this honkey's gone to heaven

Best. Line. Ever.

Opt: You should feel good about yourself, because I go out on all of these horrible dates and have to endure horrible people, but you don't.
Me: Yeah, I like how you make it sound like this is a choice on my part. Like I was like, "I want to die old and alone.
Opt: Hey, it's better than dying old and with a chode.