So, I started a website!  buddycopcomics.com  To be honest, I'm not covering any new ground immediately, I'm posting a couple of my old ones first, but I swear there will be new content in the by-and-by.  I just sort of want to cement myself to the theme a little bit, and don't actually currently have any good ideas for anything related to buddy cops.  But I made it the theme because of my existing comics, the buddy cop ones are my only ones that really have a "category."  Other than "shittily drawn," which I think would be a bad domain name.

I have a feeling it won't make profit, not even break even on the $7 a month I am spending for the website, but you have to start somewhere, and $7 isn't a ton to lose.  I'm paying rather than doing blogspot because I've heard for search engines, and people re-finding your site, it is way better to have your own domain.

Still, please please please visit!  Regularly!

Guest post:

by Deckard Cain of the Diablo games.

May 10th, 2012:

Dear Diary,
Why doesn't anyone else love The Cure as much as I do?  Their lyrics make me cry every time.  And they make me a better man.

May 15th, 2012:

Dear Diary,
Why does my niece Leah always get me ties for my birthday?  Enough with the ties!  How many ties does she think I wear?  Does she just think old people need lots of ties?  I don't even wear ties, I would much more prefer a really cool walking stick or cloak.

May 20th, 2012:

Dear Diary,
I was watching It's a Wonderful Life last night.  The scene at the bank always makes me cry!  Also:  I think I can do a really good Jimmy Stewart impression.

---------------

PS these are only funny if you read them outloud in a creaky old man voice.

You know, I don't think I ever mentioned it on here, but I am now in possession of a step-mom.  My real mom died several years ago and Dad remarried recently.  The funny thing is despite all the stories of people disliking their step-parents is that I love it.  I mean, if I could have my real mom back I would want that but since I can't, I really like my step-mom.

I don't know if she's just that an awesome of a person or if I just miss my mom so much that I'm willing to attach myself to any surrogate, but I think I actually love her.  Not just like her, like I previously thought, but love her.  At the wedding she was all teary eyed and said she loved me and my sister, and I sent her a mother's day e-card and her response was very touching.  I always liked her, because she is really nice all the time, but I am actually feeling a bond, which I hadn't anticipated.  I thought it would be like hanging out with my in-laws.... they're nice people, and I like them, but I probably wouldn't hang out with them sans my husband.  Whereas if my step mom wanted to hang out without my Dad, I'd be like, "let's do it!"

Anyway it's a good feeling to have a sort-of mom, or a person similar to that in your life after you've had none.  I still have that hole in me that no one can fill, but it's not as painful around the edges anymore.

Oh:  also the wedding was pretty decent.  They picked really good food at the reception!  And my step-mom told us what color she wanted us to wear but we basically got to pick out everything on our own, which was nice.  It was a Catholic wedding, but she must've gotten the priest to shorten it because it was of manageable length.  Her daughters sang (they are really ridiculously good, they sound professional) and my sister did a reading.  It was nice meeting her children & grandchildren, they were all really nice too.  One of them even baked my Dad a pie in addition to the wedding cake, because she knew he likes that better than cake.

At first I was sort of dismayed because I didn't get to help, but they asked me to help with music for the reception (I did that for my own wedding, and my dad knows I love doing that sort of thing).  They were really happy with it and still listen to it in the car all the time!  I also got to give a toast at the reception, I think I liked doing that better than a reading anyhow, because I got to say what I want, not just repeat someone else's words.  Everyone said I did a good job!

I feel kind of depressed right now. I told a few people what I was trying to do (alternatives to getting a job) and it just seems overwhelming and maybe even impossible to do it. I think maybe I can make a couple of bucks, but overall not much. Probably not even enough to pay for the ridiculous purchase I just made--$700 bucks for some books on creating online business. To be fair, the bundle also contained some books on traveling very cheaply, but meh.

The #1 "tip" in this book.... that I actually got for free on another site: you can make money selling information products. Basically, things like the book I just bought. But I don't have any expertise! I don't have anything anyone wants to know. If I had that sort of information I wouldn't have bought your stupid book.

 More than one person told me how bad going into the restaurant biz is. So... good to get that advice, before losing more money than I have, but... discouraging.

 Trying to see if I can sell stuff like crafts or whatever but I'm getting some negative feedback on that too.

 I wish I could get my $700 back :/ But since they're electronic books I doubt there is a refund.

