afds

Today blew. I dunno why, it's not like I got particularly horrible people today or anything. I just felt like I was jumping out of my skin the whole time, which is just a symptom of being me sometimes, I guess. I couldn't stop looking at the clock to see if I could go home yet. The other shit thing is that when I had a day like that before, I could sometimes make myself feel better by thinking, "I can call my favorite person in the world when I get home, and it'll be okay," but I can't really now. And then thinking about that just got me depressed again. But the main problem was just being antsy as hell.

Yesterday was awesome, though. Julie was in town for this party with some of her friends and invited me over. And it was a nerd party, not a real party (i.e. games and talking instead of loud music and drinking) which made it totally awesome. Even more awesome is they totally got me. Stuff like this just makes me wonder why the hell I can't make friends most of the time, because I'll occaisionally go to a party or something like this and it just clicks, everyone loves me, I love them, shit is gold. Anyway, this is the first gathering I've gone to since my housewarming party, which wasn't even that great, and it's the first time I've really had fun and enjoyed myself doing something since the break up. So it was a really, really good day. And it was awesome to see Julie again, I miss her.

Another really fun thing about it is the main part of the evening was spent playing rock band, which the guy whose house we were at just got. I sang most of the time, because I'm kind of crappy at video games, but that was fun too, and you sort of had to have a strategy about it. And I was amazed at how many of the songs were actually pretty good, I think it must've been aimed for people my age, cause there was lots of grunge and stuff from the nineties. The older stuff was cool, like Blitzkrieg Bop (strangely, the thing I was most awesome at singing) and the newer stuff was good too, RHCP, Killers. I did try bass on easy, which was fun too, only my freakishly small hands hurt trying to reach the keys. Even creating our people was fun, my chick was a freakishly tiny angry black woman garbed from head to toe in neon pink. All in all: a very good day.