dammit

I hate my job so, so much. But yet I continually sabotage my chances of getting the hell out of there.

Seriously: I missed work today. Because I was crying. Some of it was stuff I mentioned in the previous post, and the other bit was I kept thinking, "I can't stand it if someone is mean to me today. I will just totally flip and go crazy." Which... there are 100% odds someone will be mean to me at work. I have better and worse days, but there is always someone. And I just kept thinking of it and couldn't make myself do it. I already have too many absences...

I couldn't really calm down again until A) I called in and told them I couldn't come to work and B) I talked to Tina on the phone for awhile. So yep, that's my awesome story today.

I probably need to just quit and go back to retail or something. But the economy's poop... even if I get a job now it would likely evaporate after the Christmas rush, given this economy. Every time I calm down from a freakout like this (yes, I have them all the time about my stupid fucking job but usually not as bad) I try to convince myself that I'm going to get promoted, and it's a colossal waste if I quit now. But then I freak out again later.