Dunno if I shared it with Facebook yet but I got fired awhile ago. On friday the 13th, actually, go figure. I don't blame my employer or anything, but I promise I'm not a terrible person. Also: the problem that got me fired (colitis) actually started getting better right before I got canned, and I've been doing great. My many absences just happened to catch up with me right then. Anyway, I was wondering if people had any ideas? I thought maybe I could start a business.... I have the capital, I think. It's just scary to risk it, especially since I don't know anything about running my own business. --Was thinking about a restaurant or cafe or something, because they're one of the few small businesses common anymore. --Was thinking about doing something on the internet? Not sure I'd make very much money. But it's pretty low-risk to sell crafts on etsy or something. --Something with video? Maybe doing wedding videos for people or something? I don't have any of the equiptment (and for anyone who doesn't know, that stuff is more expensive than you would think) but that is one of the few things I have a little know-how for. --Sometimes I think of crazy things like becoming a writer or stand up comedian, but I want something, you know, actually possible. I haven't seriously been looking yet anyway, because I needed knee surgery. But as the knee heals up, I have been thinking more and more. Here are the things I am good at and/or enjoy: --baking --Origami --drawing/making abstract things: http://phoemeister.deviantart.com/ --degree in communication, focus: video production. Minor: Film studies --knowledge of indie music --knowledge of indie/classic film --knowledge of pulp fantasy novels --I make excellent mom & poo jokes. This is probably not useful in any way, but you know, leave no stone unturned and all that. --I loathe to use it, but patience & finesse. Working in a call center has given me a fine-tuned ability to deal with people. I can fucking deal with anyone, no matter how angry, stupid, difficult and/or annoying they are being. --I can type at least 70 wpm, am familiar with MS Office and am pretty good with most computer applications. --Intelligence. I know this sounds douchey but I've realized that I am more intelligent than most people. I learn quickly and get bored just as quickly if the job doesn't need much of that intelligence. --creativity --knowlege of obscure card/board games Cons: --Colitis --it has to be in this area, Jeremy loves B/N & his current job, and I love him. Failing that, I would like to find a job that is rewarding. I'm not above conceited, I don't think I'm "above" doing anything, but I'm tired of shitty jobs. I want something that at least uses a good sized fraction of my intelligence or creativity. A job where I get some fucking respect. Not sure if that's available, esp. given my shitty employment history, but a girl can dream. Failing that uh.... I guess I could go back to school? I just don't know what I'd study that would help my employment chances. Failing that I'll probalby just try to get a job at a store or restaurant that I like to go to, and figure hey at least I'll probably get a discount and can walk around instead of sitting in a chair all day. I prefer retail to waiting tables, as I am pretty klutzy, but I've heard you can make better money off of tips if you work someplace like that. I do have good memories of my time at retail.... I used to hate it because the lady who ran the store was the antichrist, but hopefully I would not run into that elsewhere. But on the plus side, I had so many friends at Borders. Like I've made a few decent friends at my jobs since then, but at Borders I was friends with nearly everyone and hang out with a lot of them outside of work ALL the time. I'm reluctant to give up my weekends again after having worked a standard shift, but you can't be too picky. Any tips or ideas, anyone?

Guess what? I suck!

So I guess this is me officially telling the world I got fired. It was Friday the 13th, a month and a day from my 5th anniversary there, how poetic. Anyway, I was keeping it quiet for a little while because my dad was getting married this last weekend and I didn't want to ruin it for him. Then... I don't know, I guess most people don't feel like putting out a big announcement about that sort of thing. Also I've been pretty doped up on pain medication and not necessarily making much sense.... I got my ACL reconstruction surgery on Tuesday. I moved it up so I could use my current insurance from my former employer, though it seems I will be able to get covered under my husband's insurance fairly easily. So uh.... 1) I do not blame them. I missed a lot of work. A LOT of work. More than I had to, probably. Honestly, I've not said as much as I wanted because I didn't want to be a whiner, but I hate the job. It was super boring. The only things I liked about it were that a) it was not my previous job and b) I got to listen to my music on headphones the whole time. But even I do not have enough music to make that job not super boring. So... there were days when I was legitimately sick that I stayed out.... when I probably was still OK enough to work, but I just couldn't make myself go in. 2) I am fine on money. Jeremy & I are savers, and my parents have been generous to me over the years. 3) I am not quite yet looking for a new job, I wanted to get the knee crap taken care of first. 4) My knee seems to be doing fine, so far as I can tell.

Easter was a success! Everyone was like, "YEAAAH!!"

The kids esp. liked the egg coloring kit, it's kind of like spin art. And they were pretty excited about the Playstation Move. At least someone's getting use out of it since I busted my knee.

So, today I'm gearing up for Easter. I wouldn't say it's my favorite holiday, or even one that used to matter to me very much a few years ago. BUT since it's not one of the biggies, I've sort of been able to commandeer it and make it my own. Oh, and of course: I HAVE A RABBIT WANDERING AROUND MY HOUSE. Even though he is persnickety in some of his interactions with the 'phews, he is still one of the biggest symbols of Easter. Probably second only to Jesus. And not only is Jesus not at someone else's house to compete with the rabbit, but my family's not very religious anyway.

A few years ago I made hot dogs with cheese & crescent rolls around them. Then I talked to other people who hosted Easter at their house who had made fancy stuff like a big ham or something. So I felt I had to step it up, and I made some pork chops & rice. Still not a huge effort (the crock pot does most of the work on that one) but not like serving hot dogs to people on a major holiday.

This year, I was like.... perplexed. My sister's turned vegetarian. Which: I laud, I wish I had the gumption for that. It's healthier and I feel like a douche for what humans do to animals. But: I'm like, what do I cook? I personally am shitty at eating vegetables so nearly anything I can make (other than a bean burrito) is going to be meaty. Then Jeremy volunteered to make something vegetarian, stir-fry. So that was cool. But then I'm like, well.... what should I make for the rest of us?

Because, as mentioned before: I am shitty at eating vegetables. So... I'm not going to eat the vegetarian dish. Thought of doing the pork chops.... there's Dad & his fiancee, me, and the 'phews, after all. But then... well, I would consider myself a "classic picky eater." I don't eat vegetables and it takes coaxing before I will eat anything "weird" like a lot of ethnic foods or uncommon meats. But the 'phews..... I have no idea how to categorize their pickiness. I think they will eat some vegetables, like canned corn or whatever. And they eat all the "kid" things, like chicken nuggets, hot dogs, spaghetti-o's, etc. But I honestly have no idea what else they will eat. They won't eat the pork chops, I've seen them turn down burgers, I know they're not eating that stir-fry Jeremy is making....

