bleh....

I feel like my self esteem is at an all time low.

Today I had a ton of customers just fucking hang up on me while I'm in the middle of a fucking sentence. While I'm trying to fucking explain something to their ungrateful asses. Total fucking assholes... I mean once in awhile I will get someone who does it, but I just got a bunch of them tonight.

Then I went home and made the shittiest lemon meringue pie ever. I don't know why, but I think since I've been baking my self esteem has sort of gotten caught up in it. Like, "look, here's something I'm actually good at!" but now I've failed for the first time since I really got into it and I feel like crap. Especially since I was making it for Josh, he really likes meringue and the whole time I've been planning to make this I was thinking of how much he would like it.

Then I also feel crappy because I cleaned the hell out of this place on Weds and now, thanks to the baking, it's already dirty again. It looks like I didn't even give a shit someone was visiting and I didn't care to make it nice for him. But I did. And I really don't have the energy to re-clean.

I have a stupid interview tomorrow for a job I don't want and likely will not get. I don't really feel like waking up early and blowing smoke up these people's asses.

Crap crap crap I feel like crap.