First off, I got a sore throat last night. Sorer than my perpetual dry throat I have problems with, even. And ever since I got a flap of skin infected down there once, I'm pretty obsessed with actually trying to look in there (mirror + flashlight). And.... I had a weird bump on the roof of my mouth near the back of my throat (soft palate area if you are a biology person). Well, it turns out it was just a canker sore, which just goes away after awhile, but I can't figure out how I got the darn thing, I'm not one who's prone to them. But, I didn't know that, so I literally spent approx. 3 hours at a quick care doctor office (and I don't know how much money) to be told it was nothing. Oh, and to have him actually poke it a couple of times which made it hurt worse.
Okay, normally something like this would just be annoying, and I'd blame myself for jumping the gun, (though when I wait and it gets worse I blame myself too, damned either way) several factors combined to make it the perfect storm of horribleness.
1) Most importantly, I forgot to take my antidepressants. When I'm in withdrawal on that, tiny things can make me upset and have panic attacks.
2) I had a horrible, horrible, horrible headache and I forgot to take advil before I went, so I was sort of trapped there for several hours trying to get somewhere, anywhere that I could just take some frickin' advil.
Oh, and worse than waiting for the doctor (which did suck, but there were for some reason about a million people ahead of me, so I get it) was afterwards they made me stick around a half hour just to sign whatever paper they make you sign after they treat you. So... the fact that I wasn't really treated for anything and then had to stick around that long stuck in my craw. And it was cold. And I had the headache. And I started having a panic attack. See, Jeremy has cankers (it's not contagious so I can't blame him) and I looked it up on Web MD once (seriously that site should be outlawed. I can sit there for hours looking at it and being convinced that I am going to die) and one of the causes is crohn's. Which is similar to colitis. So.... fuck, this is just another regular thing I can look forward to in my never ending cycle of deteriorating health? Just like the crazy breastbone thing? Is my immune system going to systematically kill everything? Or just half of everything, and let other diseases get the rest because it is too busy attacking my own body? And I started thinking of how old people immune systems get bad anyway and together with that I'm going to get every horrible thing possible, including shingles which sound like the worst thing ever. And I thought of my grandpa's girlfriend who got shingles from being treated for Leukemia, and was like, oh fuck that new drug I'm going to be taking soon, an increased chance of leukemia is a side effect. So my immune system is going to suck cause it sucks anyway, then I'm going to get on these drugs which hurt your immune system more, they're going to give me leukemia, and then I'm going to fucking get shingles and/or die from leukemia. So this stewed in my head more and more (yeah, panic brought on by stupid antidepressant withdrawal, at least partially) and all I want to do is fucking get out so I can have any other possible distraction from thinking about shingles and take some goddamn advil. I seriously was about to sneak out.... I went to the bathroom, and was going to just leave if they hadn't gotten to me yet.
But they did. So at least I didn't break the law or whatever by leaving before I sign whatever documents saying that if I die because my canker sore was secretly flesh eating disease and he diagnosed me wrong, the office is not at fault.
So I decided to call off work, on top of all of that my bowels felt awful too (didn't really mention it because I'm so sadly used to it. And a headache that is literally as bad as it can possibly be without being a migraine is at least good for taking your mind off the bowel pain).
Anyway, by the time I got home, I was feeling a lot better. I stopped off and bought advil at meijer (which is really close to the quick care office) and by the time I got home was good. I get the liquigels which are super fast! And had had a bowel movement which made me feel better.
So I decided to surprise Jeremy by having a good home cooked meal on the table when he came home for work..... and he was not that impressed. Err, maybe impressed isn't the word? I mean, I don't think I should get a nobel prize or anything just for lifting a finger to cook, but I thought it would at least be a nice dinner together. However, that sort of fell through because (for reasons I won't get into because this is a horribly long post already, but that are totally justified), he was super angry at his cell company. And Jeremy doesn't get angry much, so you know they did something pretty bad. Anyway, he didn't take it out on me, but was in his own world and seemed to barely notice. He wolfed down the food so that he could get to the cell store before it closed. Regularly, I might find it a little annoying, but I was pretty sad due to already having a shitty day and then of course, the drug withdrawal.
Anyway, within a little while of getting back home he realized I felt bad and kept apologizing and saying that the dinner was really good. He gave me a really nice backrub, which was esp. good because my back was sore. We cuddled and watched a movie. It was Coraline. I had really wanted to see it when it was in theaters (it's based on a book by an author I like), but for whatever reason never got around to it until now. It is really, really good. Actually, way better than the book. The book is for relatively small children, and hence not that detailed or anything, so the movie was better. How often does that happen?
Speaking of movies, I wanted to mention the Switch which we saw yesterday. I really liked it. It's by the same people as Little Miss Sunshine. It is not as good as that, but sort of has a similar energy. It is sort of a romantic comedy, but it's almost more of a father/son bro-mance to me. Which, by the way, I sort of like. There are so many romantic movies out there, so I'm glad when there are movies that explore other types of relationships. Anyway, the kid was adorable. I don't even like kids, so you know if I like a kid, that kid is awesome. And Jason Bateman is actually a pretty good actor. We all know he does comedy well (Arrested Development, what what!) and this is a comedy, but there were emotional bits (which is kind of why I wanted to see it, I like movies like Little Miss Sunshine that can be funny but sort of have an emotional core to them). I think we're going to see Tom Pilgrim vs the World soon, too. Jeremy's been pretty hot to see it since we saw the trailer. And Michael Cera is in it (another Arrested Development alum, what what!) and he's usually pretty good. I mean, I actually saw his Youth in Revolt not too long ago and it was better than I would've guessed.
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