And I'm like.... three different meals? Even if Jeremy is cooking one, and another one is just cracking open some spaghetti-o's, this seems like madness. So.... I'm back to hot dogs and crescent rolls. Which is tasty. So.... don't judge me, you ham-makers out there!

We're also going to color eggs. I believe my sister still goes and celebrates Easter with at least one of her in-law families, but I don't think any one else colors eggs. (TM) ME, motherfuckas! It's because no one in her family or any of the in-law families likes hard boiled eggs. Which, I don't blame them.. I'm not a fan either. BUT, my dad will eat them, so we color them and then give them to him. Since I suck at boiling eggs, his fiancee does it. So basically all I have to do is buy the coloring kit. WIN.

We're also going to hide and search for eggs.... last year was the first time for that, but it seems to go over well. I hide money in them, because I have heard before that they have an overabundance of candy at their house. Last year it was a bunch of dimes, this year I'm hiding slightly fewer eggs and stepping it up to actual dollars.

I'm also thinking of busting out the Playstation Move!

Also, since I am not classy enough to make a ham, I'm ordering cupcakes from Audrey. To be honest it's about 1/2 because her cupcakes look super good, and about 1/2 because I don't want to put work into doing it myself and have them not eat it... they're weirdly picky about desserts, too, which is nothing I've ever seen before with kids!

Good times.

So.... once again I feel like kind of a prick. Jeremy went to see his fam for xmas and I didn't go with him. Everyone, I mean eeeveryone is like, "You didn't go with him?"

Some people feel sorry for me, because they assume no one in their right mind would choose not to go, so Jeremy must've said I couldn't go, or my in-laws suck and I hate them or something. And nothing could be farther from the truth--I have awesome in-laws. I can't really think of anyone who could be awesomer--his mom really tries hard to make me like her, and it totally works. His Dad is laid back and pleasant. His brother is funny and fun to be around. His extended family seems nice.

But, as I mentioned in my Thanksgiving post--I hate traveling. You go from School where you get a big long holiday break. To a job, where you're lucky if you get a day off. Then...you marry someone, and you have to cram in both your families and never get a moment's rest to actually enjoy yourself or the holidays. My sister (thanks to having married someone whose parents divorced and re-married, and wanting to have her own christmas with the kids) literally has 4 Christmases. And while when I was a little kid that would've sounded awesome... it just sounds like more work to me now. When a big part of my adult enjoyment of holidays is getting a day off work and being able to relax...

I just feel hectic all the time lately, cramming in so much into my life. I have always had a hard time making friends. And I didn't have any boyfriends until a few years ago. So... I have spent a lot of time alone in my life. And I sometimes miss it... Not the whole thing, I wouldn't trade my family, husband, or friends in for anything, but just some breathing room here and there, sitting around doing absolutely nothing... fiddling around on the computer, reading a book, listening to music, no where I have to be no one I have to talk to... I just get stressed out if I can't do it once in a blue moon. Oh, and I get the best sleep when he's gone (which makes me even more dickish to mention, but it's true). My body is still unfortunately not able to ignore his movements in the night, so I have trouble with waking up a bunch.

I miss Jeremy and my buddies again pretty quickly, though. And I have been able to hang out with my Dad some the last couple of days. We've both been so busy lately that I feel I forget to hang out with him as much as I would like or should.

Oh, but anyway I feel bad for my mother in law. She has sent us a card saying she is sorry I couldn't come and now a few text messages. I think she might be worried I don't like them or something, Jeremy's ex didn't (I don't understand why, like I said I couldn't ask for better ones). Or want to show me to the extended family--they are all pretty close and live in town except for Jeremy & I. Or even just feel bad that I'm alone because a lot of people think I'm weird to even want that in the first place. And I wonder if people think I'm a dick for disappointing her or deserting Jeremy. He says he doesn't mind, though. We usually have our Christmas beforehand.

God I love OK Go videos...

So, Jeremy loves Christmas music. And I hate 90% of Christmas music. Why?

1) It is repetitive as hell. Most artists can't add anything to Deck the Halls that the 50,000 other musicians who've already done it haven't. Ditto all the other popular carols.

2) I have worked retail. Which means Christmas music constantly piped in to my work environment, repeating it's repetitive stuff, for months on end.

3) I lived with my mom for like, 25 years. Which means Christmas music constantly piped into my living environment, repeating it's repetitive stuff for... about a month every year. Dad made a rule that she couldn't start on it before Thanksgiving.

The music I do like is mostly original songs (like Tom Petty's Christmas All Over Again), less popular/played ones (like I Saw Three Ships) or ones where I do like whatever twist they do on it enough to overlook the fact that I've heard this song 7 million times before (like Barenaked Ladies & Sarah McLachlan's God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman).

So... I made a CD of Amy-Approved Christmas songs for Jeremy to play when I'm in the car so that he can hear Christmas music without me going insane when we're in the car together. It is a variation on "Mannheim Steamroller Can Suck It!" a Christmas mix I made for friends at Borders some years ago.

Anyway.... Jeremy thought "Fuckin' Up My Christmas," by MC Chris was a "very angry song," sung by a woman.

