word

So I realized what I hate about my job is all the lying. Well, no, actually it's still the people yelling at me all day. But the lying's really stacking up too.

Really: I am not a great person. I don't not lie because I'm good, I don't lie because I fucking suck at it. Simple lies, sure. More than once I've said, "you don't look fat!" or "I totally bet your band is toing to make it!" But anything that involves a backstory, especially one I have to think up as I go along: no.

So actually: it's not so much even the lying. I've taken it upon myself to use one common lie over and over and I don't even feel bad about it. It is, ladies and gentlemen, "I don't have access to that information." Yeah, I don't have access to a lot of info, but I do have access to some, and I'm not allowed to give it out. Being told I don't have access doesn't really make the people less angry or mean to me, but it is a lot easier than explaining to people that I do have it but can't give it out and arguing with them whether or not it's a valid reason even though I'm obviously a peon who doesn't make the rules anyway. Whereas it's pretty damned easy to defend, "I can't give you something I don't have," though it doesn't stop a lot of people.

Which is to say, what I really hate is the weaselly "tell the truth but only so much as we want you to." Then, they don't even tell me enough about the business I'm in to convincingly bs or weasel. I know dick about car insurance. Someone had to tell me this week the difference between a quarter panel and a fender. I'm left sounding like a total jackass because even after months of doing this, people will still ask a question in some weirdass random way that it will catch me completely off guard and I can't think of a response quickly enough which then they pounce on my hesitation and rip me a new one.

The weird thing is, it really is a good company. I firmly believe that, and I also believe that they do good things for their employees, their customers, and their community. There is the occaisional shitbag agent, but everyone has those. But the call center is a hole, full of human suffering, misery, and despair. A "good" day for me is basically when I'm bored out of my fucking skull. I can count the number of times I've talked to customers memorably pleasant on my hand. I've LOST count of the assholes, dumbasses, and dumbass assholes.

Gah I know everyone's tired of me whining about my job. But this is my blog and you don't have to read it and I need to freaking vent.

PS I DID talk to one of my favorite agent's customers today. That cheered me up a tiny bit.