money into, but ours looked the most professional, coordinated, and not thrown together as a whim.

We were orig. told it was supposed to resemble our supervisor (though most ended up not looking like a supervisor). I wanted to draw her really ugly and posing sort of as a witch and saying something like, "I'm mean!" in a speech bubble as a joke (I do like her and don't think she's mean at all and she knows it). But I didn't really say this idea because I know if we did it other management might not've taken it too kindly. My other idea was to make something completely BIZARRE like making the egg as the torso of a unicorn with her face stuck on it. But there were other people involved and they didn't want to be weird, which I completely understand. The nice thing, however, was it is still a little weird.... we made the egg into a guy wearing one of our call center headsets, wearing a bunny ears headband, wearing a pink/pastel argyle sweater, with a frenchman's mustache and a bad toupee. I love it.

This weekend I hung with Josh and had a great time. He hates the picture I have of him posted on this blog as eating a carcassonne tile but did not say I had to take it down. I think it looks adorable. And of course we played more Carcassonne... I got one city worth 160+ points. I also got a video of him (well, audio of him, he refused to actually be in the frame) discussing what he hates about various X men characters and goofily singing the X-men (Extra Men according to him) cartoon theme song. But I won't post it, because he hates his voice. I always am amazed when other people (a lot of other people) tell me they hate their voice (I get that it sounds different than when you hear it in your head but still) because they have to know they're saying it to someone who has a way more annoying voice. Seriously: even if you don't personally hate my voice, I have a TON of customers who've told me how much they hate my voice and none of my other coworkers do. So be grateful, motherfuckers!

We played some other games and ate some nice food, too. And we talked a lot which I (obviously) like.

Last Weds my dad and I had stuff done to my car, this regular care is why the Camry holds up so well, I think. That and it has a pretty low mileage for how old it is and Toyota seem to be built well. But car care is important. You put so much money into something like that, spending a few extra bucks is definitely worth it to make it last. Though, I don't know that we had to pay or anything per visit, I think my dad has some walmart tire care package that he bought some time ago that this goes on. I guess it is a pretty sweet package though, I basically got a new tire for free when those jackasses downstairs slashed mine. We hung out and played cribbage, and he wiped the floor with me.

Also last week, not sure when, I finally got some silverware! I needed it badly, I guess I've been accidently throwing away some of it over time or something. And the best part is, I got it for free because I returned this appliance that I didn't want. My dad gave it to me because my mom got it shortly before she got sick and he knows I cook more than him. He's kind of obsessed with getting rid of a lot of her things without letting them be thrown away or go to waste. So I was kind of happy I was able to get rid of it finally but still "get use" out of it way more than I would've even had I kept it.

Last Saturday, I forgot to mention, we did Easter things. It was pretty good, in some ways: the Phew was behaved (for once), the Phew actually enjoyed an activity I put work into preparing for him (for once), decent waffle at IHOP, etc. IHOP did sort of suck though, Phew 2 cried the whole time. I don't know why they take him to restaurants because he obviously hates them. Also I resent things that require me to get up early, and my sister full well knows this but yet still arranged it so I'd have to get up early. But all in all I'd count it as a win, I liked helping the Phew color eggs and running around playing with bubbles with him.

I can't remember what all else I've done since I posted last.... I don't know why I've had blogging dryspells then long recap floods lately.