Me: that song's about all the ladies he wants to do
Him: Well I thought it might've been a lesbian
Me: he talks about his wiener a lot for a girl
Him: So do you
Me: touche.......

So... I pretty much feel like a total selfish dick most of the time. A lot of times I go ahead and do the non dickish thing, but I always really want to do the dickish thing.

This time? I really didn't want to go to the new husband's house for Thanksgiving. I guess a lot of people will alternate which place they go to every year if one or more of the families lives out of town. But... I guess I'm weird, I'd rather just stay in town every year and see my family, and have Jeremy go out of town to see his family every year. I have absolutely nothing against them, either, they are nice people. People seem to think it's weird to want to just hang out with your own family every year, Jeremy's mom was especially put out when she thought I was going to do that. I'm not sure why--she would get to see her son twice instead of me once and him once. And I do visit their house on non holiday occasions, and hung out with them in town the one time Jeremy guilted them into visiting us instead of vice versa. I don't feel that bad not seeing Jeremy on the actual holiday, as we can hang out beforehand, afterwards, and basically all the time, because that is the way we are.

So here's why I just didn't want to:

--I hate the 2 hour drive
--I hate sleeping in a strange bed
--The room they put us in has no door, and they get up and start making noise around 5 or 6 a.m. Often times they get annoyed with us if we try to stay in too long anyway, I guess they don't understand non-morning people.
--I hate talking to strangers. And there were going to be a bunch of cousins and aunts & uncles and stuff there I didn't know. And time with friends of Jeremy, who I know a little bit better, but not that much.
--I like my alone time.... I love Jeremy but we spend ALL our time together. Once in awhile I like to be alone.
--I just wanted to relax and do that much... that 4 day break for Thanksgiving? About the longest break I've gotten since I don't go to school anymore. You have vacation days, of course, but most of them are filled with activities and traveling, which is a lot of work.

But... my dad's shoulder was hurt, so he didn't want to cook thanksgiving turkey like he usually does. So we were going to add in his girlfriend and my sister--who both have other things actually going on actual thanksgiving. Due to the delayed thanksgiving, I went to actual thanksgiving at Jeremy's parents. Anyway, it actually turned out pretty well, and wasn't annoying as I thought it would be. So I guess it's going to be an every year thing now, because my family liked being able to get together too (previously, my sis had troubles, as her husband's two families also do it on the day and 3 were too many for her, and I know dad's girlfriend likes being involved).

Get ready for an epic-length blog post. I got married, then had my honeymoon. So that's a lot.

Wedding: Superb. Everything went pretty much according to plan. We got off to a slightly slow start because I forgot my fancy underpants that go under the dress to make it look nice. When that's the worst thing that happens... you've done pretty well.

Anyway, first off: Julie showed up the weekend before and attended my rawesome bachelorette party. She brought an awesome mix-cd with a fantastic hand drawn polar bear winking, that said "Bearrorism" (in joke). The party was planned and facilitated by my friends Wendy, Diana, and Jenny. Wendy & Diana made postcard invitations with Cthulu on them (in joke). They are beautiful, I love having such arty friends. Esp. since they actually made a Cthulu pinata too! Jenny made tons of delicious food! We went to Curtis Orchard and we picked apples, my sister was there for that part too. And we stopped at Lake of the Woods and fed the Koi there. Then after Lori (sister) left, we ate a bunch and busted up the pinata that had candy and tastiness.

Then, the weekend of: Lothar, Pat & D, and Ryan & Brooke showed up. We had good times, and a tasty rehearsal dinner at Mandarin garden. It felt like we were at the "kid's table" because it was mostly us and our friends at one table, and then our actual family at another table. At the rehearsal, the 'Phew almost ran off after an ice cream truck, but did a serviceable ring bearer job. There were a ton of buckeyes around the field, and I was afraid of tripping on them, but Lothar decided to be our official Buckeye Commando and rid the field of them beforehand.

Then, the day of: wonderful! We got our hair & makeup done. The 'Phew wanted to get his hair done too, so he got a mohawk! It was so cute--I wasn't sure if Jeremy would like it, but he loved it too. They did a really good job on my hair and makeup, and my makeup, they actually sort of spray painted on my face, so it was nice and light and didn't feel all annoying like makeup usually does. The 'Phew was really excited about his mohawk and kept singing about it.

We got me into the dress, my photographer was super good, really fast, and incredibly nice. He even cleaned D's camera lens for her. We really liked him and made sure to give him good reviews, and Jenny is considering him for her wedding.

The weather was beautiful, so we could have the wedding outside by the bell tower like we planned. Pat put the fear of God into the 'Phew and he was really good at ringbearing after that, he didn't drop or tip the pillow and was as still as a statue during the ceremony. Pat's speech was awesome, and everything was very wonderful. Jeremy seemed nervous, but he told me afterwards he wasn't very nervous. He was very handsome in his tuxedo and I am glad I have lots of pictures of him in it!

The reception was inside Broadview, which is such a pictoresque place (both inside and out). It was slightly crowded, and one group of people had to eat outside, but otherwise everything went smoothly. It was really fun to see everyone and talk to people, and dance to the music I picked out myself. The caterer did a really great job with the food and cake, and our ushers set everything up wonderfully. Our flowers were beautiful too. Our best man gave a really thoughtful little toast that I really enjoyed. I guess since Jeremy and I planned it I am biased, but I thought it was the best wedding I've ever been to! And, of course, I was really happy anyway to be marrying my Jeremy! We were kind of sad when it was over, but we still had the honeymoon to go!

