So I didn't show up to that job interview, which is retarded. Yeah, I don't want that job in and of itself that bad, but I do so very much want to get out of where I am right now. I just had some sort of retarded panic attack and couldn't make myself do it. I'm going to have the same awful job I have now forever until I go crazy or die and I have no one else to blame but my stupid self. I mean I've made TONS of bad decisions that led me here, but fucking not even going to an interview you have set up is probably the most blindingly obvious one.

Then I felt like shit and all depressed, and Josh felt like shit and all depressed about his own problems, and we felt crappy about each others problems and he left earlier than he planned, and wouldn't let me drive him home like we had originally planned. He says it's not about me, but I worry.

Also I bought an electric mixer and my meringue still is shitty.