monkey tits

Me: See that's one reason I hate men (non shitty ones excluded). They're all, "high maintenance women suck."
Me: but then they're like, "oooh pretty lipstick I'll date that one"
Ryan: haha
Ryan: that's kind of stereotyping
Me: I said non shitty ones excluded
Ryan: there's different types of high-maintenence
Me: most of my guy friends I include in the non shitty category
Me: for all that most of them would probably rather date a monkey than me
Ryan: aww
Ryan: monkeys are pretty cool though
Me: haha you got me there
Me: that tail can do a lot of things
Ryan: so don't take that as an insult
Me: I really can't compete with that
Me: I couldn't bring insulin to someone going into diebetic shock
Ryan: haha
Me: that's too much responsibility
Ryan: it really is
Ryan: best to just go with sexual favors
Me: haha
Me: "I know it's no MONKEY blowjob, but I'm cheaper."
Ryan: haha
Ryan: plus, you have breasts
Ryan: I dont' think most monkey boobs are all that good
Me: haha, thanks
Me: I should put out a personal ad
Me: "According to my friend Ryan, my tits are better than that on a monkey." :P