Honeymoon:

The first day in Rome Jeremy and I were super tired & jet-lagged from traveling all day the previous day, basically. We checked into our bed & breakfast in Rome, Hotel Golden. This was our absolute favorite hotel. As a B & B, it had a lot more character than a regular hotel, without being more expensive. They also had a really good breakfast every day. But most of all, the family that ran it was really nice and friendly. Before we even checked in, one of them had told us how to watch English movies on the hotel TV, find a place to buy metro tickets, find all the nearby metro stops, get to a nearby park, and how to get to all the good restaurants in the area. Anyway, that day, we slept for a few hours, went to the park, and then went back to bed. The park was really nice, it was enormous and had a lot of intriguing statuary, a fountain, a big clock, etc., a lot of old tall trees for shade, and little ice cream stands. I had my first gelato (italian ice cream, it's a little different than American) there. We had some really good food (all the food in Rome we had was really good) at one of the recommended restaurants. Oh, another thing about Italy in general: everyone spoke English (like even beggars), and lots of the signs had English as well. And the people were so nice to us, too. You hear all about how foreigners hate Americans, but it didn't seem like the people we ran into did.

Second day: the first half was a tour of the Ancient Rome area. I say area, because there are only a couple of places where the ancient stuff is really visible. Apparently the Tiber floods and covers things, leaves silt, which covers up existing buildings, and people just kept building things on top of them, so Ancient Rome is underneath modern Rome except for places where people dug it up, and mostly they only dug up the area round the forum. The Colosseum, which I guess was too big to be buried, happened to be in that area as well. The C. was impressive, I was glad to see it. I think it hit me that I was in Rome when we drove by it on the way from the airport, just like it was any other building, but it was the motherfucking Coliseum! It is sort of busted up when you look at it up close, especially inside. The barbarians sacked and looted it, people who wanted weapons hacked into it to melt down the iron framework inside, and various popes took out the marble stairs and other things to use as paving in other buildings. A lot of the ancient things we saw in Rome had been victims of this "recycling," as they put it. There's also part of the top missing, as most people can see even from pictures, thanks to an earthquake. But it's still amazing, that building has weathered all that and more, it's over 5,000 years, and I got to see it! The Romans really built to last... its so well put together that it didn't need the iron. They even earthquake-proofed it somewhat by putting sand and lard in the cracks between stones. They used good stone and strong arches. Which, though Roman's use arches in just about everything they make, because it is one of the strongest structures in architecture, we learned that they actually got the idea from the Etruscans, a people they conquered early on. That seemed to be another common thing the Romans did, learn from the best of what they encountered and use it themselves.

Then we had a tour of some crypts and catacombs, it was actually free, some other tourists had paid for it but didn't want to see it and Jeremy really wanted to. The first stop was the biggest catacombs (I can't remember the name, they have multiple catacombs). I wasn't that impressed--it's basically a burial ground for early Christians. But the barbarians busted it up, so everything was gone, just holes in the wall where bodies had been. The second stop was a temple where you could see the effect I mentioned earlier, with the Tiber covering everything. Because at the top was a 14th century church. It had been built on top of a 6th century church. That was built on top of a 3rd century pagan temple. Which was built on top of a 1st century building where grain was counted. It was really cool to see the different layers. There was even water flowing through the 1st century building you could drink, there was still a working aqueduct connected to it--and that's actually how this other stuff was found, a priest working in the church on the top could hear the water, and no one else could. He thought he was going crazy, and ended up digging up the floor to see where the noise was coming from. The last stop was this Capuchin monastery. They moved from a different monastery, and when they did they took all the previous monks who had died at the prev. monastery. They actually used their bones to make elaborate designs on the wall, and things as complicated as chandeliers. And after that, every time a monk died they'd do some process or other to clean up the bones, and they would go on the wall too. It was admittedly creepy, but it was a very interesting sight. They had lots of symbols and things, and in the last room they pretty much come out and say it: "What you are, we were. What we are, you will be." There were even children's bones (the family had donated them) to show that it doesn't mater what age you are, death comes for everyone. So basically, life is fleeting, make what you do count. There were also images of rebirth as well, because in the Christian faith, your death is only the beginning of your eternal life afterwards. I thought it was an uplifting message, and an interesting way to go about it.

3rd: The Vatican. It is hard to begin to describe everything I saw there. There are rooms upon rooms, and every pope since it was built has added something to it. For instance, Jean-Paul was nice and added a better entranceway for people to go in. Pope Sistus(sp?) created the Sistine Chapel (though it was a later pope who commissioned the famous ceiling artwork for it). And then there were popes who would basically put there name or coat of arms all over everything a previous pope made and pretend they did it. I esp. loved this guy who had a bee as his coat of arms (yeah not sure why, like Jean-Paul had an M for the virgin Mary, some other guy had a dragon, etc. etc. not sure why some other pope loved bees so much) who then proceeded to put bees on EVERYTHING so that people would think he did it. So if you go to Rome you'll randomly walk up to a fountain and see bees carved into it, or if you go up to half of the paintings or pictures in the Vatican, you'll see that guy's bees.

But some of the best places were: the Raphael rooms, paintings by Raphael that are pretty much the epitome of Renaissance painting. One painting of his, for the library, had pictures of basically the best teachers of everything. So, Alexander the great for military science, Pythagoras for math, etc. He put Leonardo Da Vinci's face on Socrates. He and Michelangelo were rivals, he worked on this painting around the time Michelangelo was doing the sistine chapel, and out of respect he actually went back in after M. finished the Sistine chapel ceiling and painted him in as the best artist to go in the painting. In the painting M. is wearing boots, because he was always wearing them and even took them off and threw them at Raphael once.

The Sistine Chapel, of course. The funny thing is: M. had never painted before that. He was a sculptor! But the pope had commissioned him for something else that didn't work out, and decided to make M. paint instead. Can you imagine being a sculptor who had never formally painted anything before and your first try ends up being the Sistine Chapel ceiling? I can see why Raphael was impressed. There are also some beautiful pictures on the sides of the walls that other artists, including Botticelli, made. One side is stories from the old testament, the other is stories from the new. The ceiling goes from God creating everything (including the famous Adam & God picture) to a scene where Noah accidently created wine and is drunk. Two of his sons are being jerks and laughing at him, whereas the other son is being good and covering him with a blanket. It is supposed to show that two are bad, and one is good, but because of Jesus, even the bad behavior can be forgiven and people can be saved. And at the sides there are pictures of prophets sort of leading the eye down to the pictures I mentioned on the side. She told us also how some of the first stuff M. did was smaller, because it looked good from where he was, but from the ground you can't see all the detail (esp. this dove that is on the top of Noah's ark). Then the other half (including the famous one with Adam and God) is large so you can see the details even from the floor.
There is another painting by M. of the last judgement as well; 30 years later they made him paint again even though he didn't want to. What changed his mind? A looot of money!

St. Peters Basilica: where to start?? The dome itself is just covered in decoration, it was done in the baroque style---which means not a square inch is unornamented. Bernini did so much sculpture. Michelangelo actually engineered the dome itself. It was supposed to be larger than any other dome in Rome, but is actually (though taller) slightly narrower than that of the pantheon, as the pantheon has a hole cut out the top that makes it stronger to do things like that. Also, nothing taller than the dome was allowed to be built near it later. This was actually a re-do, the orig. basilica was made during emperor Constantine's time, but the pope who tore everything down and rebuilt it was trying to erase the memory of a crappy previous pope from the infamous Borgia family. I hadn't known this, but it is actually built on top of St. Peter's grave. Christians had guarded his grave for a long time; didn't want people to know where it was and destroy it, but Constantine asked them for the information, and they let him build St. Peter's basilica there. Since then, archeologists have dug under there, and they did find a skeleton that was missing feet (as Peter was, because he was crucified upside down and his feet were nailed so much to keep his body there that they couldn't get his body off without cutting off his feet). There was a marvelous bronze altar by Bernini, it was made from melting down statues at the Pantheon. My favorite part of the basilica, though, was probably Michelangelo's Pieta, a sculpture of Mary holding Jesus after he had been crucified. I am really not religious, but I found this (and the other religious works I have mentioned/will mention) absolutely gorgeous and amazing.

4th: This day was a little lighter (thank god, my feet were killing me by then). We rode around the city on a double decker bus tour and got to see the city over all. We stopped off to throw a coin in the trevi fountain, and we also saw the Pantheon (this is one of the better preserved pagan temples because it was converted fairly early on into a church). We had a really nice, special dinner, including some Limoncello! Yum! (by the way, the food everywhere in Rome was really good!)

Next day: We spent most of this day on the train to Venice. When we got there, we walked around a little bit down the main street along the grand canal, did some shopping, and went to bed. Venice was nice, and picturesque, but it was kind of sad. There are very few actual natives living there anymore, the population is only 50,000. A lot of the buildings are in disrepair because it costs over 500,000 to get even the worst house (and millions for the really fancy ones), so no one can afford to buy them. Plus, with them being on those canals and all, it costs even more to fix them up and maintain them properly. But yet it was super crowded--because there are so many tourists who want to see it. And everywhere you went were street vendors in your face, very few real businesses just streets crammed full of hotels, souvenir shops, and restaurants. I think I would've liked to have seen Venice at its height. Speaking of height: it's also sinking, which causes a lot of problems as well. There were still nice bits too, though. We visited islands in the lagoon, they were less crowded. Murano had some sweet glass making factories, we got to see how it was done, and they had some beautiful & elaborate things made of glass. Burano has historically been known for it's lace, and we saw some of it at their lace museum. It also had a lot of random cute cats running around, we started calling it cat island. The houses were really pretty, they were much plainer than in Venice proper, but were all painted beautiful bright colors. Torcello was probably the least populated of the islands. They only had one cat, except he was much friendlier than the cats of Burano. He walked right up to us and let us pet him. We decided the cats of cat island made fun of him for liking humans, so he was kicked off to live on Torcello. But now he's the king of Torcello and gets to be petted by all the humans he wants. We had a "hidden Venice" tour of less famous things, including the "tits bridge" where the prostitutes used to hang out. Also we got to see the Friar's church, which had some beautiful works by Bellini and another artist whose name I can unfortunately not remember. We never had a gondola ride, mostly because Jeremy got angry at one of the restaurants--they charged us over 100 euros for a fish, which we did not expect. It was crazy--more expensive than the really nice place we went to in Rome where we got some fancy booze in addition to the meal.

Then we took the sleeper train to Paris! Unfortunately I caught a cold in Venice, so the first few days in Paris were somewhat uncomfortable--though I did eventually find some cold medicine, which made it a lot better. We did keep a rather light load though. The first day we saw the Louvre--that was exhausting in my sick state, but worth it. I saw the Mona Lisa (the most famous thing there) but I've never been a big fan. I did love seeing Hammurabi's code (I know I'm a nerd) and all sorts of art. The next day we saw a lot of Paris via hop on hop off bus, it is definitely the most beautiful city I've ever been in. I also saw Notre Dame and Sainte Chapppelle that day. Notre Dame has beautiful stained glass, and Sainte Chappelle even more so (S.C. is known for its glass and the glass is even more beautiful than N.D., though of course the architecture there is not as fancy). Then the next day we saw the Arc D'Triomphe and the Musee D'Orsay. I really loved Orsay, they have a lot of post impressionist art that I am into, such as Van Gogh and Georges Seurat. We also saw the Eiffel tower! It was wonderful, you can see everything from there. Jeremy got nervous (he's afraid of heights) and had to leave, but I certainly enjoyed it!

Lastly, but not leastly: Versailles. What a beautiful palace, but to my surprise, the gardens were even more beautiful than all the gold and decoration inside. First of all, they are HUGE, like way bigger than the palace which is of course large, being that it is a palace. And every inch had something interesting or beautiful to look at. I don't even want to know what it costs to keep it up!

Then we flew home! Anyway, I really liked Paris, it was my favorite. If you notice it's a little more lean on details: I kind of got tired after vomitting out this huge post, stopped for a month, and then resumed just now. So... the details aren't as fresh in my brain. Good times had by all!

I am terrible, terrible, terrible at remembering to blog. And then when I do, it's not necessarily anything that great :P

Anyway, I needed to share with the like.... two people who read this, something awesome:

Ben Folds covering Keisha's Sleazy. At this point, good singers doing covers of shitty rap songs has been done a ton, but I always am tickled when he does it. I found this amusing and surprisingly good considering that even though I've never heard the orig. I have this wacky idea that it's probably terrible. The video isn't particularly hilarious or anything, but whatever.



And I found something else somewhat cool, someone splicing together a ton of people at his concerts doing this sort of acapella version of one of his songs.



If you want to hear his most hilarious shitty rap turned soulful ballad, there's always Bitches Ain't Shit



Oh, what the hell, while I'm doing it, Ice Ice Baby, unplugged, by Ben Kweller



Jonathan Coulton, doing Baby Got Back



This one is just hilarious because.... the orig. rap lyrics are fucking crazy. I mean, the rap lyrics of the aforementioned are dumb, but.... not that weird. This song is dumb AND weird, and hearing it sung by someone mocking it is pretty hilarious in my book.



And this isn't rap, but it always makes me laugh because I can tell they are about to crack up while they're singing it.



Ok, I'm done. You fuckers better watch at least one of these!

Kirk (Jeremy's cat) is so gross. He throws up at least once a week and when he does it's like, 6 times, all over the house. I told Jeremy he needs to see a vet, but Jeremy says that some cats just throw up all the time and he doesn't want to pay all that money to be told that there's nothing that can be done.

Fine. Whatever. Jeremy has to clean it. Even when Jeremy's not around I leave it for him to clean up later. Which is the cat's favorite time to throw up anyway. He's a nervous cat and misses Jeremy when he's gone for the weekend or whatever and it makes him throw up even more.

Except.... this time he threw up a tiny bit like, everywhere in the house. He threw up 7 little times. And I kept stepping in it so I was like "FUCK I'll clean it up." I had no idea what I was in for. His throw up doesn't smell from far away.... but when you're up close and personal trying to scrub it out of the carpet (yeah, of course the one place he didn't throw up was the tile) it smells disgusting. I don't think I can ever get that smell out of my nose.

So.... yeah. Also he usually does one big throw up right at the get go. That one I was going to leave.... but of course, it's in his actual food bowl. So yay I get to clean that up as well.

I know I'm whiney, it's just cat puke, I should suck it up and deal with it. But ugh... so gross.

Oh, also another reason why I am a terrible human being:

the other day I thought, "Gun to my head, if I had to make out with a Nazi.... it would be Joseph Goebbels."

So I tried to get off the antidepressants. Scratch that... I did get off the antidepressants. For awhile, actually. Long enough that I was out of the withdrawal zone. And.... I ended up depressed again. I was crying at work. Over being fat of all things... (I'm not super-fat or anything, but in the last few years I've gained a ton of weight, and it's all gone to my gut. Clothes don't fit well or feel comfortable even when I buy bigger ones. And the thing about gut fat... it does not go away. You exercise and diet.... and lose your boob fat first. I could lose weight and just end up being skinnier overall but still have my gut. I don't know what to do and it is extremely frustrating. I also feel horrible about myself that I have no willpower and don't exercise or diet to keep it from getting worse).

So... crying in the bathroom, hiding crying at my desk from my coworkers.... it's like before I got on the antidepressants all over again. I feel dumb, because back when I first got on them, I had a reason to be depressed. Now... I'm just sad that I'm fat. It's stupid.

But anyway I went back on them.

In other news, I think I'm going to be switched to the true day shift at work soon. I had the choice to stay on the old shift, and it was tempting, but I never get to see my sister & her kids. All of our hanging out revolves around eating dinner, and they eat dinner at 5. So... yeah, I mostly haven't seen them except for holidays since I started at the CRC about 4 years ago. What do you bet I still don't see them? My sister never invites me over, but having her whole family come to my house is problematic at best. Her kids don't behave themselves at restaurants, and I feel weird just inviting myself over to her house. But I guess I'm going to sooner or later. I want to see my dad more too. He started dating a lady, I started dating a dude, and we stopped hanging out near as much.

The drawback: having to get up early.

So I finally have my license back, and I'm now insured by Geico at an exorbitant rate because of my previous mishaps. My previous insurer dropped me completely while my license was suspended. I feel sort of traitoresque saying this, as I worked for my previous insurance co., but: GEICO IS WAY BETTER.

Seriously. They are cheaper. And SO convenient.... I bought it online and can access all of my info online. Of course, I will not be saying this at work ;) Seriously though... my insurance company is one of the biggest. How have they not freaking made it possible to buy insurance online yet? I hate talking to people I just want to get it done. I know that's a horrible attitude to have, and I know it costs the people who would be manning those phones a job, but I'm not the only one, and they're missing out on selling insurance to people like me.

The real bummer is I looked at a couple of websites and got a couple of quotes, and I had to provide my phone number and now people are calling me 5 times a day to get me to buy their stupid insurance.

It really does feel good to drive again, though. I was tired of being so dependent on other people to get anywhere. Though with gas prices going nuts, I'm not sure how much I will actually be driving.

So tired....

I love, love, love Jeremy but sleeping in the same bed as him can be problematic even at the best of times. I feel bad mentioning it to him or on here, but I mentioned it to someone once and they said he'd feel worse if I was keeping something from him. I told him that and he agreed.

But there's no solution that I can think of. Even if we wanted to be lameass frigid WASPS from the 50's who sleep in separate beds, there's nowhere to do so. The room with the couch has a rabbit who likes to loudly move things around his cage all night. The room with a futon has a cat who would walk all over me and claw my face all night, or if moved, meow and scratch at the door (either mine or Jeremy's) aall night.

And there's nothing Jeremy can do, I don't think. I mean, if he could control flinging limbs onto me, rolling over me, stealing the blankets, general tossing and turning, etc, he wouldn't do it in the first place.

I wish I weren't an insomniac... that's a bother even when Jeremy isn't aggravating it. It takes me forever to get to sleep. And sometimes when I'm woken up in the middle of the night, I can fall back asleep again, and sometimes I can't. Also, I might be wrong, but I think the way sleep works it's bad to be interrupted a lot, with REM cycles and all that. I know I feel tireder if I get interrupted a bunch than if I just have a smaller total time with no interruptions. Also I think it's cumulative... one night with almost no sleep is not as bad for me as several nights in a row of mediocre sleep.

So yeah... first night: Jeremy tossed and turned a fuck ton. He was tired too in the morning, and didn't know why till I told him what he'd be doing all night.
Next night: his parents house. I have trouble anyway in strange places, and I guess he did too.
Next night: Home again, but he was extremely sore from a workout he got at his parents house, and couldn't find a comfortable position.
Last night: same.

I really, really envy people who can fall asleep whenever they want to, and can ignore their partner's movements. Even when Jeremy's not being that bad, I find it hard to sleep through his movements. Even when there's no Jeremy it takes me at least an hour to fall asleep initially, more if it's a bad night. Is it that much at ask for to just get some good sleep?

Oh and of course it's also hard to sleep right now because I have my insanely itchy welt I now get every two weeks because of the medicine I take, that I now have to take forever. The medicine that also puts one at an increased risk of leukemia. Because if I'm not doing everything I can about my stupid colon disease (which, if unchecked increases one's chance of colon cancer--so I guess it's a trade off) my stupid job won't let me get my absences covered by FMLA. But this itch is literally so bad that I would rather have a day of bowel clenching pain every week than itching so bad exactly half my time on earth that I think I am going to go blind, and certainly know that I'm driven to distraction. It's impossible to think of anything else.

Whine whine whine. Whatever.

So I gave this blog address to a friend. I remember how nervous I used to be to do that, because I was worried I'd want to talk smack about that friend in the future and be unable to do it. Yeah, I'm a great person.

But I don't blog enough anymore to be laying down the smack and I don't really have any friends who currently need smack so it's okay.

If he reads it, that will bring it up to a grand total of two people who read this (not counting me), I think. I know Jeremy used to read it but now that we live together I think he thinks he knows what's going on with me and doesn't need to read it. Which is probably true, I rarely have an unexpressed thought :/

And then a lot of my other friends gave up reading it when I stopped posting as much. Tina (what did I do to deserve a friend like you, Tina?) seems to be the only one.

I'm not upset or anything. It just sometimes makes me wonder if I'm too vain, all writing about the ins and outs of my life when not too many would care. But I feel bad stopping. So I guess I won't!

In other news: health has gotten a lot better. 2 and a half weeks without missing work now. It's sad that that's a victory, but it is! I'm due to see the doctor tomorrow, I need to ask him about the itchy welts the medication gives me at the injection site. But at least I'm not having as many poo issues.

Also yesterday I tripped on the way to work, the same route I always use. I got a hole in my brand new pants. And if you knew how seldom I buy pants, you would be angry about this too. I scraped that knee, bruised the other, and scraped up my hand too.